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His stomach roiled at the announcement and he dug his claws into the ground, fruitlessly fighting against the way his legs had begun to shake. Of all the cats to make deputy, it had to be her? He hadn't expected to be chosen, he was too young and inexperienced, but... well... why couldn't it be him? He was the one signing up for every patrol, hunting from dawn to dusk to feed his clan, fighting foxes, and going on secret missions to rescue the clans' stolen kits. She had been there for some of that, the pair were almost inseparable sometimes and not by their own choice, but he couldn't fathom why she was chosen over him.
Sure, she was a good warrior; if he was honest, she was strong and quick as he was, and he couldn't deny she loved her clan. He liked her ferocity, how she'd never let him push her around, and always did what was best for them, even if put her in danger like with the fox, but that didn't make her deputy material. He was the one always giving orders on those trips, he was the one deciding when to face the danger and when to flee, not her. She was condescending and emotional and soft. She couldn't be a deputy, the clan would laugh in her face and push her around. He could respect her and still think that she was a bad choice, he knew he was right, and he had to protect her from the humiliation soon to follow. For all their sakes.
His expression hardened as he made his decision, his jaw clenching as he spun and stalked to the leader's den, brusquely pushing his way inside without waiting for an invitation. "Ratstar," he snarled, his chin lifted defiantly high. He licked his lips, taking a steadily breath to cool his temper a little, and stiffly bowed his head in acknowledgment to his superior. "Ratstar sir, I need a moment to talk to you," he tried again, his speech slow and careful.
It had been a long day, a long moon, but for the first time in quite a while Ratstar felt a weight being lifted off of his shoulders. Although it pained him to let Lemonspeckle, one of his closest friends in Summerclan, step down, it was the former Deputy's own decision to do so and he had to accept that. Now he was just relieved that clan had so wholeheartedly accepted his choice for the new Deputy: Dawnmemories. In hindsight, the leader wasn't sure how he could've chosen any other cat for the position; she was perfect for the role, even if she couldn't see it herself just yet. The russet-furred she-cat was loyal, level-headed, and an exceptionally hard worker who always went above and beyond what was required of her. The only reason he hadn't really noticed her until now was because she was humble enough not to ask for special recognition. A natural and perfect fit for Summerclan, and a pick that everyone approved of...or at least he thought.
The tabby tom had just gotten comfortable in his nest within the old beech tree; flopped over on his side on his bed of soft rabbit down and feathers, tail curled up around his back feet with his head facing the entrance, where the warm rays of Newleaf were filtering in through the brambles. The leader had just begun to close his eye and take a moment to relax when he heard the sound of Sootstep's voice, the warrior's paws pounding loudly on the earth as he barged into the den relatively unannounced. "Yeah sure, come right on in," Ratstar replied in mild annoyance, sighing as he heaved himself up to a sitting position, taking a moment to get comfy before regarding the younger tom with curiosity. "What can I help ya with, Sootstep?"
He had worked out the words in his head during the hours he waited for the leader to return to his den, but they were slipping out of his grasp now. He stepped forward to face the leader, level and calm despite the fury blazing in his eyes. "Ratstar, I'm a little confused, and I'd like you to explain your reasoning as best as you can. I know you chose Dawnmemories," his voice shook a little as he held her name, "as deputy, but you didn't even name me to the Redguard. I'm just as qualified as she is, though. Maybe more qualified. She's a little... temperamental," he chose carefully, "and I don't know if she's ready for this. But even if she is... that just means I am too. More than ready."
Oh. Well this was certainly unexpected. Ratstar couldn't help but feel a bit taken aback at the young tom's request; he had been under the impression that Dawnmemories' promotion was unanimously approved of by the clan, or at least a good compromise for the older warriors who had yet to fully accept the leader. He tilted his head to the side in mild confusion. Did Sootstep have legitimate concerns about his choice of Deputy, noting that the two had basically grown up together, or was he just jealous? Then the warrior began talking about the Redguard and qualifications, and Ratstar was starting to get the impression that this conversation was less about Dawnmemories herself, and more about unrewarded ambition.
