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Dusky had gotten hurt while hunting, nothing to severe, but with a twisted leg he would only worsen his symptoms if he was sent out to toughen it up, which would inevitably force him to take more days off in the long run. Since then Dusky had been placed as a guider temporarily while he recovered. Thanks to his time in SunClan with Mountainsound he had learned quite a lot since Bloodystar at the time couldn't manage the healing side of things.
Dusky's ears flicked in the direction of the entrance as his mother entered. Guiltily he tried to look busy on the task he was given, which was sorting the herbs, but beside him was a pile of herbs that didn't look familiar. Combinations of herbs that he had wasted by testing on them. He tried to be smart about it, using herbs that would soon expire due to withering out, never using any of the fresh ones.
"Hello commander," Dusky said formally, but remained lying down instead of sitting up properly. He was sick, he figured he got enough of a pass to stay down.
Shule gave Dusky a pass on the not getting up thing. Partially because of his injury, partially because she just didn't have the energy to deal with fighting someone today, let alone her own family. The explosion and surrounding events had taken it's toll on her, and she looked more gaunt and tired than usual, though her crystalline eyes were as stoic and cold as ever. She watched him busy himself with work, though it was impossible to miss the pile of wasted herbs. "Hello, Dusky. I see you've been having... fun, with the herb stores."
"I would never," Dusky said in a tone that could be taken as serious, but by anyone who knew him was an intentional facade to poke fun at the situation, "Fun's not allowed here, reserved for two moons old only."
He whisked his paw in a gesture to the pile, "Yeah, the thing I was making didn't work out. It was supposed to be a growth serum for plants, but it had an adverse reaction," He said, but his turquoise gaze stared blankly into the wall before facing his mom again, this time with a genuine serious expression, "Do you ever feel like you're this big ball of light... And people love you for it, but underneath you're containing this fire and it takes all your effort to not let anyone know that the source of your light is really something that can smite everyone around you?"
Shule's ear twitched slightly, maybe in amusement, maybe irritation, it was hard to tell. She sat down beside him for the moment, drifting a paw through the discarded and useless herbs as if she might find something useful in the bunch. "Can't say I do. I'd hardly consider myself a ball of light, and I doubt anyone else would either."
"You did murder the person I internalized as my leader when I met you," Dusky admitted, but quickly moved his paw out even if he was too far away to stop his mom, "Careful!" He warned, "They uh, they're pretty destructive," He said more quietly, "I didn't mean any harm, I was trying to figure out the growth serum, but after a while I started feeling funny and passed out, I really have a foggy memory of it, but I was pretty much immobile the whole time. The other herbs were all about as worse too with concerning side effects. I think it's just from the herb I tried combining them with that just isn't taking." He was going to leave it at that, but then again, he did promise his dad to be loyal to his mom and that meant being truly honest to her, "Either way, I'm sorry for messing that up, but luckily it's not a high enough dosage to bother anyone unless they're near it. I mean, imagine if there were more, the entire Regime would just fall weak to their paws. No one needs that."
She lifted her paw, head turning to blink at Dusky. "What herb? And what kind of side effects?" Shule did look concerned for whatever he'd gotten himself into, but she also couldn't ignore that small voice in the back of her mind that suggested this could give the Regime leverage over other clans, despite their small numbers. "You shouldn't be just randomly experimenting like this, what would your mate and family do if you got yourself killed by doing something reckless without anyone knowing?"
"Uhhm," Dusky paused, teetering on telling her the whole truth or a half truth before deciding to just put off what the herbs were. But immediately he felt regretful about his experiments, he probably should have given up the first two times things went wrong, "You're right, I'll take care of myself more," He promised, "The side effects just left me feeling helpless, I couldn't move, but while my memories foggy, I have a feeling that in the moment I wasn't all there, but a lot of me was conscious. It was a weird separation of body experience where I feel like if someone asked me a question I'd leisurely tell them the answer regardless if I would have wanted to or not because half my mind just wasn't thinking properly or could react fast enough to remember to stop myself from speaking. I know because I wanted to lie to the guider who found me, that much I remember, but I wasn't able to."
"What herb, Dusky." Shule repeated, looking up at him. She could tell he dodged the question, and regardless of her intentions, not knowing about whatever this was that could be used against the Regime, or to help them against their enemies was dangerous. "I'm glad you're okay, but this isn't something to try and evade talking about. Especially something with such dangerous potential."
Dusky stared at her like he was trying to figure out why she was staring before blinking and realizing she actually wanted an answer, "We just went over how you're not exactly a ball of light and now you want me to give you a recipe for literal destruction? I can't trust you with that. I'll throw out the herbs in a hole and bury them though," He offered.
"And you're still in bootcamp, knowing an herb that could potentially get the Regime destroyed." Shule answered seriously. Even from her own family, there was one thing Shule generally didn't tolerate, and that was disobedience. "If you don't tell me what the herb is, I'll just have to have the Mercenaries hold you while we search for them, Dusky. Don't make this harder than it has to be."
"Why is it that the ones who make things harder than they have to be always accuse the other person of being difficult," Dusky thought to himself a tad bit begrudgingly.
