Warrior Cat Clans 2 (WCC2 aka Classic) is a roleplay site inspired by the Warrior series by Erin Hunter. Whether you are a fan of the books or new to the Warrior cats world, WCC2 offers a diverse environment with over a decade’s worth of lore for you - and your characters - to explore. Join us today and become a part of our ongoing story!
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If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Nov 28, 2020 19:45:16 GMT -5
[Suicidal thoughts warning for this thread] It had been a few days since coming to SwiftClan, and Jetfire and her little family were already starting to look better than they had in moons. With their bellies filled and Firetooth giving them the medical treatment they had so desperately needed, every day they were growing stronger. Jetfire's gums were slowly becoming pinker instead of sheet white like they had been when they had arrived. She was producing more milk making it easier to keep her kits full and growing quickly. Jetfire was still frail and weakened, but her strength was slowly returning and the stink of infection that had been coming from her wound was nearly gone with the consistent care and changing her bandages.
She put on a brave face when her children were awake, pushing through the pain and exhaustion to be there for them. Smiling and giving them gentle encouragement, trying not to show them just how much mental and physical turmoil she was in. When they slept or were allowed to explore under the watchful eye of Firetooth, the façade she put on for their sakes would crumble, leaving her a sobbing mess. She wasn't in SunClan any longer, but she wasn't free of him. When she closed her eyes she could still hear the sound of his voice that made her shudder. Smell the iron tang of the blood he mixed into his body paint. Feel his touch and how it made her want to crawl out of her skin. She had fought for so long against him, only giving in when Ghostcrown's life had been on line. To save the tom who had not only saved her, but given her something far more precious than life... hope.
But to save him she had to take the present he had given her, and burry it. To give up what little dignity she had left and become what Bloodystar wanted her to be, his mate. The mere thought made her want to scream in anguish, as she tried to block the memories from her mind as they fought to seep to the forefront of her mind. It had been so difficult, but it had been her decision. To do everything within her power to save Ghostcrown from his fate but also to try and bring Bloodystar back to the cat that he had once been. Part of her had started to believe Bloodystar, even pity him convincing herself that if she could just force herself to love him that everything was going to be alright. That he would stop being so cruel to her family and clan if he just had someone that would love him. So she tried, tried to be what he needed her to be. Forcing smiles, saying sweet words, trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince him.
Ducking beneath the leafy roof of the nursery, Ghostcrown glanced around the enclosed space and found it unusually quiet. The other queens and kits were entirely gone from the den, and he wondered if that was his brother's doing; had Firetooth asked them to clear out, or was it pure luck that they would be alone with Jetfire and her family? As he stood across from her in the den, he offered a fleeting, reassuring smile.
Confronting her, being honest about his feelings, hadn't been the relief he had anticipated. He thought that he had to be direct with her, that she needed to know how deeply she had wounded him, and it was only after he had spoken - after he had seen her face crumble; after he had crushed her hopes with his thoughtless words; after he had realized his pain didn't need to be voiced, not right then - had he regretted what he had done. Admitting he couldn't forgive her didn't make him feel any better, it didn't erase his suffering, and it only made hers more intense. And now he doubted himself. Did she really want to hear this news from him? Did she want him to be anywhere near her and her family? Had he ruined all of the fragile trust left between them?
He had no answers for himself, but looking into her unquiet eyes, he just wanted to hug her close and refuse to let her go until she had forgotten everything else. He hated the words he had come here to say, but he knew he had made the right decision when he chose to be the one to say them. Ghostcrown still cared for her, and he wouldn't let her go through this alone - not unless she asked him to. If she told him to leave, he would, he would never speak to her again, but it would break his heart every time he turned away. He could bear that, though, he could bear any suffering it meant easing her burden, and he only wished he realized that a few days ago.