"Your skills and ability as a warrior have never been called into question, Sootstep," he finally answered, his tone stern from his growing annoyance at the tom's attitude. "However, far more than that went into my consideration for Deputy. Dawnmemories is a strong, loyal, capable warrior as much as any other, but she's also honest, level-headed, a quick-thinker, and humble. My choice was wholeheartedly agreed upon by both the elders and senior warriors, as well as Graythorn, so I see no reason to second-guess my decision. As for the Redguard, that wasn't entirely my pick. Mudthistle and Ravenmask had a better understanding of what the position entailed than I did, so I chose based on their recommendations. So if you've got an issue with the Redguard lineup, take it up with them."
"Respectfully," his voice strained as if the words physically hurt him, "I know Dawnmemories better than any cat here. Before you were even a part of this clan, we were growing up together. I knew her as a kitten, and I watched her grow up into the warrior she's become. She is a good cat, and I don't wish to slander her name, but you're making a mistake and I want to help you see it. She is honest and capable, any warrior can see that, but that's just it. In front of everyone she acts like that, but I've seen her in different situations. A few moons ago, we were attacked by some foxes. We escaped them by a hair. And when we faced them, she turned to me to lead the way. Same as when we were tracking down stolen kits. Dawnmemories doesn't like to lead, and she isn't good at giving orders," he tried to explain, "and she's too soft. If someone disagrees with her, she'll argue with them then sulk off instead of resolving the matter properly."
He sat down facing the tom, and his collected exterior was beginning to crack as the tom grew more frustrated. He could try to be articulate about his enemy, but Mudthistle was a different beast entirely. "Are you sure it's wise to rely on those two? I know them better than you too." His claws flexed and his voice grew more heated. "They hate me for no reason. Those two are not serving their clan, Ratstar, they're just bitter and hateful because I worked harder when I was apprentice than they did. They're biased against me! That isn't fair!"
Ratstar's single eye narrowed as the warrior ranted, his body slowly shifting to sit up straight in his nest. The change in demeanor occurred so subtly that Sootstep didn't notice until the leader's lean and scarred frame was looming dangerously over him. "Shut up, Sootstep.." Ratstar ordered, his voice emotionless and cold as ice. "I'll be honest with ya; I let you and your clanmates get away with more than I probably should, because Summerclan welcomed me as family. But I ain't no pushover either, and I ain't gonna put up with baseless slander against one's clanmates. If Mudthistle and Ravenmask don't like ya, that's not my problem. Settle it among yourselves. But you have the audacity to claim that they aren't serving their clan, despite everythin' they've done for Summerclan?"
The tabby's tone dropped into a growl at the last few words as he rose to stand, staring Sootstep down. "You think you can just stride into my den unannounced, and not only denounce my decisions as leader of Summerclan, but the reliability of your own clanmates? Dawnmemories might be inexperienced, but that's the purpose of the position; to teach 'er how ta' be a leader. Because she has potential. She loves and respects her clanmates, no matter who they are; which is far more than I've ever seen from you. Ya think I owe ya somethin'? For what, being a hard-workin' and loyal warrior like you're supposed to do? Ya weren't passed up cause of your skills, Sootstep. It was because of your attitude. No cat's gonna respect somebody who treats 'em like crowfood; that's a fact."
Ears pinned back, teeth bared fiercely as the leader stared him down. The corner of his mouth twisted as he bit back all the words he had to say, some deep part of him still holding respect for the leader even now, perhaps because of this meeting. A grudging part of him admired the steel in Ratstar, though that was buried deep down now. He barely had the restraint to wait for Ratstar to finish speaking, and then he could not wait a second more.
