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Spiritually Duskslayer was like a stump in the ground, he was always right where you would expect him and he made sure to be present in SunClan. So it came off wrong the first few times he wasn't in camp, but didn't appear too off since he had an apprentice now. Of course he wouldn't have as much time as he used to, but then he seemed to make more of a habit of leaving SunClan's camp until soon enough he was gone for a solid two days. The first few times he had been absent from SunClan he had always been the first to volunteer for a dawn patrol or hunt before racing through the Regime tunnels all the way to Renegade Regime HQ where he would hunt the rest of the day. He figured he would just have to keep it up until newleaf where the prey would come back and the Regime would be able to hold their own. He always felt the need to do the right thing, not the easiest route and during this time it was supporting his parents Sean and Shule. But now that his mother had become commander she asked him to stay permanently in the Regime.
His foster mom, Glowstar had begged him not to talk to Littlestar so he promised her he wouldn't, which was a lie since he was standing outside of Littlestar's den... He let out a controlled breath, every part of him pulled him in different directions, he thought he was going to break a part. On weekends he had to go to the league because Glowstar sold his soul in a bet like years ago before he was born. Then he had to support his parents in the Regime or they would literally die of starvation. Then he had to visit DayClan to check in on his brother Cinnamonsavage and somehow he had to live in SunClan. If Glowstar could have not sold his soul and Foxbane have just given him to a nice SunClan couple that both LIVED in SunClan this would all be significantly less weight.
Duskslayer's tail tip twitched as he waited for Littlestar and Bloodyrondo. He looked back over the camp as his heart felt like it was being strangled under the pressure, he didn't want to leave.
"Duskslayer, what's up? Looks like you've seen a ghost." Bloodyrondo entered the den with frown on his face which turned into grin when he noticed his best buddy had come to visit. Littlestar was literally making his life hell with the whole Satinpaw thing and it was nice for Duskslayer to come and see him, maybe console him a bit, give him a pep talk. His friend wasn't particularly fluid in the language of love but they were both surrounded by all kinds of drama neither had any control over. At least, that was what Bloody believed - you know, the part about having control over the drama - and Dusky let him. It was one of the many reasons why they got along so well. The ginger Priest Promised sat down in the entry chamber and motioned for Duskslayer to join him. Bloodyrondo may have incorrectly assumed that the other tom had come here to make him feel better, but he could also sense some unease from him, "Now, I thought we agreed you'd ignore that stupid Regime spirit."
"If it was a spirit I could ignore it, but I want to be straight forward. I have been helping Renegade Regime hunt for prey on their territory because they are starving. I was waiting for them to announce a scout superior so I could feel safe that my family would be able to fend for themselves, but... My mom was promoted, she's commander of the Regime now and she's asked me to stay as a scout in the Regime. I don't wish to leave SunClan and live underground the rest of my life. I just know that I can't keep going back and forth, there are going to be nights I need to stay. I'm requesting to be graced with permission to travel between SunClan and Renegade Regime," He said bowing his head, "I would not ask this if my family were not in a life or death situation."
Loyalty to SunClan came first and he realized that the Regime was taking up more of his time. Before his dedication to SunClan far out weighed his help in Renegade Regime, but he couldn't continue helping his families group without first seeking out permission. He was dangerously close, or had already put his family above SunClan and he knew it was against the code, but he couldn't hold any regret given just how dire the situation was. But his heart ached for his friend, he wanted to be there, but in his mind he knew it was wrong to give up helping his family when the stakes were so much higher for them. He was being a good son, but being a bad friend and knowing that hurt beyond most pains he had ever felt.
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Mar 23, 2020 11:54:34 GMT -5
Littlestar
SunClan High Priestess
The Peace Keeper
"Shouldn't you be asking me that question?" a soft came from the entrance to the High Priestess den as Littlestar arrived. She had overheard the last part of the question, one ear flicked backwards rather annoyed that Duskslayer had went to Bloodyrondo instead of her. She strode forward, placing her bundles of herbs that she had brought back from the ceremony springs into the appropriate places leaving the two toms to talk.
"Bloodyrondo might be my promised, but he doesn't have the authority to grant such a request, though I suppose you are closer to him than to I" she unwrapped the bundles and began taking out the herbs within and gently placing each one into the correct cragg
"There is a way that you can be there with your family without giving up your status in SunClan" she mused, waiting to see if he would take the bait
"Of course," Duskslayer said immediately rising his head, "But, Bloodyrondo's my best friend and even if I can leave by your authority I'm not sure I could go through with it if he said no," Duskslayer confessed. He knew either way he needed and should go, but leaving Bloodyrondo alone more made his stomach twist. It felt like nothing was going to hurt more than to walk away from SunClan, especially being underground all the time. When he was on the surface hunting it was nice because he had the sun high in the sky, but being away from it had always felt a bit haunting when he would go into the tunnels.
"What would that option be?" He asked, not boldly accepting the offer, but inquiring about it.
"You're not serious, are you?" Were the first words about of Bloodyrondo's mouth and he regretted that phrase almost as soon as he had said it. The look in Duskslayer's eyes, his demeanor, his tone of voice, all of it was dead seriously and, besides, when had this tom ever once lied to the Priest Promised? He sat down and looked positively crestfallen. He opened his mouth to reply when he heard Littlestar's voice and instead fell silent while he listened to the two of them talk back and forth. Was this really, seriously happening? He'd lost Satinpaw to Littlestar, Nikkohydrangea to Shadowbard and now Duskslayer to the Regime. For a tom who already had abandonment issues, this was like the nail in the coffin. But he was done crying, done being weak. He sucked it up and replied sternly, "Duskslayer, do what you have to do. I trust that your heart belongs to the Sun God no matter where you go." Wow, that was mature for him. He felt like his heart was breaking all over again but at least he knew with certainty that what he had said was true. It was not much comfort, but it was something, and he clung to it.