The inky black tom crossed the space in the nursery and tentatively reached his white muzzle down to rest between her ears, a regretful sigh escaping his lips. "Jetfire, we need to talk," he murmured gently, "and I think it would be best if it was just the three of us." Firetooth would be behind him, staying nearby to help with the inevitable fallout, and any medical duties he had to attend to. "My mother Breezestep has offered to watch your kits, or any of the other queens if you prefer."
If Ghostcrown was looking for answers from his younger brother, the Medicine Cat's grim green eyes offered nothing of the sort as he slowly padded into the den behind him, ducking to the side to sit quietly as the shadows danced across his bright ginger pelt like a flickering flame. There was some cruel irony in it all, Firetooth supposed; that while there was nothing he could do to give his adoptive sibling the clarity he so desperately wanted, it had been him and Jetfire that provided the peace and understanding that the young tom himself had been missing. Not every suffering creature could be merely healed by herbs, and there was no glory in such a crusade that saved cats only after they suffered. Honor, yes. But no glory.
Staring down at the sickly mother that was curled up in front of him, he was reminded too keenly of the bitter sorrow he had tried so hard to forget. But just because pain can wane in time doesn't mean it would ever be forgotten. Not for Breezestep, not for Autumngossamer, not for anyone. Firetooth had forgotten that, and in his delusions of grandeur and determination to create a legacy he had alienated both his own leader and his clan, perhaps beyond repair. It had only been his brother's pure and wholehearted belief in his cause that finally allowed him to see reason. He would help this she-cats and her kits, and give them the future they deserved to have. Not for the recognition, but because it was the right thing to do.
But this...his eyes narrowed wearily as he glanced between the pair. This would be the hardest part. And he wouldn't be able to do anything to help them. It would be entirely up to Ghostcrown and Jetfire to decide their future. He prayed to Starclan that they would be strong enough for it.
Jetfire had been trying to sleep when Ghostcrown and Firetooth entered into the nursery, but was failing miserable. The thoughts of Bloodystar infiltrating her mind even as she tried to push them away. Her eye lids felt heavy, but she knew no sleep would come. Her eyes drifted to Ghostcrown’s inky pelt as he slinked into the nursery, her heart nearly skipping a beat. Every time she saw him it was the same, an automatic shiver of excitement before things came crashing down as reality set in. He hadn’t forgiven her... She could still hear the words as clear as if he had just said them, her heart sinking lower and lower the closer her got. She looked away from him, trying to ignore the conflicting emotions of wanting to both wrap her paws around his neck and pull him into the nest him and shove him right back out of the nursery
She jerked away from his touch as he pressed his muzzle to her forehead, as if she had been shocked. Pulling away and putting distance between them as she curled up tighter around the sleeping kits. However one ear flickered forward when she noticed he wasn’t alone. Firetooth was there to, and there was a serious tone to his voice... was something wrong with the kits? She could feel the muscles in her chest tightening, making it hard to breathe as panic began to set in. She nodded, lowering her muzzle and gently rousing them trying to keep the tenseness out of her voice “Wake up sleepy heads” she teased, rasping her tongue over their ears “Breezestep is waiting for you outside. Go play for a little while”
She waited until the las rod the kits had tottered out of the nursery, whipping her head around “What’s wrong?” Her claws dug into the soft moss as she tried to keep her voice down “Is it Secretkit? He’s been acting off....”
I deserved that, he told himself as she pulled away, though his heart slammed urgently against his ribcage in a desperate attempt to follow her. It hurt to see her flinch from him; after all that he had done to try and help her, after all the progress they had made, she couldn't bear to be near him. She didn't want him here, that wasn't a surprise, though the fresh pain searing through his chest felt otherwise. But he had done this to her, that's what he had to focus on now. She had hurt him and that wound stung bitterly, but he hurt her back, and he had to put himself aside just for a little bit longer. Given the news he had to share now, it was going to be a very short time.
He stepped back as she ushered the kits from the den, listening to his mother's welcoming voice on the other side. She didn't know what he was about to say either, but she had seen the gravity in his face, and she knew he was facing a difficult task. She sounded so happy to spend time with the little ones, though, it was hard to imagine she could be feeling so grave. But finally, all of the kittens were gone, and there was no reason left to delay.