Chin up. Ears flush to his skull. Crown of fur bristling atop his spine. Slow step forward, muzzle an inch away from Ratstar's, stinking breath hot against him. "Baseless slander? You're so trusting of your 'family' you can't see what's in front of you muzzle," he snarled. "Think hard. You said it yourself, I'm hard-working, I'm loyal. I'm fair. I came here to speak to you as an equal, because I thought you cared the slightest bit about your clan, because you've never been this unfair to me before. I suppose I was wrong." His tail lashed.
"You're blind. Those two have had it out for me our entire lives. They've been nothing but cold toward me. Did you really believe their pathetic excuses? They saw I worked hard, they say I can be better than they are, and it filled them with rage. They've turned you against me. They can't stand to be shown up by a cat who can't even see properly!"
Maybe that was too far, too daring to claim they hated him because of his cloudy eye when their own leader was missing his, but Sootstep was angry. He would say whatever it took.
"If you paid attention to the truth, instead of what they told you, you'd know I don't treat everyone like crowfood. I respect my clanmates, and they respect me. We work together well, I'm on the most efficient patrols, because they trust me. Ask anyone, ask Ragingspire, even ask Dawnmemories," he spat, "they'll all tell you the same thing."
Throughout Sootstep's yelling and ranting, despite him basically spitting in the leader's face, Ratstar's expression didn't falter. He coldly stared down the young warrior, standing firm and unmoved by the emotional display in front of him. Sootstep might as well have been screaming at a stone wall. When it finally looked like the tom had run out of steam, the Summerclan leader took a step forward. And then another. Step by step slowly pushing the other cat back, until Sootstep tripped and stumbled, falling onto the grass outside the hollow. At the sudden noise, several cats around camp looked over in surprise, but Ratstar paid them no mind.
Regaining his composure, he kept his voice even as he spoke; "You're on dirtplace duty for the rest of today and all o' tomorrow. Now get out'a my sight, and don't you dare speak to me like that ever again. That's an order from your leader." Not wanting to listen to Sootstep's protests or excuses, Ratstar hopped down with a dismissive wave of his tail and began striding across camp, only stopping to address the closest warrior nearby, which just so happened to be Condorstrike. "Go find Dawnmemories for me, would ya? Tell 'er I'll be in the Elder's Den." As soon as he was sure the senior warrior had understood, the leader continued walking, trying to ignore the growing headache that was pounding in his brain. Dear Starclan, couldn't he just have one peaceful, non-dramatic day?
Ratstar walked away from him. Punished him for being honest, for expressing his concerns, and left. Sootstep was filled with rage and he wanted to scream it throughout the camp, but he didn't, he just sat numbly staring after the disappearing leader, because something strange had happened.
When the leader spoke, he saw someone else. Fluffy white fur, sky eyes, he had never seen the warrior before, yet she stood beside the leader with a look of disappointment that wounded him to his very soul. Sootstep was untouchable, he cared for no one's opinion, he didn't care who he upset, but something about her made him shrink on the inside and silenced the inner voice that told him to fight back. He couldn't explain it, but the shock of seeing her made him suddenly feel very guilty and ashamed of his actions.
Then she was gone, Ratstar with her, and slowly he rose to his paws. Those blue eyes haunted him as he stepped back and shook his head, a rare look of vulnerability crossing his face before he could clear it. He spun around and headed for the camp exit, suddenly needing to flee.
Condorstrike was mildly shocked to be chosen for this important duty but he nodded and turned to look for the deputy.
life is a lot, and I'm sorry for how much it impacts me here
1,453 posts
Post by neverstarstar on Jun 12, 2020 6:30:02 GMT -5
Dawnmemories had carefully avoided Sootstep's eyes when the announcement had been made, despite him being the first cat whose approval she'd wanted to seek. And after the ceremony, when everything felt like a bit too much, she'd excused herself from camp. The new deputy had missed the entire confrontation between Sootstep and Ratstar and so, as she returned to camp with a finch, she nearly ran into Sootstep. Something in his eyes made her heart stop and the red warrior would have rushed over to him if not for the fact that she was now deputy and it was likely he had a problem with that. So, instead, she passed him and cocked her head at him as she did so, inviting him to say something or follow her back into camp as she went.
