Warrior Cat Clans 2 (WCC2 aka Classic) is a roleplay site inspired by the Warrior series by Erin Hunter. Whether you are a fan of the books or new to the Warrior cats world, WCC2 offers a diverse environment with over a decade’s worth of lore for you - and your characters - to explore. Join us today and become a part of our ongoing story!
News & Updates
11.06.2022 The site has been transformed into an archive. Thank you for all the memories here!
Here on Classic we understand that sometimes life can get difficult and we struggle. We may need to receive advice, vent, know that we are not alone in our difficult times, or even just have someone listen to what's going on in our lives. In light of these times, we have created the support threads below that are open to all of our members at any time.
strawberrycupid i made the training funkwit to fight thread bc i love them shh ♥️
“Up and at ‘em, stupid.”
Eshek stood over Funk as he slept, roughly prodding him with her forepaw. Weak dawn light was just beginning to filter through the clouds, the morning crisp and grey and lifeless. Technically speaking, she shouldn’t be in the Nemesis’ room uninvited. Technically speaking, she shouldn’t even really be in the main house without an invitation. But, technically speaking, most things about her relationship with Funk shouldn’t be at all, and she half-wished she’d torn his throat out the first time she’d ever spoken to him, so, really, she was doing him a huge favour by just sorta watching him sleep instead of carving him open. How was this insufferable, awful, arrogant tom her boss now? He’d been here, like, a day and already he’d somehow managed to weave himself into quite literally every single aspect of her life. And she hated him for it. She hated him for a lot of things. Mainly this.
He looked kinda cute when he wasn’t being utterly repugnant, though.
With one last shove, Eshek hopped up inelegently onto a windowsill and sat down in a pool of pale yellow light, wrapping her tail tightly around her paws. Her stomach was a little more noticeably round but this wasn’t exactly the kind of place someone could take maternity leave and still expect to have a position to come back to, especially when the position was that of a proxy, and so, soft and gentle and sentimental as it made her feel, she chose not to mention it and snap at anyone who pointed it out. She’d worry about what to do when the kits were born; she expected Funk would be selfish and useless as always, so she pushed aside the gooey part of her that wanted a nice, happy family and resigned herself to raising them alone. “Funk E’tan,” she began, raising her chin and looking down at him. “You are — and I’ll put this as delicately as I can — utterly terrible and the worst cat I have ever met. And it is my duty as proxy to make sure you can defend yourself when the entire world inevitably realises this fact and everyone tries to kill you. Which I, for one, cannot wait for and I’ll turn traitor in just—” She laughed sharply, wheezing for a moment and wiping her paw across her eye. “In a literal heartbeat. It’s gonna be great. Anyway, I’m teaching you to fight, so, y’know, get up or whatever.”
Post by strawberrycupid on Aug 28, 2019 0:46:51 GMT -5
"Tone it down, you're in the... heh heh... the Nemesis' lair." Funk E'tan laughed, stretching out fully on the bed as Eshek finally stopped poking him. It only felt like yesterday he was forced into the League, and now everyone had to listen to him. It was great, and awful. How the coup got stopped early, how suddenly everyone looked at him like he was supposed to magically fill the holes in their hearts. And not with bitter words and hallucinogens, which really what was the point? How Eshek had somehow wormed her slimy self into his heart. In a "I hate you but you're the only person I can stand in this hell hole" kind of hate and love that only felt right in this chaos. where all those intense emotions tore at him but mended him at the same time. He felt stuck in the eye of a tornado, still and empty walking along all the chaos.
But that was here and there and he needed to let it go. So he rolled over and rested his head on his paws, staring up at the ceiling as she talked. He let out a sigh, returning his gaze to her. And the way the light shone in like they were in some garbage romance movie, how it darkened yet illuminated her. Golly gee, the romanticism of I. The op. Ugh, I'm gonna puke. We're moving on.