"Secretkit is fine," he assured her softly, then halted, looking sideways at Firetooth. Well - was fine the right word for her litter? They were a happy family, but he was stressed about them just from the little time they had spent together, he couldn't imagine how hard things had been for Jetfire. But that was beside the point now. He swallowed hard and looked back at her. Better to say it straight out, right?
When the truth came out, it was everything stopped in that moment. The nursery was quiet that you could have heard a pebble drop onto the sandy floor. Her round eyes dilated and staring blankly ahead, her claws freezing mid tear, even her sides stopped as her breathe hitched. She shrunk back as if Ghostcrown had slapped her, paw grasping at her chest as her lungs burned for fresh air... Pregnant? No... she couldn’t be, why would Ghostcrown say something so disturbing? Did he think her pain was some sort of game? She hadn’t... but... it was just... how? No... no... It was only that one time, the night she had begged Bloodystar to save Ghostcrowns life. The night she had been so desperate to keep him from dying in front of her that she submitted completely, the night she choose to do what she needed to to prove her sincerity. That she would be what Bloodystar wanted her to be, that she would try to love him and that she would would be his mate in more than just name. Sure there had been a small chance she would get pregnant, but even the sun god wasn’t that cruel... right?
She stiffly look down at her stomach, eerily quiet. She was still wrapped tightly to keep the infection away hiding the small swelling underneath from the growing kits. It being more apparent in thin state, but the unmistakable swelling was still there underneath the bandage. She was pregnant... and not amount of denial was going to change that. She swallowed hard “No....” hardly more than a whisper
Her claws started slashing at the cobwebs around her belly “No!” She repeated a little louder, no she couldn’t be carrying that monsters childer “NO” she repeated, cobwebs flying through the air, her breathing coming fast and shallow as panic set it “NO, NO, NO, NO” her protests coming faster and faster not stopping even now that the cobwebs had gone claws raking across her stomach along the long and jagged scar that had started to knit together “NO, No,No,No!!!” She screeched, tears streaming down her face. Bloody welts appearing as her claws gouged deep
Firetooth's body reacted before his mind could even comprehend what was happening. As soon as the Queen began to claw violently at her own bandages he bolted at her, grabbing her by the scruff a bit rougher than he wanted to, but this was no time to be gentle. In one fluid motion he pulled her scruff and flipped Jetfire onto her back, wrestling her front legs away from her stomach and pinning them to the cold earth. She was so weak from being malnourished that it was easy for even a Medicine Cat to hold her down, but dear Starclan did she put up a fight; giving him a few good, deep scratches in her blind panic that he'd have to put some poultice on later. Even after she was pinned she continued to thrash wildly beneath his hold, until finally he was left with no other option.
"What in Starclan's name do you think you're doing?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" Firetooth hissed, the words sharp, but the terror and concern in his eyes clear as day. Jetfire went unnervingly still, shrinking back as if she'd been struck. After a few moments where nothing happened, he let out a breath and loosened his grip, his heart pounding in his ears as his brain finally caught up to him. Jetfire had tried to re-open her wound....no, she had tried to claw the unborn kits out. None of this made any sense. Since they had arrived, Jetfire had been upset, but showed absolutely no signs of suicidal behavior, especially this severe. How in Starclan's name could he have missed this?!
It was only then that he cast his gaze back down to the Queen, her face flush with guilt and shame. His eyes slowly widened as the pieces finally clicked together. The kits' conditions. The botched C-section. The false accusation that had gotten his brother exiled from Sunclan. She already had tried. Jetfire had poisoned herself.
"Starclan help us all," Firetooth breathed, his blood running cold with the revelation as he slowly stepped off of her, before gently pulling her into an embrace. "Breathe, Jetfire. Breathe. Just let it out. You don't need to suffer alone any longer, I'm here for you."