Once she placed the bird with the other prey Dawnmemories waited, for Sootstep or for an order or for something deputyish to happen.
Ratstar hadn't noticed Dawnmemories entering the camp behind him. He didn't even look back; instead striding purposefully towards the Elder's Den as if he had urgent business there. However, as soon as the tabby tom swerved into the hollow of the broken beech stump, out of sight from the rest of the clan, the leader of Summerclan flopped dramatically onto one of the soft feather nests. Bonefang didn't seem to be there at the moment, though the leader had a good guess that the oldest member of the clan was probably sharing stories of old in the Nursery again. Luckily, the one cat who's company he really needed right now was staring down at him in surprise and amusement. "I take it back," the tom groaned, his voice slightly muffled by his muzzle pressed firmly into the bundle of feathers. "Bein' leader's too much work. I can't seem to please anybody around 'ere. Take over fo' me, Roachpelt."
He was rushing from the camp as Dawnmemories passed him by on his impaired side, and he would have ignored the red blur if it wasn't for the sweet-and-sickly scent that came with her, and an overwhelming feeling of concern and loss. Sootstep stumbled to a halt, panting hard. The strength of his feelings threatened him but he pushed them around as he spun on his paws and chased her into the camp. Terror swept over him at the thought that she was so sick and he had missed it all this time.
But when he skidded to a halt beside her, unceremoniously plunging his muzzle into her neck to take a deep whiff, there was no sickness in her at all. She wasn't sick. Dawnmemories wasn't dying. She was here, she was okay, so why had he felt otherwise? He had been so certain. Sootstep backed up a few paces, his blue eyes wide and lost. "Red-- Dawnmemories," he spit out the name violently, becoming even more distressed that he couldn't even remember the name of his best enemy, "you're okay, right? You're-- yes, of course, you're okay. Sorry." Sootstep blew out a hitched breath. "Um. Congrats on becoming the deputy." He was too hysteric to waste effort trying to sound genuine. The words were empty. "You're an okay warrior. Ratstar chose you."
life is a lot, and I'm sorry for how much it impacts me here
1,453 posts
Post by neverstarstar on Jun 14, 2020 21:23:23 GMT -5
Roachpelt wasn't surprised to see Ratstar looking so worn out, the old tom knew that his friend had the weight of the world on his shoulder. He did, however, feel surprised and pleased that Ratstar seemed to find comfort in his friendship. At least enough to let his guard down around him. The battered old cat heaved himself up from his nest so he could look properly at the younger tom, sympathy and ever-present mirth in his eyes, "it ain't too much work for ya, you just need a break. That's why you got that new cat with ya, uh, Dawnremember or somethin'." omg cleaver ;-; the sick thing, the name, stahhhhpppp Dawnmemories had been shocked by the run in with Sootstep, she'd expected her... rival? to be a little less willing to be around her after the announcement. And his concern for her brought up a surge of protective feelings, mixed with a love so old and intense that she missed him calling her 'Red', "yeah," she managed, running a tail along his side implusively, "I'm, perfectly okay." And then 'congratulations' sunk in and her eyes narrowed, "I'm fine for being an okay warrior. Are you disappointed?" Before her question was asked the poison of her anger leaked out and the words sounded frail and nervous. Like his opinion mattered. Like his disappointment mattered.
"That's apparently the problem," Ratstar mumbled, rolling over onto his side to face the elder. Despite how at home he felt in Summerclan, Roachpelt was still the only cat he could seriously open up to; that was just how far back the two of them went. "One o' the warriors just barged int'a ma den, hollerin' about how Dawnmemories wasn't suitable for the job and questionin' every single decision I've made today! Urrgh, it was enough to make me wanna rake that crow-food spitter over the ears!" He mockingly swiped the air in front of him with his front claws, before dropping his paw in defeat and letting out a tired sigh. "I get I can't please everybody, but just want t' know I'm makin' the right choices 'ere..." His voice trailed off as he lost himself in thought for a moment. When he had been staring down Sootstep, something strange had flashed in the warrior's eyes, for just a moment... "Maybe you're right...perhaps the only way for folks to warm up t' my Deputy pick is to give 'er more responsibilities, let 'er prove herself."
