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Crimsonrose departed, sparing a glance back, then she took off quickly before her daughter could get up to give chase.
Mysterypaw watched her mother disappear into a dark crimson speck in the distance, green eyes watering, and her body shaking. Emotions rolling through her. Loss, fear, confusion, anger, hurt. Part of her wanted to get up and run after her mother begging her not to leave her. Part of her wanted to start shrieking and throw a fit. Part of her wanted to leap at Glowstar and just fight. Fight something.
Her claws unsheathed and she dug them into the ground, the shaking worsening as sounds started to escape from her, first her breathing in ragged pants. Rage building.
What had she done to deserve this?! Was it because she'd been too sad about wolfpaw's death? Was it because she hadn't been strong enough to fight off the possessed warrior who nearly took her life? Was it because she'd taken too long to come back after the Dark Forest cats tried to kill off her and a few other apprentices?
She wanted to scream, rage, fight! Her mother said she was a fighter! She needed to fight.
She opened her mouth, but all that came out was a keening wail.
She turned into Glowstar and just, broke down.
She'd fought so hard to deny the pain when Wolfpaw plummeted to his death and she could only watch. She'd fought so hard to deny the fear that had gripped her heart after nearly dying. She'd fought so hard to try and claw back normalcy after everything to keep up the appearance of the Mysterypaw she knew her mother wanted her to be, but the pain, the fear, and the weakness had clearly infected her to the point where now her mother didn't want her.
"I'm not weak!" She cried pulling back after she'd sobbed into the DayClan's leader fur for a few seconds. "I'm not!" She turned and took a few steps away ears flat body shaking. "I can handle being by myself!" The shaking wouldn't stop. "I won't have to feel so bad if someone dies again!" She cried, even though it was followed by a sob, because the image of Wolfpaw alive and well, then followed by the image of him trying to climb so high, too high, for nothing. All for nothing. Then he fell down, down. Too far down.
She hadn't gone to Crimsonrose, she'd turned to aggression. Thought she'd use it to fuel her fighting, but it had lingered, stalked her like a shadow waiting for her to turn around and be swallowed up by it again.
Now her mother was leaving her.
"I don't need you anymore!" She shrieked turning in the direction her mother had gone, "I don't want you anymore anyways! GO OFF AN DO WHATEVER YOU STUPID MEAN DUMB DOO DOO BRAIN!" She shrieked. But Crimsonrose was long gone and she was alone with DayClan cats staring at her as she shook and broke down as she realized she'd just lost her mother. And she didn't understand.
Buttercupkit took a step back, surprised by the outburst. Windchaser wrapped her tail protectively over her daughter, afraid Mysterypaw would lash out.
While Mysterypaw was having her breakdown, Illuminatedpath hearing the shriek and the noise poked his head out of the warriors den and went over to Windchaser concerned. "What's going on?" He noticed the black she cat having a fit and frowned, she seemed to be shouting off at something, or someone he supposed. In the distance. But he'd never seen her before. "And who's that?" Seeing Buttercupkit startled he bent down and gave his daughter a friendly lick to help make her feel a little better.
Buttercupkit felt better having both her parents there. She purred when her father licked her.
Windchaser nuzzled her mate and then frowned. "This is Crimsonrose's daughter, Mysterypaw. She brought her here to protect her." She pulled Buttercupkit closer to her, worried. Now that she saw Mysterypaw act out like that, she was even more terrified for her kits. She felt bad for Mysterypaw but the way she shook with outrage worried Windchaser to the core. She worried about her family and the danger they could now be in.
Lilackit padded over to her sisters side, her nose high trying to avoid the new stench that found its way into their territory, "That's a fancy long about way for calling her a stain, mother. I hope she's long since been a warrior by the time I'm an apprentice. Spiderkit and I don't trust outsiders to join our club."
Glowstar stared off into the blank space where Crimsonrose had been, she was right. Kits never did learn to fend for themselves next to their mothers. Senescence and Lucistic were powerful because they had been unfairly kidnapped from her when they were kits, but came back stronger. Could Red and Marceline say the same from their graves? Red was too much like his father, savage, merciless, she protected him so he never learned to keep it to himself. Marceline was outgoing and while lethal, she wasn't strong enough to stop her execution and because she always had her by her side she never learned to pick fights she could win. If there was a reality out there where Red and Marceline would grow up to live happy lives, but be absent of her than she would choose it. Crimsonrose did sacrificed the most valuable thing the world gave very few, time. Missed time with her daughter she'd never get back, the most honorable sacrifice a parent could give, distance knowing they'd perform better for it.
Glowstar walked over to Mysterypaw and gingerly pushed the apprentice closer to her, "Everything will work out... She won't be gone forever, I'm sure."
Mysterypaw looked at her, breathing heavily after shouting after Crimsonrose. Trying to cling onto her rage. But it was fading fast, and she slumped, ears drooping.
Her mother was out of sight now, gone like a mirage. Now Mysterypaw had to accept this was her lot now. No longer was she the mighty Crimsonrose’s daughter like she’d been in WinterClan. Catching some of the nasty looks from Windchaser’s family, made the black she cat fluff up her fur trying to appear bigger. She wasn’t cowed by such comments, she’d show them.