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Nov 30, 2020 22:04:36 GMT -5
Her mind and body were numb, not feeling the deep gouges or even aware of what she was doing to herself. All she saw was red, the pure panic pushing any remnant of cognitive thought out of her mind. Fight or flight, kill or be killed. Reverting back to a far more feral way of thinking as she fought against the cat that had grabbed her from behind not even aware enough to figure out who at is was as she slashed and hissed as if her life depended on it repeating "no" over and over again. It was lucky that they choose to tell her while her body was to week to fight, as she struggled to free herself from being pinned.
It was only the medicine cats sharp words that finally managed to cut through the fog of emotions. Her body gong limp under his weight, falling silent and still save for the tear that slid down her cheek and rapidly rising and falling chest. The panic that had taken over her, slowly dissipating the longer she laid on her back forced to stay still. The weight of his body keeping her from tensing as the panic attack began to loose power over over her. Leaving only the brittle shell of what remained of her mind behind. Numb, trying to deal with the intense emotions by not acknowledging their existence. Then the weight was lifted, as she was pulled upwards into an embrace. Quiet sobs breaking the silence as her eyes closed.
You don't need to suffer alone any longer, I'm here for you
It was the words she had longed to hear for so long, but not from the cat she wanted to hear it from. Ghostcrown... where was Ghostcrown? Why wasn't he the one here holding her? How could he just tell her that and just leave? "Ghostcrown..." she whimpered between sobs, a pitiful cry as she sunk lower lower to ground in Firetooths grasp to a heap between his paws. Ghostcrown couldn't even forgive her for having him exiled instead of killed, of course he wouldn't be able to forgive her for his, not this of all things. It was the ultimate betrayal, and she had no right to ask forgiveness of him... She had no right to even be in his sight falling lower and lower only being held up by Firetooth keeping her off the ground. Shame... Fear... Pain... She just wanted to melt into the ground and disappear
“Jetfire? Jetfire!” His voice choked in horror as his stomach roiled. She was tearing herself open, and for a moment he was terrified she would pull out her kittens one by one in front of them. She would kill herself, tearing her wounds open like that, and what if the medicine cat couldn't save her this time? He stumbled forward a step, but Firetooth was there before him, and he numbly stood by.
Firetooth knew what to do; he knew the right words, he kept how to hold her close, and she wanted him there. She had flinched away from Ghostcrown when he came into the den - would she want him close now?
But it was his name she whispered.
Ghostcrown darted to her side as she hit the floor and murmured a soft "I'm here" in her ear, their fur just barely brushing as he settled at her side. "I'm so, so sorry," he told her fiercely, his voice was trembling and he didn't have the time to discern why. "We'll--- we'll figure this out, okay?" His reassurances felt so ... weak compared to his brother, but it was the most honest truth he could offer. If she wanted him at her side now, he would be there, but he held his breath and waited for her to push him away.
It was two simple words, as she felt his fur up against hers. For a while all she could do was just lay there and cry, the two toms on either side pressed against her keeping her paws away from her stomach as her entire body trembled and shook. Blood was already seeping out onto the ground beneath them, but Firetooth had managed to keep the damage to a minimum. The deep gouges running along side her scar and somehow hadn't managed to open it up, the remnants of cobwebs throw haphazardly across the nursery floor. For the moment, trying to calm the distraught queen would have to be the priority.
'We will figure this out'
Figure what out? She was pregnant, there were only two options and both made her sick and thrown into a corner with no way out. She could terminate the pregnancy. It was early on, and she wouldn't be the first she-cat to do so. BUT.... hadn't she already gone down that path? Bloodystars sharp words cutting through the fog of her mind 'They will grow up knowing that their mother wanted them dead and very nearly succeeded in doing it. Each day they wake up pained by the lasting effects of the poisons they will curse your name. They will hate you and the cruel fate you gave them..'
