So I sat here. Staring at my laptop for a while debating if I should say anything. But then it kinda hit me, the only reason I wouldn't say anything is because of the title I hold and how it somehow seems to make me inhuman. As if my mistakes condemn me. So I sat my pregnant booty in front of a mirror and asked myself, "if you could be raw and honest and the world listened what would you share?"

I am no good at videos, No one wants to hear me talk on a phone lol and I know a lot of times the things I say in my head don't sound the same typed out. So please bare with me and if you feel you want to reply, please read it more than once. As I am not going to name names, state actual situations, or call anyone out. Because this isn't about you. For once I'm thinking about me and choosing not to be the strong background person who has to make a joke to lighten the mood because I hate conflict. The person who doesn't have to raise her arms to defend herself against flaming arrows of accusation and insinuation.

I am human. Just like you. So fleshy and if you cut me I bleed. I am not a robot with a cold metal heart sitting across the world from you in a lab to test teenage and young adult angst.

I am not a savior or a hero. I did not return to this site because of some complex I have to help this site. I did not come here to pull it out of a pit or but the train back on the tracks. That was not my job and that is not mine to take on. My shoulders are small, and frankly it can only hold my own little world. Not an entirely different one too. Granted there is some of this that goes with the title but even under this title I am not here to save the day. I can not snap my fingers and make it all better.

I am not the resource of yesterday's pain. I did not throw that insult that is held close to your heart whose claws seem so determined to remain sunk in. I did not choose that outcome you disagreed with year ago. I did not force that feeling upon you in that instance you don't even remember the details of but still feel the pain like it was yesterday's affliction.

I am not your enemy when I disagree with you. It is not the end of the road when there is a fork instead of a straight away. I don't quit because I can't quite see a field without a weed.

I am an adult still living in my childhood's playground.

I hurt when I am lined up to take the bullets form a firing squad when I don't know my accuser or my crime.

I am human. Just like you.

I had no idea where to put this so I figured general would work.