Funk had missed most of this, too distracted by squeezing water from a nearby willow tree, but he got some and made his way back. His heart rumbled in anticipation, feet bouncing a little as some water spilled from the leaf. It'd been so long, so long since he got to just really REALLY cut loose. The League was loose, yet stuffy, full of eyes that stared at each other wondering who was really the craziest among us. Organized chaos. The worst kind of chaos. He wanted to shatter it and see what everyone was really made of. But he wouldn't have that power for a couple days, so getting to rule over Shadedstar for a night was a good pacifier.

Coming back to the medicine already working, Funk hopped over, placing the leaf in a groove between two roots. "Yeah, that happens. This is just the beginning though, so relax. Nothing bad is gonna happen." Least he wouldn't let it, no matter who showed up if anyone.

"Nope Nope." Funk gently stood next to Shadedstar, steadying him as he gently led Shaded back to the ground, "This goes in your eyes." He added, maybe pressing into the off balance tom too much out of excitement before reeling it back in. This was going perfect, just like he hoped, he dreamed. Seeing someone fall for the first time was the purest form of ecstasy for the tom.

"Now you just relax. Bare your heart. I won't remember either, so what's the harm?" Funk needed to know more, about how this tom got hooked on a cheap drink named Doestar, and how a dollar store bottle thought himself champagne. And he'd eat the same stuff to find out.

He listened to the rant, breathing deeply in through his nose. Lightly tapping one of his paws on Shaded's back almost like he was trying to comfort him. The events went about how Funk expected; Doe out flirting with any tom that'll look at him and inevitably hurting them because really, what more do you expect? He couldn't complain though, especially if it gave him more business. Heartbreak was truly a perfect form of chaos, the darker twist on love that brought the strongest to their knees. It brought a pain you'd do anything to dull, along with chronic pain, but heartbreak was a little easier to do. For a second, he looked back at the estate, expression unreadable as he turned away and approached the leaf filled with willow water.

"What a pathetic sack." His neck cracked as his head snapped towards Shaded, using the blunt side of an unsheathed claw to pry one of his eyes open, "Well, both of you are. But especially you right now, Shaded. You fall for a tom who's only positive traits are his constant nagging and fantastic ability to be a punching bag. And you have your ups and downs like everyone and you fight and make up, and somehow things look like they're gonna work out. And then the piece of garbage goes and find someone else, like really. Some people really do deserve each other huh?" He paced around, 100% not projecting his own issues on the impressionable tom, far too wrapped up in his own excitement to realize it. Grabbing the water, he opened each of Shaded's eyes and dripped a few drops into each eye, "Still, if you sit around all miserable, that means he won. So you gotta forget and move on. Cause damn he doesn't deserve to win after all that he put you through."

“Of course not!” Funk snapped back, throwing the leaf to the side. He couldn’t bear to look at Shaded anymore, stepping away a bit, “Look at you. You’re so perfect. Smart, funny, passionate. A god killer. And what is she? Just some two bit orphan who can’t even chase her own dreams and can only hang on to the coat tails of others. She makes me sick. But you can’t stay away. She does to you what you do to others, and being on the other side sucks but I love it and-“ Funk’s rant paused as a sharp pain ran up his leg. Looking down, he had stepped on a large glass shard. As blood dropped onto the grass below him, he stared at the glass only to be surprised to see his own bloody reflection.

He was gone, went too far, at 100% and only knew how to stay there. “And Doe, don’t get me started. He’ll follow any pretty face until he gets what he wants. Those that hurt him he cherishes, those that love him he reviles. That’s all I’ve known him as, and it sounds like he hasn’t changed a bit. I wonder what he thinks about the likes of you and me. A coward of a leader who can’t even earn his own lives. Pathetic worthless sack, makes me sick too. If you don’t earn your keep, what’s the point?”