To try and kill herself and the kits that she carried in order to escape from Bloodystar's grasp. He had brought her back to life, and it was their kits that had suffered the consequences. What if it didn't work? What if these kits were born with even worse issues? But these kits were Bloodystars... The monster that had abused and threatened her, tore apart her family, disgraced her mother, forced her siblings into marriage, and threw SunClan into chaos. What if they turned out to be like their father? What if by allowing them to live she created a whole new litter of cats just as capable of such cruelty to be unleashed upon the forest. Knowing that she carried his kits within her made her feel dirty and ashamed, her skin constantly crawling. Like there was a parasite within her that needed to be removed in order to get any relief. Bloodystar's words echoing in her ears
Jetfire you will never escape me. You can run, you can hide, you can even try to kill yourself. I will always find you and drag your soul back to my side. This I swear
"Ghostcrown..." she choked out between her sobs "I know you can't forgive me and I won't ask it of you" she tried to keep her voice steady though it quivered almost as much as her crumpled body on the nursery floor "I am selfish, stupid, and worthless. All I do is cause everyone around me pain and suffering. My first love rejected me for my sister. I hurt my mother and father, pretending to be mates with the very cat who tortured them. I tried to kill the kits I carried to end my own suffering. I almost caused you to be executed. I lied to the clan. I told everyone that you were a murderer. I made you leave your family behind" she was speaking faster and faster, as she listed off all the terrible things that she had done, all her regrets an things that she hated about herself streaming out of her lips "I lied to my kits so they wouldn't hate me. I seduced Bloodystar so that he would you go, even though I knew I was betraying you. It hurt so much to watch you get thrown out, and I did nothing to stop it. I was so alone, hurt and scared"
"but this... this is pregnancy the worst thing I have ever done" she couldn't even meet his gaze her eyes swollen and puffy "You risked everything to save but, but don't you see that I'm not worth saving? You should have just let me die that day, then I wouldn't have hurt you so much. There is nothing I can do to change what I have done, and I will never be able to show you how much I truly despise this cat I have become" she picked up his paw and placed it on her throat "Ghostcrown... Please..." she swallowed hard "I don't want to hurt anyone any more.... Please..."she was shaking all over "It doesn't matter how far away you take me, I can't escape HIM. I can't escape the things that I have done. I don't deserve to live anymore, I don't want to suffer anymore. I just want it to end"
"Alright, alright, enough with the dramatics; no one's dying today." Pulling back from his embrace with the distraught Queen, Firetooth smacked down Ghostcrown's paw from where Jetfire had placed it on her throat, the vulnerable compassion that the Medicine Cat had just shown disappearing just as quickly as it came, hiding back beneath his prickly and no-nonsense mask. Starclan as his witness; if Bloodystar didn't end up suffering in the Dark Forest when he died, he was going to chase the Sunclan leader into hell personally. Sitting up straight, he wrapped his tail around his paws and stared down Jetfire.
"Since Bloodystar's clearly warped your perception of reality, allow me to set the record straight." This was what he was good at; laying down the cold, hard facts regardless of if it was what a cat wanted to hear, because it was what they needed to hear. "You aren't selfish; you were willing to give Bloodystar exactly what he wanted in order to save my brother's life. You definitely aren't stupid, because you managed to succeed in saving him. And you aren't worthless, because no cat is worthless. We saved you because we think you're worth saving, and you're not allowed to make that decision for us. The only cat you're causing pain and suffering to is yourself, because you refuse to forgive yourself, for doing what any cat would've done to protect their friends and family. Enough of this 'I'm so terrible' and 'I don't deserve happiness' talk; it's all completely mousebrained. If you've got enough time to go over every single mistake you've made in your life, then you have time to start over and make up for what you've done. You might not be able to change the past, but you can certainly still create a better future for yourself and the kits you've already given birth to. If you lay down and give up here, then no, you won't escape Bloodystar. Because that's what he wants you to do."