"Why wait then? Just kill me. Other than dooming the League and having those run around without a father, not much is stopping you." Gesturing at her a bit, he didn't move, inherently lazy and enjoying the one thing he liked from this title, the bed, "Besides, what about them?" His paw didn't move, still pointy square at her stomach. Sure, he was prime dead beat dad material, but he had standards. He watched Soigne and his' kits that were here anyway, least now he had help, "I'd rather you not put them at risk for something like this."
"Tone it down," Eshek mimicked, voice deep and unpleasant as she pulled a stupid face, "you're in the Nemesis' la—shut up, I hate you. And I only don't kill you because—because—" She had her claw pointed at him like she was about to deliver the most scathing insult she'd ever thought of; when she couldn't think up a good excuse, she let out an irritated snort and set her paw back down behind her tail. "Because you're stupid, boom, shut up. Now, we're going, so get up or I'll start screaming. Ready? Okay, here we go." She tipped her head back and started screeching, a non-stop, high-pitched scream that could have shattered glass; she stopped for breath, then, with a little giggle at how funny she was and a grin at Funk, started screeching again, this time unable to keep the genuine smile from her face. She could have made some quip about how an absent father was better than any father at all, but now she was, weirdly, in too good a mood.
Post by strawberrycupid on Aug 30, 2019 21:14:34 GMT -5
"Dang, got me there." Funk smiled, strangely and genuinely soft despite her nails on a chalkboard screaming. Rolling his eyes, he finally stood and hopped off the bed, joints snapping as he hit the floor. She really shouldn't be here, shouldn't be screeching in his ear and giving him a headache, but he wasn't gonna turn away his... mate? kinda mate? girlfriend? do cats know about girlfriends? idk. this thing that he has taken a liking to. let's go with that. He wasn't gonna turn away the only cat he kinda cared for here. So he lightly tapped on her paw.
"Okay. OKAY! LET'S GO THEN." His yell just transformed into a really loud laugh as he returned to his four paws and made towards the door.
Eshek snatched her paw away from his touch, tapping him roughly on the forehead and grinning down at him crookedly. Her screeching cut off abruptly. "Good," she replied, letting out a huge breath and panting a few times to get oxygen back into her brain. "Whoo, dizzy." She let out a breathy, bubbly laugh, swaying unsteadily for a moment and touching her paw to her temple - "head rush!" - before shaking herself out and leaping down lightly onto Funk's back to use him like a step onto the floor. "Honestly, you make everything so difficult," she added, suddenly serious again, landing heavily on the floorboards and throwing a sneering look back at him before disappearing out the door.
"Okay," she continued, leading the way down the winding corridors with that heavy, loping stride of hers. She really had no clue where she was going - this was her first time in this part of the main house, and navigation, and scenting, and really all that kind of stuff had never been her strongest points - but she was stubborn and wasn't going to let him give her orders, even if they were helpful. "Uh, this way." She veered round a corner. "So, first thing's first," she added, to keep herself busy and hopefully distract him from the fact she was more than likely leading them around in circles, "assuming you're a useless wittle baby and don't know how to use your ittle wittle kitten claws for anything but berries like the cutie-pie, cuddle-pot, harmless medicine cat you really are, here's how it goes: claws, fine, teeth, fine, but no tricks, no emotional manipulation, no stupid games, no... no chamomile in the water or whatever, y'know what I mean. No cheating. Ya-huh? That goin' into your head? Real world, fine, fight dirty, but try it on me and I'll kill you." She smiled at him sweetly.
Post by strawberrycupid on Sept 2, 2019 23:28:05 GMT -5
Nothing was ever easy or simple with her. He should really not expect anymore from her, but he still found himself wondering if there would ever be. Then again, he was the one who responded to being used as a footstool by hooking one of his front paws around her's, causing her to stumble just enough so he could press against her to hold her steady. Enough to where he could trip her and catch if she fell. She didn't, rarely did. So really, they were perfect for each other.
"Ah yes, of course, Miss AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." His normal monotone voice was heightened by an overly obnoxious and high pitch yell, like soprano hell was unleashed in his stomach and he had to let it out. And just as quickly as it opened, it closed and he could only let out a wheezy laugh.