"Do we even have mercenaries, plural?" Dusky asked.
Alese and Brilliance definitely left, but he knew Ilius had come. He hadn't seen Fjord and Odanna in a while though...
Dusky shook his head free of the thought, "I understand you want the answers, but also be considerate of your son who doesn't want to be the reason their mother committed a dozen war crimes if that's what you want with it," He rubbed his temple trying to think. He promised Sean he would be loyal in exchange for Unseenlights to live, but if he showed disobedience Sean could take that life back. Plus, if he exposed Sean, Shule would be furious and the group was already a mess as is, "If you want them gone I'll provide you that and if you want more I too will supply you, but you're not going to learn the ingredients. Or you can try your luck at deciphering the poultice, but you won't recreate it," He said and almost looked done, but suddenly lifted his head at what he was forgetting, "Also while I have the upper hand can I maybe push you to let me out of bootcamp? It's been half a year," he pointed out, but silently thought to himself and I did just prove I'll try my best to say no to up and coming terrorizing threats...
"What's going on in here?" Sean asked after hearing Dusky's voice. It wasn't like Dusky's voice was rare, but more like he didn't speak for very long.
Shule moved a paw slightly, pressing down on one of Dusky's paws with considerable pressure to prevent immediate escape. "Sesn, I need you to hold Dusky." The Commander stated simply, her gaze watching her son as if expecting him to try and run. She wasn't entirely sure what possessed her to need the name of the herb, but perhaps she was simply done with the disobedience she'd seen in her family, or desperate to make a name for the Regime. "I'll explain in a moment."
Sean opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again, then just walked over to Dusky. He wanted to remind Shule that he was not comfortable with her murdering their son, but then realized that if he was wrong about her intentions Shule would lose it on him. And really, out of all the children he would risk his life for, Dusky was pretty low on the list. Not that he wasn't a great son, but he never bonded with him and Lex was clearly more of a father to him then he was.
Dusky felt his heartbeat more than he heard it as the ringing in his ears overlapped with the sounds and words spoken around him.
"Would you really do this to me?" Dusky asked, searching Shule's gaze. He never felt Shule's dangerous side before, the angry aura that emanated in her. Even now he wasn't convinced it was happening and a part of that reasoning was that she hadn't pushed her claws into him. But the other reason he stayed in place was that the turn in tone practically froze him, like he had to assess she was serious.
Sean grabbed him from behind forcing his legs out from under him and pressing Dusky's head to the floor, holding him in place, as this time he struggled for freedom.
If she'd actually wanted Dusky dead, she'd have killed him already. Sean should've, at the very least. Or perhaps he thought this was the type of allowance she'd give when murdering her own family, though that seemed extra cruel to torture Dusky with the fact she intended to kill him. She ignored her son for the moment, turning her head to Sean. "Dusky's concocted some sort of herb mixture that, in his words, can make someone fall weak. He's refused to tell me what he used, but one of the side effects is that he couldn't move, felt helpless, and couldn't lie. Apparently his mind wouldn't react fast enough for him to stop talking." She explained briefly. "Since he's refusing to tell me and I can't trust that he wouldn't lie now, we're going to test the herb mixtures until we find the one that gets him to tell us what he's been messing with, and what he's refusing to tell me."
Shule lifted a paw to rub the side of her face. She looked tired, but even more than that, there was a glint of desperation to her gaze. Whether to keep the Regime safe, or use it for her own means, she needed to know what he made and how. Or maybe she was just trying to convince herself she was trying to keep the Regime safe at this point. Havilah leaving seemed to have changed something, she was willing to go farther than would otherwise be normal for her. Seasons of desperation resulting in a fractured Regime, and all she wanted was to be able to rest in her nest for a night, no longer plagued by the fear that the Regime would crumble down around her. To be able to finally relax and spend time with her family in peace, but that seemed oh so far away.
Sean stared at Shule before realizing Dusky was staring up at him, mirroring his same expression of disbelief. For an outsider looking in it wouldn't be unbelievable to think that Shule would be stern with her family. However historically Shule had always let her family get away with literal murder so the fact she wanted to torture Dusky for a secret clearly was not an anticipated reaction by either of them.
Maybe if he wasn't Shule's mate he would have easily passed off the experience by explaining this wasn't in his superior origin job description. But apparently this was what parenting looked like in their family so he couldn't just opt out. However, despite not having a bond with Dusky he felt his heart pounding extra hard in his chest as he felt Dusky squirm beneath him.
Dusky couldn't moved his head to his mom from Sean's paw forcing his chin into the ground so he had to settle for trying to talk where he was, "I don't know what the other herbal mixtures will do to me though," He said as calmly, but sternly as he could, but lost some of his composure as he let his voice rise in his next response, "And also are you seriously starting a villain arc right now?"
Couldn't they just be irrelevant tunnel people? If he had known this ahead of time he would have taken up a different hobby than experimental gardening today, but this always happened. The moment he did something slightly interesting he would get dragged into some kind of craziness.