His voice was even and matter-of-fact, his eyes never breaking from Jetfire as he spoke. But as the final words left his mouth, he slowly stood up again, stepping closer until he was nose-to-nose with the she-cat. "You want to be free of him? Then get on your feet and move on. Squash the memory of Bloodystar like the disease-ridden maggot he his. Find your own happiness, and he will never have power over you again."
Despair welled in Ghostcrown as he listened to her, and once again he questioned if he hadn't been too late after all. She had suffered so much she didn't want to live any longer, and he wanted to help, but he didn't even know where to start. He'd never been in this position before, never wanted to be, and he was so terrified that if he said the wrong thing again, it would be the end. He couldn't, wouldn't let her hurt herself again, but it wasn't until she lifted his paw to her throat that he realized exactly what kind of help she wanted from him.
Instinctively he jerked away from her, on his paws and stumbling away the second that Firetooth batted her paw away. He was breathing hard, his uneven breaths lost somewhere between hurt and fury, but this time he overcame his shock quickly. For once, he was glad to push away his own feelings and focus on someone else's.
Ghostcrown shook his head and turned back, closing the distance between them swiftly and pulling her into his secure embrace. He curled around her, burying his face in the warm crook of her neck and letting Firetooth handle speaking to her, hoping his actions were at least a fifth as comforting. She had wanted him to kill her... and once again it nagged at him, that wasn't the sort of thing you asked for a friend, so maybe she didn't want him holding her like this... but she hadn't rejected the medicine cat when he first held her, she didn't push Ghostcrown away them either, so he set aside his worries for now.
There was one misconception left he could set straight, not that it compared to the speech his brother offered, but he felt he had to say something. Ghostcrown lifted his muzzle to her ear, his warm breath brushing against her fur as he murmured, "You didn't make me leave my family, I was going to die and lose them anyway. As long as I'm still alive, there is nothing that can keep us apart forever. But Jetfire, you did save my life. You didn't have to anything, you could have sat by and let me die, but you didn't.. you chose to suffer on my behalf. You're not selfish, but I am. I'm selfish, I don't want to lose you, and I won't let you leave me now." It wasn't forgiveness, but it was the best he could offer right now, and it was the truth.
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Dec 1, 2020 17:16:17 GMT -5
Her heart lurched as Ghostcrown jerked away from her touch, stumbling forward at the sudden movement as Firetooth got into her face. Her ears fell back looking more like a kit being lectured for doing something naughty than a queen being told to be happy.
Find your own happiness, and he will never have power over you again
But what if she didn't know how to be happy? It has been so long since she had felt anything even remotely resembling happiness. Before she had time to linger on the thought, she was nearly barreled over as Ghostcrown shot forward and pulled her into an embrace. She sat stiffly, as he cradled her gently. talking trying to get get through the panic that clouded her mind like a thick fog.
You're not selfish, but I am. I'm selfish, I don't want to lose you, and I won't let you leave me now
"Then don't let go..." she replied in barely more than a whisper "I'm not strong enough to face this on my own Ghostcrown, I need you" her body began to relax into his grip, head resting on his chest as she listened to the sound of his heart beating in his chest. Her own breathing starting to slow to match his, nose burying into the warmth of his pelts, his scent filling her nose, eyes slowly fluttering closed as she settled against him. Physically and emotionally exhausted "Don't leave me..."
He hesitated for only a breath before he rested his chin on the top of her head and murmured, "I'm not going anywhere."
Those were the right words to say, he knew that much. It was the first and only time he knew what to say to her. With her eyes closed, he assumed sleep had claimed her at last, and he was left alone with his thoughts and his guilt. How could Jetfire believe she needed him? She was stronger than he was, she had survived so much on her own, and he had done what frankly felt like the bare minimum to rescue her. It hadn't even been a solo attempt, his brother and some SunClan cats were on his side, yet it had taken so long for him to make it back to her side. I need you, she claimed, but what had he done for her so far? He'd just been lucky to find her on those cliffs, and the instant he brought her here, to safety, he had injured her even further.