“I guess.” She muttered to Glowstar turning to the leader. Mother had recognized her as a strong fighter, so the leader deserved respect, and after the looks she was receiving from some of the DayClan cats prompted her to try to compose herself. The anger returned, they didn’t get to snub her when she was down, she was stronger than she looked and they’d all regret doubting her.
“My apologies for my outburst Glowstar, I was feeling overwhelmed. Now, I wish to follow my mother’s wishes and commence my training and time serving in DayClan.” The first words were forced out through trained politeness and discipline of WinterClan, though as she finally bottled up the swirling emotions they became more smooth they almost sounded natural. But the angry gleam in her green eyes hinted at the fires stoked in the swirling depths.
////
Illuminatedpath frowned, “Now Lilackit, you can’t call outsiders stains, everyone’s an outsider at some point. In one way shape or form.” He said, “Come now, that’s what makes DayClan the best and the strongest that we pull from different places. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious when you have something to protect, but hatred and fear begets more of the same, don’t forget that.” He said looking between both Buttercupkit and Lilackit, “Love And tolerance is what a society must be built on.”
Though he definitely could tell the black she cat was not a soft cat, there was a lot going on there and until they familiarized themselves with her, there was nothing wrong with being cautious. At least till she was settled in.
Windchaser was suprised at her daughter's rudeness but there was a hint of amusement in her green eyes. Lilackit sounded like her when she was her age. Before she could say anything, Illuminatedpath and scolded her gently with words of wisdom. He always seemed to know what to say. He would make a good leader some day if he put himself to it. She admired him for all that he is. She loved him with all of her heart.
---
Buttercupkit also took in what her father said but the small golden she-kit was already friendly. She never saw outsiders the way others did. She was almost the exact opposite of her mother. She was more like her father in more ways than Windchaser could count. Buttercupkit represented Dayclan's true nature. She was so down-to-earth and bright, welcoming in others so easily despite their bloodline. Windcaser wondered if she woud ever stay that way. Buttercupkit padded slowly back to the new-comer, her eyes wide with curiosity. Honestly, she was afraid of another outburst from Mysterypaw but she crept with caution. "H-hi Mysterypaw...m-my names Buttercupkit" she tried again to introduce herself.
Mysterypaw turned towards Buttercupkit, her expression frozen and stiff. She considered the young she cat. Earlier before her breakdown she'd noticed the kit come up to her, but her emotions had swept her up and she'd no longer noticed anything until she had taken the edge out of the rage and hurt.
Unwilling to drop the forced mask of calm, she gave a tight nod. "Hello," She replied. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Her voice though was stiff. She had not processed everything and had done the equivalent of shoving it into a hole and moving a rock over the hole, trying to keep her emotions down by sheer force of will.
It was already clear her emotions were not welcome, she needed to keep them down until Glowstar dismissed her and she could go find a tree to shred. Clawing up a tree always worked, she'd scored one tree near the gorge in WinterClan so much the bark was almost gone from one section. Or maybe rather than keep her emotions in a hole she'd dig a hole, throw herself in, shove her face into the dirt and scream.
Post by aberrantfox on Jul 26, 2019 19:48:39 GMT -5
Aspidistraleaf had been listening intently but her train of thought cut off as Mysterypaw had darted to her mothers defense. Aspidistraleaf had ran after her but not soon enough to avoid the confrontation. Yet it seemed, as the moment passed, it was necessary. Aspidistraleaf, being a cat of higher moral was astonished by Windchaser's hostility. Mysterypaw seemed no more than just out of kithood. What had ever happened to caring for those less than yourself who could barely fend for themselves. Nonetheless she was pleased to hear Glowstar accept Mysterypaw into the clan.
Aspidistraleaf dipped her head to Crimsonrose. "Tell Leatherfern hello for me please." she meowed softly.
Fallclan leader, nightclan MCA and a clumsy disaster xD
838 posts
Post by Spiderheart on Jul 27, 2019 1:50:42 GMT -5
Quietpaw had been in the emissaries den when Glowstar had entered to retrieve a feather, not long after she heard the wails and yelling of a strange voice in the clearing and then silence she poked her head out to make sure everything was okay and saw a small group of cats around a black she-cat she did not know. The apprentice was shaking uncontrollably and she guessed that's who had been making all the noise, slowly Quietpaw stepped out of the den and made her way to her leaders side. "Glowstar, I know it's not my place but it may be good to give her a little space, so many cats in a new place while she is upset is a bit overwhelming." She spoke so only Glowstar could here her voice quiet as she gently eyed the surrounding cats and then let her gaze rest on Mysterypaw.
"I'm perfectly fine, thank you." Mysterypaw ground out, the fake smile now looking more like gritted teeth. "Though I would appreciate shifting to either some training, or a tour of the lands, I have not traveled through DayClan before." She admitted, it would be constructive and she could possibly find a place that had a hole she could go scream into... or a good place to go dig one out and do that.
///----////
Before Crimsonrose had departed she gave Aspidistraleaf a nod.
///---///
Illuminatedpath watched with an unreadable expression, unsure how to feel or how to proceed. Quietpaw had a point it was clear the newcomer was distressed, but he also didn't want the newcomer to think they truly weren't willing to give the distressed cat a chance and would only judge her based on this clearly very emotionally charged moment.
Plus he was wary she might lash out if pressed further so he instead guided Buttercupkit close for now.