As Nemesis, once Shaman, he knew his way around the Main House, but was he gonna help? Heck no. She wouldn't listen anyway. He instead looked around like the old place was somehow new to him, picking up the occasional actually important phrase she said and tuning out all the insults. The carpet had more stains and holes than anything else, and sometimes he stepped in one as they walked.
"Gee, I get it, Ms Henpecker. But just get Lucistic and ask him to spar with me. I'm not using claws or teeth on you like this- and yes, you couldn't hurt me if you tried and if you did i would kill you bull works till they get shaken too much and they all come out tail first. And if you wanted to get rid of them, there are options that don't involve... this." Wow nice dad. Oh well, he wasn't gonna let Eshek's stubborness result in another thing she'd regret. And he already played with fire once and made it out unscathed, but he didn't think he'd get as lucky the second time around, "Besides, you need to take a left here to actually get anywhere this would be reasonable." Announcing this like it was some brilliant idea, he took that next left.
Eshek couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face at Funk's scream; he never raised his voice, even when they were arguing, which was most of the time - a fact that never ceased to drive her insane. She was always trying to get a rise out of him, always trying to get him to lose control and shout at her, and this felt like a small victory. "Careful," she replied with a playful sneer, slamming her side against his and knocking him roughly against the wall as they walked, "might rattle the, like, two brain cells you actually have. Funk E'total moron." She let out a dumb little laugh that ended in a snort. "Comedic genius, you could never. D'you see what I did? E'tani- ah, never mind, my wit is lost on you."
"You couldn't hurt me if you tried and- oh, shut up." At Funk's charming concern for her, she shook her head and turned her head to look at the wall. "First of all, asking Lucistic would be useless - you know how he is about pain; how could you possibly learn anything if your opponent is just letting you win? That's a stupid idea. Second of all, that's not it works and you know it. That's also a stupid comment. Ten points from Funk. Third of all, I, for one, am excited about being a mother, so talk about my kits like that again and I'll rip your tongue out. Actually, I'll do it anyway, c'mere." She leaped on Funk and pinned him to the floorboards, digging one back paw into his stomach and trying to pry open his mouth with her front ones. "Open up, Doctor Eshek's here." Breaking into a grin, she cuffed him around the ear and let him go. "C'mon, funky town." Continuing down the corridor he'd told her to take, she came to the stairs and trotted down them, heading for the front door.
Post by strawberrycupid on Sept 4, 2019 19:25:56 GMT -5
Funk rarely raised his voice, or was ever truly angry. He had a quiet sense of authority that came with most not knowing how to counter him. And all the screaming and tantrums he could throw wouldn't get him anything he wanted, and going quiet and serious made Eshek even angrier. So win-win. Though it resulted in the Nemesis getting shoved around, those few braincells of his rattling. Past him would have freaked, knowing that the only one who'd really taken those was Esh, and they both knew her stomach was proof of that. Ito was different, with far different circumstances than his relationship with the proxy. Though Funk didn't really care, the one thing on his mind was riling her up more. "E'total moron? Come on, that's weak. How about E'tarnal Damnation for us all?" That smirk danced on his lips, and he leaned in before continuing, "but we know your sense of humor isn't very eshcellent."
Ducking away from the inevitable swipe at him, he switched topics, "Okay, that's not the point. When a twoleg fighter trains, they punch this great big ole swinging bag filled with who knows what in order to get stronger. It's the same thing here. You show me the techniques, I practice them on Lucistic, and he gets beat up. We all win. So you're not as -- eshential as you think." Ever a glutton for punishment, he only offered a smile as his puns worsened, "Secondly, I know. But it's hard to tell how they're doing when they're still in there so I'd like to be safe not sorry. Besides, they're my kits too. I don't want anything to happen t--" Really, he didn't say anything for the third thing because he never anticipated Esh would want to be a mother. He figured she'd start showing and immediately begin screaming, like she did with every inconveinience. And she came to him for it rarely, only after she exhausted every other avenue. But he didn't say anything cause she was now trying to shove her paw in his mouth. Which okay, kinda called for. But still, he didn't want them to die, so he had to play the jerk dad doctor. He could only give her a few bats across the face before being let go, rolling his eyes but still following along.