She didn't need him. But she thought she did. She.. wanted him. Wanted him there with her, wanted him to stay and hold her, despite everything. He didn't deserve her faith, but burn the stars if he wouldn't fight with everything he had to change that.
Ghostcrown looked up at Firetooth with a desperate, wordless plea written across his face. "What do we do now? I-I don't know how to fix this, Firetooth," he whispered. "I don't know how to be there for her."
"It really isn't that difficult you fish-brain," Firetooth replied, rolling his eyes in only half-annoyance at his brother's dumb question. "It's in the phrase; be there for her. Easiest thing on the planet, so simple not even you could mess it up. Granted, knowing your track-record you could certainly try, but that's what I'm here for." At that last point, the Medicine Cat allowed the vaguest hint of a playful smile flicker across his muzzle at Ghostcrown, before settling into the even, stone-faced mask that he usually wore. The one that he had to wear as a healer and confidant. But if his older brother had stuck by his side like a burr you couldn't reach for this long, he didn't think accidentally driving him away with his own prickly attitude would be any sort of issue.
"In any case, we still have a serious issue to discuss," he meowed, glancing down at Jetfire's abdomen. "Like it or not, Jetfire is still pregnant, which isn't good, but not for the reasons you think. You still haven't recovered from your first kitting; the internal damage is trying to heal while at the same time your womb is stretching with the new, growing kits. That's a dangerous combination. It's certainly possible to have these kits, but at the very least it'll be a painful and difficult pregnancy and birth, and at worst...it could be deadly. As..." Firetooth paused, gathering his words. "As a Medicine Cat, I personally do not recommend going through with this pregnancy. If you want these kits, I'll support you will all the medical knowledge I have, but if you do not want to go through with this...there are...herbs, a type of vine, I believe, that will settle things with minimal damage to yourself. It's your decision, and you do not have to make it right now if you want to think things through."
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Dec 12, 2020 20:18:40 GMT -5
Jetfire curled into Ghostcrown's warmth, her head resting on his chest with her eyes closed. She was almost asleep missing most of the conversation until Firetooth roused her from her sleep, getting down on her level and speaking gently but with confidence as he spoke. The answer should have been obvious, terminate the pregnancy. Hadn't she tried to do just that only moments before when she had learned of the pregnancy? Her belly still bleeding onto Ghostcrowns fur from where she ad tried to rip her stitches open. She didn't want these kits, not.. HIS...kits. Firetooth's words making her shudder and she buried deeper into her pelt as if that would make it all go away. These kits would more than likely kill her, they had her tormenters genes, so why was she hesitating? The thought of having pieces of HIM inside of her made her feel so dirty and gross. What if they grew up to be like him? Just the four kits she had now took so much of her attention, and the thought of adding anything else on top her workload seemed impossible.
But despite it all she knew why she hesitated... Fawnkit...Secretkit...Grumpykit....Sparrowkit... She had tried to kill herself and them back then, and even though they had so many problems there was no denying that she loved them. She had hurt them, and there was no going back. They would have to live with the results of her decision, and she had regreted it ever since. It had just felt like the only way to save them and herself from Bloodystar... She slowly looked up from Ghostcrown's fur, only one question on the tip of her tongue "and the kits...?" how would her condition affect them. Her body was frail and weak, would she even be able to support their growth? Would they suffer because of her to?
Ghostcrown wanted to argue - being there for her was not easy, no matter how hard his brother tried to persuade him it would be - but he held his tongue. There were darker topics to discuss.
It was cruel to give her such a hard choice so soon after she was rescued. How could Firetooth possibly expect her to do this now? He understood there wasn't time to waste, not if they wanted to save her now, but his heart ached for her. It was Jetfire's choice alone. There was nothing he could do to help here except offer his silent support.
It was only marginally better than giving her nothing at all.
He squeezed her paw as she spoke, to remind her that he was here with her, and waited for the medicine cat to answer.