(occ: this thread happened before Bloody got his punishment, at least in my head lol)
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Mar 28, 2020 18:45:47 GMT -5
Littlestar
SunClan High Priestess
The Peace Keeper
"I can send you to the regime with my blessing" she replied, flicking one ear at Bloodyrondo still to angry to speak with him directly "It wouldn't be the first time a SunClan cat has gone out to other groups in order to spread the word of the Sun God" she flicked her tail thinking about Strik in particular.
"I can that your heart is clearly conflicted, and the mere fact that you came to speak with us instead of just leaving shows your loyalty to SunClan. I am willing to regret your request, and have you serve as a sunclan ambassador, but it does come with a warning" she paused blinking and looking upward to the sun
"Don't allow this excursion to the regime to change your loyalty or devotion to our God. The Sun God knows what lies within you heart. Don't allow it stray, less you face his wrath"
Duskslayer followed Littlestar's gaze up to the sun and when he looked back at her he had to look to the side, blinking away the blurry splotches in his vision. As he did he could see the shape of a cat walking away from them, the cat that no one, but him could see. He could feel the instinct to agree and leave grasping onto him. His heart longed to be on the surface where he felt protected by the Sun God, but the inner parts of his make up tugged at him to walk dark tunnel paths because it was where he never felt loss. He was a wolf that spent his time acting like he could be a domesticated dog that could serve SunClan, like his fangs wouldn't grow in and his bloodlust wouldn't mature. The older he got the more he questioned if he belonged in SunClan, but now he was very certain he did. If going to the Regime could help tame that monster blood in him while helping his family, than this would be worth it.
"I accept," Duskslayer said as he placed a paw over Bloodyrondo's, "It's not the Sun God that keeps my faith alive. I've always had a strong belief in him, but the code and worshiping him never really mattered deeply to me outside of that I was just supposed to do it. But since having you as a friend and gaining a good leader like Littlestar my faiths stronger than ever. If my devotion did ever stray though... Remember me for who I was and just know that there's still me deep in there and maybe you gotta like shake it out or something." It was pretty specific instructions, but anytime he tried to explain what it meant to be an Eerie Bloodyrondo related it back to Glowstar. When really what it meant were these violent chaotic urges that darkened with every kill. Luckily he had never killed someone before, but he knew if it ever happened no Eerie ever forgot the thirst they felt for more.
"I won't leave right away though, I actually have grown really fond of Unseenlights. I'm being shy about it though, I'm not fond, I really love her and I don't want to leave until I've spoken to her and you too Bloody and probably Spellmania too. I guess a lot of people even if I'm not going away for forever and I'll still be around."
Bloodyrondo let Duskslayer's paw rest against his for a few moments then drew it away quite intentionally. He gave Littlestar a dirty look then stood up and exited the den, his tail low, grazing the stone floor, leaving a little trail in the dust. He just needed time alone to think this over. He didn't want to say something to Duskslayer that he'd regret. It was funny, really, he didn't care if he picked a fight with literally any other cat, but he always wanted to be on favorable terms with this one in particular and knew himself well enough that sticking around long enough would put that in jeopardy. Besides, he could hardly stomach being around Littlestar, let alone in a meeting with her. She wouldn't listen to a word he had to say anyway. His presence was merely a formality at best.
"I will pray for your success, Dusky. You can work out the rest with Littlestar. It's not like I have any pull in this anyway...," He was already on his feet with his back to Littlestar and Duskslayer when he spoke. He glanced behind him before descending from the den and met Duskslayer's eyes directly. Bloodyrondo, usually so assertive, was quick to turn his head away and make a speedy exit. He had intended on taking a nap when he originally had entered his den but now he was wide awake. Unsure what to do with himself, his paws lead him toward the maze, and he slipped in quietly, praying that the Sun God lead him someplace peaceful for just a few moments before he had to return back to this nightmare.
Duskslayer watched Bloodyrondo leave like a dog watching their master walk away. He even lied down on the floor watching him leave, his chin in his arms as the last of his friends coppery tail vanished. He knew it would be hard to go through with this, but the feeling inside was defeating. It took everything to remind himself of every reason why he had no choice, but to leave, that he had to be there for his family, while knowing by doing so he was leaving this family behind. If Littlestar had refused the farthest defiance he would have gone was to return back to the Regime to tell his mom in person that he wasn't able to stay. It was why when she requested him to be an ambassador and spread information he had very little hesitance if any at all to fulfill that obligation. At worse he would be annoying the Regime by pushing conversation of the Sun God forward, but at best someone would actually become interested and a little more educated than they were before. He probably should have a harsh relationship with the Sun God since he had multiple half siblings burned by him in more ways than one, but much like Glowstar he didn't really waste time holding grudges.
"Well don't say that, I'm still an Eerie, you know," He teased, but lacked the playful tone as he found his paws. Pushing himself back up getting back up he stood tall again only because he knew he couldn't lie there forever. Like Glowstar he looked to the Sun God as an idol, never fearing him, but completely fascinated by his power. If the Sun God showed him his wrath it would be... Delightful, nothing short of an honor. "I accept, thank-you Littlestar, I will try to visit as frequently as I can," He said dipping his head to her.
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Apr 9, 2020 21:14:09 GMT -5
"Very well" she dipped her head and turned back to what she had been doing before "Keep me informed, but you have a lot to do before your departure. I won't hold you any longer"