"Ehh, this isn't quite going how I expected this going. But hell, if we're going in this direction, I see no reason to stray the course." He ignored the pain coursing through his veins and collapsed in front of Shadedstar, pressing his injured paw against the other's face to have him face him, leaving a small streak of blood, "And fine, me neither. And it sucks and I wanna go drown myself in the river cause of it. Just not even bother trying to live. Or throw myself in that crypt cause hey, having someone else live my life would be real nice right now even if it's evil incarnate. Besides me heh." Laughing like he always did, he rolled onto his back, "But I ain't gonna. Cause I--I wanna leave this place. And get out of here, and just leave all these stupid feelings behind. Everything. And you should too. This is stupid, it takes too damn long. Some old elder I gave some medicine too said the dumbest stuff. Like how love is chaos itself. Should have slit their throat, but it was just nonsense then. Back when I wasn't in this place, in this greenhouse, in..."

He rolled over quickly, standing up and pacing again. "They're like cockroaches! Can never get rid of them. UGH. You gotta get out of it while you can, okay. Gotta face it, they don't love you and they never will so who cares? Use you and abuse you til they get tired with a broken doll and throw it away. BUT WHO CARES?! That's just Vegas baby. A moment of weakness will be taken advantage of. You slip up once. One wrong step or scratch and you're nothing better than a worm. I can't be mad when I'd do the same to someone else. I've always been the boot and not the insect. This is a medicine I don't get to taste too often, ooh it's bitter and sour. I LOVE IT. They keep this stuff outta heaven for a reason. Despair itself is a drug, how fun. So let's just go party and drown in our own blood. And wake up tomorrow and forget it even happened."

He tilted his head back at Shaded, finally being brought back to his actual situation. Whiskers twitching a bit at being called handsome, he smirked, "Yeah. Spoiler, we're in the same boat. But you're bound by your relationships and I'm bound by the noose around my neck. I'd say screw 'em, but you're not me, and you won't. I can tell." Finally settling down on the grass, he drummed his claws against the ground. He didn't even want to think about his own newborn kits and what he was gonna do now. This was supposed to be a bit of fun, but now he was even more depressed. "You're not the type, not me. Too bad, gorgeous. If you were a little more dangerous, I wouldn't let you go." He laughed. There was no point. There was never a point, was there? It was just another thing he had taken into his mind. Another 100.

"I don't know man. Either move on, or kill the guy Doe got with. Kill Doe too. Really prove a point."

Maybe he should just tell Eshek how he felt? But the more he thought about that, the dumber it sounded. The likelihood she'd like him back was like 0%. She hated every tom she came across, so why would he be different? Hell, she made it clear she didn't like him. But they always ended up together so who's to say? Well, a part of him liked the idea of just letting himself get over this without saying anything, keeping all that uncertainty bottled up until he stopped caring about it.

He collapsed on the ground at Shaded's question, "You know. Primal Instinct. We solve our problems with violence. Force of habit. Sorry dear." Shrugging at his flimsy reason, he didn't push it.

It was true, Shaded had Funk. Even if it were for just a night. And Funk found solace in having someone around who wasn't constantly cuffing his across the ears. And even just ranting to someone who wouldn't remember it tomorrow was nice. It made things feel straightened out, even though they weren't. Just that vague feeling was nice, though he was disappointed when Shaded moved away from him just as quick as he buried himself there.

"I can go get you some. I don't think you can walk there, but I can carry you if you'd like." He made the second suggestion without thinking and immediately regretted it. Gee, was he that desperate? Sure, he was tall but he wasn't very muscular so carrying him would may as well kill him.

"You would." Funk was once again at the larger tom's side, gently steadying him just a breath away. "But it'd be more fun to watch you fall on your butt trying to get water." He added quickly, occasionally knocking Shaded's paws with his own. Just one at a time, enough to annoy him but not enough where he couldn't recover from it. Should he be trying to trip this sweet heartbroken and nauseous tom? No. Was he gonna anyway? You bet. Prancing like he was on air, the bengal tom let out a snicker as he pressed a little closer.