"Disappointed?" His voice was incredulous, but he couldn't say why. Of course, he wasn't disappointed, he was proud, and yet the vast conspiracy unraveling to keep him from the position . . . yes, he was disappointed too, upset he wasn't chosen, and furious. He didn't understand how the two strong opposite feelings could coexist and they made his head hurt. "Like I said. He chose you." Not me. The implied but hung between them. Ratstar chose her, and despite his apparent pride, he couldn't bring himself to say she deserved it more than he did. Staring into her eyes, he could not bring himself to lie.
He shook his head once, twice, like he was trying to snap the neck of a rabbit between his teeth. "I just talked to Ratstar and he told me about the . . . circumstances . . . that made him change his mind about making me a Redguard."
life is a lot, and I'm sorry for how much it impacts me here
1,453 posts
Post by neverstarstar on Jun 22, 2020 16:02:30 GMT -5
Roachpelt snorted, "sounds like a warrior with some bees in his brain, don' let 'im get ta ya. Ratstar, you're the leader, not that cat. Dawnmemories was the cat you chose, now ya got ta stand behind 'er while the others get used ta it. You know?" The old cat had half a mind to claw this warrior for questioning Ratstar, but of course he wouldn't. Ratstar, like Dawnmemories, had had to prove himself and Roachpelt had to watch and support. But not intervene. "I think Dawnmemories needs a chance," he agreed, "maybe more jobs will do tha trick."
Dawnmemories' heart dropped at Sootstep's words. "But he shouldn't have, right?" Her voice was hollow, devoid of anger or conviction or anything really. "You should have been the one, is that it?" But then the other words registers and she raised her head and cocked her head slightly, "what do you mean, circumstances?"
Sootstep shrugged his shoulders a little. Now that his strange experience of reality was temporarily abated, his anger was beginning to flow again. "Maybe, but I never could have been. Turns out Mudthistle warned him against choosing me. Crimsonlife too." He dug his claws into the ground. "They still hate me and they've turned him against me for no good reason. Just because they were too weak when we played as kits."
"Heh. You're right again, Roachie. As always," Ratstar chuckled, finally allowing himself to relax after that whole ordeal. The tom let out a yawn, stretching himself out over the nest. In his stress he nearly forgotten that he was trying to nap before Sootstep interrupted him. He hoped whichever elder this nest belonged to wouldn't mind if he accidentally fell asleep in here later. Apparently his own nest wasn't safe against unwanted visitors. "I asked a warrior to fetch Dawnmemories fo' me. When she gets 'ere, I'll have a chat with 'er about which duties she'd prefer to take over. And I guess I gotta talk t' Mudthistle as well; there's allegedly some beef between her and that bee-brain that's gotta be sorted out, though I have a feeling it's mostly one-sided."
life is a lot, and I'm sorry for how much it impacts me here
1,453 posts
Post by neverstarstar on Jun 24, 2020 5:17:44 GMT -5
Dawnmemories sighed, her entire mood seemed to be souring as they spoke, "Sootstep, maybe he didn't want a deputy that calls other cats weak! I don't think Ratstar would be so easily swayed by any petty disagreement." He was, in her lifetime, the best leader they'd had and she very much refused to believe he would promote her because Mudthistle didn't like Sootstep.
Roachpelt seemed satisfied that he'd helped and nodded, "great place ta start, though I think yer right, bee-brain is the cat here who is making trouble. Don't worry 'bout him. He'll fall in line sooner or later."
Sootstep's lip curled. "I'm being honest. I'm not saying they're weak now, either, just that they were too soft when they were kits. Those two are the ones holding a grudge, not me," he rumbled.