E'tarnal Damnation. Eshcellent. "Shut UP!" Eshek shrieked, trying to swat him over the head and growling when he ducked. "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY AND YOU'RE BANNED FROM ANY MORE PUNS." Brushing her fur back down with her forepaw, she raised her brows in a certain ladylike calm and added, "once you inevitably make me warden because you need someone cleaning up your messes," she hissed the last word, expression momentarily twisting, before once again falling back into poised coolness, "that will be my first order of business. Also that wardens can make laws. Also that everyone has to kick you when they see you, starting now." She kicked him.
Obviously, she didn't actually want to be warden - she hardly even liked the power that came with being proxy - but that was beside the point entirely. When Funk battered her lightly across the face with his harmless kitten paws, she closed her eyes and scrunched her face up, grinning lopsidedly; and, when he started rambling on about twoleg fighters like the complete nerd he was, Eshek tuned him out, yawning and gazing around at the entry hall without much interest. At the mention of Lucistic, she zoned back in, just in time to hear yet another pun; she gritted her teeth, stopping dead for a moment to growl a warning before continuing on.
"Your kits, too?" She stopped again and threw back her head to scream with laughter. It went on for literal minutes. There was really no point to it, since they, y'know, were his kits, but, again, that was beside the point. When she was done, she snapped her mouth shut and continued stalking ahead in silence like it had never happened. "I'll start with the techniques," she growled, loathe to agree with him and do what he said but more loathe to potentially harm her kits. "And if I feel like going on, too bad for you, suck it up." She shouldered her way out the front door and trotted neatly down the steps into the weak, pale sunlight.
Post by strawberrycupid on Sept 5, 2019 0:27:19 GMT -5
"I'm a dad. It's my right." Laughing as he managed to dodge her even without her little training, he stood up straight, "The day you become warden is the day I die or finally get out of here." Even if he seriously offered the position to her, she wouldn't take it. Still seeming to prefer her paper pusher job over anything she enjoyed. It was also no secret Funk wanted to move on from PI, it never was ever since Ma made him Shaman. Though, of course, recently he found himself not so sure. Ugh, damn this she-cat and what she did. At the sound of her laughing, he stopped and stared at her for a second.
"Yeah, last I checked I---uhhh, hey Johnny Rocket, this is Houston speaking. Come back down to earth." He waved his paw in front of her, eventually deciding 'ey screw it' and hooked her cheek with one of his claws briefly. shaking it a bit as she laughed so she sent AHahAHahAHahAH before immediately sprinting off and outside the manor.
Giggling madly despite herself, she rubbed her cheek with her paw for a moment, shaking off a few drops of blood and smearing them on her side, before sprinting after Funk with a dumb grin on her face. She caught up to him easily, even with her slightly chunky tum-tum, and leaped on and over him, once again using him as a step so she could get some height in the air for a moment. She landed neatly and trotted ahead like she’d just been strolling along the whole time. “I spy with my little eye,” she purred, voice as shrill and squawky as ever. “Something beginning with stupid dweeb. Ooh.” She turned just as she was about to slip round a corner of the main house into the dead woods beyond and pointed at Funk. “Alas, tis you.”
Letting out a happy, bubbly laugh, she disappeared around the corner and trotted along until she found a nice, gloomy little clearing in the middle of the brown, shadowy forest. A raven cawed from somewhere nearby. “So,” she began, hopping in place both to warm herself up and because she was excited. “Like we agreed, teeth and claws are fine, don’t be a baby. Attack me. If you think you can manage it. Just pretend I, like… raided that ol’ greenhouse of yours and destroyed all your wittle plants. Or just think about the fact that I’m always gonna be the prettiest cat in the League and you’re always gonna be, like, seventh. Or, I dunno, channel some’a that pent-up kittypet rage, y’know the stuff I mean. Did your housefolk ever make you wear one’a those knitted sweaters?” She wheezed a laugh. “Or–or one’a those–stop distracting me, fight!”