"Hey, Shule, your beautiful husband here, hi. Um. You can't take any of this back once you do it," He said steadily and uncertain what kind of state of mind she was in except it was definitely close to her killing machine one. But then thought better about his phrasing. What would he have wanted to hear if he could go back in time when he chose a poor punishment for his eldest son, "What I mean is that I punished my son Anansi by putting him in isolation. I wanted to keep him safe from the league taking him back, but I put my sense of safety above my own sons wellbeing. It wasn't worth it, so I need to check in, is this worth it?"
A single tear dripped down Shule's eye as she watched both her mate and Dusky try to insist she reconsider. But the sympathy behind her eyes froze before them into nothingness, and she furiously wiped away the traitorous tear that fell, even as another fell. Though there was nothing beyond cold stoicism in her expression, some part of her mourned what might never be the same again. "If I'm a villain for ensuring the survival of the group I've given my everything to, then so be it." She whispered to her son, looking down at Dusky, and at this point there was no going back. Anyone could see that.
"I don't want to hurt him, but my paw has been forced. At all costs, the Regime must endure. And that means knowing what herbs could be used against us, or we can use to ensure our safety. I hope to the Blind Protector you didn't create anything that will leave you with permanent damage." She had lives to spare if needed, but she didn't tell him that. Her gaze shifted back to Sean. "It may not be worth it. And if the Blind Protector punishes me for this, then I accept that. But I will never regret putting the Regime first, no matter if I came to regret everything else I've ever done."
Dusky managed to squirm enough to roll over onto his back, leaning his face in Shule's direction as Sean managed to quickly recover and hold him down. Dusky's turquoise gaze was a copy of Shule's and in it she could see the reflection of her wrath, swirling like a hurricane in his vision, "Since the day you walked into my life, broke apart my family, that was your sacrifice to the Regime. Then when you were starving you took and threw away my life in SunClan as a sacrifice for the Regime. Are you seeing the pattern that you never sacrificed all those times it was all dependent on others. But despite the sacrifices that I gave, not you, but me I volunteered to be your scout superior multiple times because I wanted you to know I was there for you if no one else was. I've given you over half a year of my life to be a slave to your group, never allowed the privilege to see sunlight," His words bit into the ear like venom, but he closed his eyes for a moment, relaxing.
"But the greatest sacrifice for all that you put me through-"
A sorrowful smile parted across his lips, "is that I will love you. Through the pain. Through the betrayal. Most dangerous commander, yes you are, but for all that you're just made of hurt and fear." In that moment his eyes were aglow like sunlight filtering through hurricane clouds, but more precisely, in that moment his eyes were no longer reflective of Shule's, but of Glowstar's compassion staring up at her.
She expected his words to sting, and they probably would later, but for this moment anyway, all Shule felt was empty. Empty and tired, but determined. Her crystalline eyes met his without a hint of wavering as he spoke to her. Yet nothing stirred, except the singular thought that she had dug a hole too deep to back out from, tipped over and edge where things would no longer be the same again.
Until the look that reminded her of Glowstar's. Then an undercurrent of rage she hadn't even realized she was withholding unleashed itself, and it was only for a split second decision to dig her claws into the ground, gripping so hard her claws made a definitive scratching sound across the stone, that kept her from hitting him clear across the face, to wipe that look from his face. She turned away from his sharply, tail giving a single twitch as she blatantly refused to answer him. She didn't know what any of the herbs would do, but anything that would rid Dusky of that look in his eyes would suit her just fine. "You don't know nearly as much about me as you think, even if I am your mother, Dusky." She warned.
"I don't know you?" Dusky asked, rolling the words off his tongue like he was testing the sound, ensuring that was what he had heard. All the while he stared up at her with an expression that belonged to someone else with an understanding smile more warming than sun beams, "So I said all that because I was foolish for trying your patience? Or do you think maybe it's because I knew you wouldn't hurt me because I do know you well."
"Is that one a paralytic?" Sean asked, noticing a brighter herb in particular.
Dusky moved his gaze to try and concentrate on the one Sean was gesturing to, "Yes, I was trying to make something that could numb pain, but I wouldn't suggest using that one on me, I'm almost positive it would lock my jaw, I wouldn't be able to say anything. You know which you should use?" Dusky asked before pointing his tail at a darker herb, "That one, for sure, we can leave it as a surprise as to what it does."
Post by Honeystorm on Dec 12, 2021 23:27:17 GMT -5
Shule was growing tired of Dusky's comments, and whatever fire was in her eyes settled into irritated indifference for the moment. She sorted through the piles carefully. Either the special one would help him, or it was exactly what she was looking for. Regardless. "Don't fight this, Dusky. It's already hard enough as is, don't make it worse than it has to be."
To be honest, she didn't know what hurt she was going to cause by picking any of these six piles. But she ruled out the first two Dusky had talked about for the moment, settling on one of the other four. She decided to choose the one he'd told her to be careful of when she'd first gotten here. Since she didn't know the effects, rather than using her bare paws, she covered her pad in a leaf and then wrapped some cobwebs around it. Not ideal, but it would her from getting ill from whatever it was.
