Kasdeya rested her chin on top of Goldenpaw’s head, returning the purr lightly. She had seen the former youngling’s progress, she had watched her with pride as she grew and blossomed. The deputy knew she was living vicariously through the success of the once-broken kit she had rescued, but it helped her to see her success.

“Let’s head out. The eastern border hasn’t been checked for a day or two, so we’ll start there. One of the warriors mentioned an old fox scent, but it should be cleared out by now.” Kasdeya stood, stretching deeply before moving towards the exit.

Their passage went quickly and in the companionable silence that Kasdeya was used to. She was glad that Goldenpaw didn't always expect her to speak- she wasn't the type, for one, and these days she never knew how to voice what she was really feeling. Her face was calm and composed, until they began to approach the border. The fox scent was back, and not stale like she expected. She came to a stop, turning to Goldenpaw.

"The fox is back. I've been trained to handle it, and you don't have to help, but if you want to head back you can. We may not even run into it." Kasdeya wasn't worried about herself, but she didn't want any harm to befall the she-cat she had come to care so much about.

Kasdeya would that Goldenpaw left, but she had decided long ago never to force the she-cat into doing anything, letting her forge her own path instead of the one Kasdeya wanted her to take. "Alright." The deputy nodded, letting her footsteps fall more quietly as they resumed walking the border.

Eventually the scent seemed to fade, and the tension left Kasdeya's shoulders. She turned to say something once more to her favorite apprentice when the wind shifted, and the fox scent hit hard from the left. A lean red muzzle protruded from the bush, followed by gleaming red-brown eyes. The wily she-cat came to a sharp halt, then moved to put Goldenpaw behind her, keeping her movements slow and controlled. "If it strikes, you have to run," Kasdeya hissed under her breath. With all luck, it wouldn't. Foxes rarely attacked a cat who stood its ground. "Do you understand me?"

“Don’t worry about me, Goldenpaw. I can handle myself.” Despite the tense situation, she turned slightly to give the she-cat a small smile. The creature moved, and Kasdeya snapped back into her fighting posture, her mismatched eyes trained fully on the fox as it shuffled out into the clearing.

Mouse dung. It was clearly sick, with wild eyes and a faint trace of foam at the mouth. That made it far less predictable. A few seconds that stretched into eternity dragged by, and the fox snapped, lunging forward. Kasdeya knocked aside its muzzle with the ease that came from years of fighting. “Goldenpaw, you need to run.” She swiped aside another bite. “Now!”

Kasdeya parried a few more blows- she made it look like light work- before dealing her own damage, tearing a solid chunk from the fox’s right shoulder. It wasn’t until she glanced behind her that she saw that Goldenpaw hadn’t left. “GO!” She told her, and it did, in truth, look like a fight she could handle. “At least-“ she blocked another lunge and slashed her claws across one of its eyes- “move to the bushes so I don’t hurt you.”

Kasdeya felt panic twist her gut into a knot, and she kicked off the tight-packed dirt to intercept the sick predator. Without hesitation she threw herself between Goldenpaw and the looming canines of the fox, letting out a strangled yelp as the teeth made contact. There was no time to react defensively, to do anything other than take the blow. She threw her weight back and away, rearing up to deal twin blows across the creature’s eyes, rendering it blind.

It finally stumbled back and away, spitting as it swung its head back and forth. Without its vision, the fox lost its bravado and slunk back across the border. Kasdeya stood facing away from Goldenpaw, breathing heavily for a moment. She seemed fine, until she turned around.

Crimson blood stained the thick white fur of her chest, plastering it down and tinting the air with the scent of iron. It pumped steadily out of the gash that ran diagonal across her chest and neck, and had opened the major artery below her chin. She blinked once, twice, then crumpled to the ground, eyes fluttering shut.

Kasdeya coughed violently, blood spilling over her lips and onto the ground. There was so much she wanted to say to Goldenpaw, so much that she couldn’t get past her last wheezing breaths. The wound was fatal, sucking away at both of her lives at a speed that alarmed her. So she settled for what she could say.

“You were my peace,” the words were slightly gargled, but still audible. “A bit of peace among the pain. I love you.” Words she had never uttered before, escaping in the vulnerability of her final moments. She pressed her nose to Goldenpaw’s cheek, shaking with the effort, before she laid her head back down, going still.

She had never been one for elaborate speeches anyway.

(would you like to do a time skip, and kasdeya can visit Goldenpaw in a dream? cx)

(i invited faith (hey speak of the angel) to this thread so we could rp out Goldenpaw and Glowstar interacting after Kasdeya's death, but I can make another thread for the dream if you'd like)

Goldenpaw almost felt relief when Glowstar appeared. She was sort of an enigma, but now she was probably the closest thing Goldenpaw had to a mother figure in this world. That brief emotion was nice, but it was suddenly being swept away as Glowstar pulled her away from Kasdeya. Panic set in fast like a flood, and she struggled against the leader, though it was all in vain. All at once, all those emotions she managed to suppress had made their way back to the surface. Unable to stop shaking, or fighting, or crying out, "NO! Wait, please! Kas, I'm sorry!" 

It felt like forever, but it was only a few seconds. She couldn't process suddenly being let go, and then being checked over for injuries. No, she was a mess, any attempts at pulling herself back together would only unravel her more. So she cried, harder than she ever had in her life. For grief, pain, anger, frustration, self-hatred. It was an ugly cry, but it was all she could do.

"Border... Fox... I didn't... listen... and I tripped and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." She fell down at Glowstar's paws, the strength to stand gone. She wanted her back. She wanted her back. It... should have been her. She should be dead. She wanted to be dead. She dug her claws into her own ears.