So much for realistic dreams, he grumbled to himself as the ghost appeared in the corner of his eye. He was here to hunt, not have dream therapy. His subconscious might think it was being helpful by summoning a mirage of Littlestar here, but it certainly was not, and he wished he knew how to make her go away. It was a poor fake, too skinny and too graceful. Just as touchy as he remembered, though.

"Damn, really? No wonder I'm having so much trouble hunting tonight. Thanks for the reminder!" Singedwolf pulled away as she reached for his stump, his tail lashing, but he kept his eyes on her. The corners of his mouth curled up in disgust. "You think that little of me now, huh? I'm just a tired old man who can't defend myself against the likes of Bloodystar? Ha." He might have laughed more if it wasn't his own twisted brain making that point. Was this some complicated way for him to tell himself he needed to retire? He figured that one out already, thanks, could he return to his peaceful dream now?

Singedwolf tensed, his fur flaring as he tested her grip, but she was holding him tighter this time. Reluctantly, he let her hold him.

"Of course it wasn't Bloodystar," he growled back. "I told you, that poor excuse of a warrior couldn't hurt me if he tried. Not with his own claws and teeth. No, it was the same guard that did you in." His gaze flashed down to her sides as he remembered now how damaged she had been last time they'd met. Littlestar had been broken from her fall before the massive tom dragged her before the leader to be branded and imprisoned, but his crushing strength hadn't helped when he rebroke her bones. "Mountain. This happened because of you. I was defending your body and he did this."

Singedwolf wrenched free of her again, anything to avoid her eyes. The spiteful words didn't make him feel any better. He might feel bad for the cruelty if she had been here instead of just a figment of his dream.

Did he blame her? He was surprised to hear her saying that; he had thought about that day countless times, and he had long ago resolved that he could only place a small amount of blame on her. Everything that happened was ultimately her fault but the exact events had been too far from her control. So why was she bringing this up now? His only guess was his mind was trying to play some stupid therapy game. Reluctantly, he played along. Lashing out at Littlestar hadn't helped, so now he had to try the more honest route.

"Sure, you had a part to play," he agreed, unsympathetic to her anguish, "you were the one to invite him into the clan, the one to give him power and take away his deity, to use your enemy's power to do so. But I don't blame you either. You're vulnerable and other cats like it. Like you." He paused. "I don't think they're predatory, either. Other cats like that you're soft and care about them, it makes you a good leader in their eyes, even if it gave Bloodyrondo the opportunity he wanted. I can't be upset with you for following your nature."

Singedwolf's ears twitched back as he looked away. Under his breath, he muttered: "Though if your softness hadn't rubbed off on me, I might have won that battle. Too focused on keeping you safe to remember all his tricks. I suppose I can blame you for that."

"I've been telling you that for moons, little bird," he grumbled. "Haven't I told you that you make bad choices? Haven't I advised against most of what you've done? I've failed to teach you how to be cold, and most of your clan would think that's a good thing, I told you they like you. Your icebrained mate still wants to try and rescue you."

If this was supposed to be his mental therapy session, why did it feel like he was the one trying to reassure her? That wasn't how this relationship was supposed to work. She made stupid choices, he criticized them, and through some unknown influence things turned out okay in the end.

"You were never supposed to protect me," he reminded her. "I'm your guard, I'm supposed to keep you safe, and you've died and been imprisoned on my watch. If your father was here, he'd dig a deep pit in the ice and bury me alive down there." He smiled grimly. "Not worthy of my loyalty, huh? I think you've forgotten who I am."

His brother had killed cats, sure; Mountain's rampages had crushed a kit or two. But those were accidents. Singedwolf had hunted down innocent kits and slaughtered them intentionally. He was far less worthy than Littlestar, he was worse than Mountain after all, and it was a twisted joke for her to think otherwise.

Uncertainty flashed in the depths of his dark gaze. He wanted to believe her. Oh, how nice it would be to think she had a rescue team on the way, that she had evaded her captors, that everything was on the path to being right again. It would be such a relief to trick himself into believing such a plot. Maybe that was why it was so difficult.

You have been more of a father to me than Goldenstar ever was.

His head jerked up as his mouth moved in a wordless gasp, doubt hewn into his hard features, shock erasing years from his eyes. Maybe he had seen her in a daughterly light sometimes, the errant child he had never wanted, but he had never entertained the thought for long, never voiced it to himself. To hear Littlestar admit it so openly took his breath away, and he knew it truly was her.

"It is you," he reflected, his eyes wide with wonder. Singedwolf took a step back and looked her over, shaking his head slightly. "How is that possible? I'm not," he hesitated, "you know." Not a true SunClan cat: he had never really followed the ways of their god. Not a true WinterClan cat: he'd never followed the stars either. He had never taken comfort in religion or an afterlife or a deity.

And then, reflecting over what he had already said to her, the tom felt a worm of embarrassment, enough to drown out any warm feelings she had left within him. "Course I've been with you. That's my job, nothing else to it," he gruffly amended.

He rested in her embrace, tentatively resting in her warmth. It really was her. She was here, alive, and he couldn’t shake the thought. But he shook his head slowly and turned his face from hers.

“Then you should go. Stop wasting your breath on me and go save yourself. You don’t expect me to swoop in, do you?” His eyes narrowed. “I’m far away now.” There was nothing the broken tom could do to save her, she had to be strong enough to help herself.