Post by strawberrycupid on Sept 5, 2019 18:00:02 GMT -5
"My back hurts having to carry all the humor in this family. Especially when I have to keep carrying you." He sneered lightly, leaning down and stretching. He let out a sigh, there was no point arguing with her further. He'd just have to patch her up afterwards and avoid her stomach. Standing and finishing the stretch, he trotted after Eshek, praying his old man back didn't give up on him after being jumped on twice. His stance in front of her was tall and limber, glancing around the clearing as she rambled on. Something about actually making him angry, though he wondered if any of those things would have actually provoked him.
"It was crocheted, thanks. No eye swipes by the way. And what happened to techniques?" In a sing song voice, he stepped forward a few steps casually before suddenly charging forward, ducking and shoving his shoulders into her chest and throwing her backwards.
“No eye swipes?” She blew a raspberry that turned into a huge laugh. “Gee, okay, widdle puss-puss kitty cat. Tinkerbell. Gumdrop. Mr. Marshmallow Mittens.” And what happened to techniques? She shouted back, “well, I can’t correct you if I don’t know what level you’re at first, can I—?” The question turned into a shrieking, squealing laugh of glee when he charged into her.
“You’re so cute!” she purred, landing neatly a foot away and stepping out of it into an elegant walk without breaking stride. “Did you get into lil’ kitten fights with those funky pink caps on your claws?” Her voice suddenly turned serious and she sat down with a solemn glower, wrapping her tail around her paws. “You ducked so slow I could see what you were gonna do an hour before you did it. And— ooh, ow,” she winced with a giggly little laugh and rubbed her shoulder with her forepaw. “Your shoulders are bony. A-ha. Wow. Jeez, Funk.”
Serious Eshek took over again. “Your attempt at trying to distract my attention, if that’s what you were even trying to do, wasn’t good enough. You think you’re so suave and impenetrable with your gorgeous eyes and your... your voice... but you’re not. You’re not. Tryna be subtle when you’re in a fight is, like, standing under a flashing beacon that says SUSPICIOUS! Look at my paws, I know you’re gonna try and sweep me off ‘em. Intentionally avoid looking at my paws, I know you’re gonna do the same thing. Look at my paws too hard, you’re obviously gonna aim for somewhere completely different. It’s hopeless. So just fight. Much easier to get the better of your opponent if you just dispense with the fancy duck-and-cover, back-and-forth, wear-‘em-down stuff and just shred ‘em.” She tapped her claws against the earth and tilted her head invitingly.
Post by strawberrycupid on Sept 9, 2019 19:38:26 GMT -5
"I don't know Esh, I think I'm distracting enough for one of us." Funk winked as rolled his shoulder, letting it make a disgusting pop noise, "and can we talk about your chest instead? There's nothing there, guess I shouldn't expect anything." He sighed and stretched it again. She really should just say 'fight me how I want to be fought and also I hate love you'. Fine fine. Just do it, like Shia. But his class was like, an archer, or a rogue idk and of course the brawler wants him to brawl with him. And the kits and the insults and ugh. This wasn't gonna end well, but like all hard pills, he had to swallow it. And deal with the migraine later.
"Fine. Just stop trying to psych me up, it ain't helpin'." Blowing out a sigh, he forced that logical part of his brain to quiet. But it didn't, and all the damn things she said came back. He wasn't sure which made the click, not the sweater leave them alone, but a part finally snapped into place. Fine, it helped, only a bit, like 20%. Head on, okay. Electric flowing through the wires, Funk charged forwards and tackled Eshek, deciding screw it and giving her what she wanted, teeth in her shoulder and claws in her sides.
