Warrior Cat Clans 2 (WCC2 aka Classic) is a roleplay site inspired by the Warrior series by Erin Hunter. Whether you are a fan of the books or new to the Warrior cats world, WCC2 offers a diverse environment with over a decade’s worth of lore for you - and your characters - to explore. Join us today and become a part of our ongoing story!
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Here on Classic we understand that sometimes life can get difficult and we struggle. We may need to receive advice, vent, know that we are not alone in our difficult times, or even just have someone listen to what's going on in our lives. In light of these times, we have created the support threads below that are open to all of our members at any time.
I know a lot of people won't relate will this, and I know this is sort of a 'niche' issue. But the anniversary of my mothers death is coming up and this year it's perhaps hitting me a little harder. My dad just started cleaning out my mothers wardrobe and it's been awhile since she passed away. He gave me some of her clothes and started crying while doing so. I didn't really know what to do to comfort him either. My dad lost his second wife when my mother died. His first passing away from cancer. He's gotten much better but I know he still has trouble sleeping even all this time later. He an my mother spent all their free time together and I still catch him listening to their favorite songs and drinking expensive bourbon.
I think this is what is bringing me down more so than usual this year. That and I recently learned that my younger sister, who watched our mother died, was diagnosed with ptsd. I mean she's been diagnosed with it for awhile but only recently did she share that with me as she really dislikes speaking about our mother. Her and our mother were amazingly close, Christina was the one who watched her die. And it drove her into a self-destructive spiral and fostered a resentment towards our father. Because in his grief after her death he was not what one might consider a good parent. And she was a young girl in need of something and found nothing. I don't know I feel bad about how we let her down years later.
Christina keeps telling me to see a therapist, her own therapist reached out to me to offer to see me during christina's session. I joke that I'm fine but I mean, everyone around me knows I'm not really fine. My mothers death affected me in small ways, I have a hard time caring about things. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of expressing love or care, and shy away when someone says 'i love you'. I have never visited my mothers grave after the funeral despite every anniversary saying that this will be the year I go. I just want to leave flowers because I know it upsets my dad that he's the only one that visits her grave.
There are a lot of things I still feel bad about with how I acted after my mothers death. I still feel guilty for lying to my younger siblings and telling them that our mom was going to be fine, even though by that time I had already gotten the call she was dead. I was too cowardly to break the news to them, and fled the moment my dad and older sister came home to do so. I cried more when my dogs did when my mom did. I don't know things have been rough in my head recently.
Sorry just wanted to type this out. And while I'd normally do it in a google doc. I wanted to post this public for some cathartic reason.
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POSTEDJun 9, 2019 21:34:48 GMT -5 TO General Discussion
I completely understand how you feel. My mom passed away a month and 9 days ago. It doesn't get easier, and I feel like it will only get harder once her second month anniversary comes up. My sister has endless guilt about her death, especially since she hardly visited. My dad cries about it everyday. I have nightmares about her death because since she was on hospice I essentially watched her wither away into nothing. It was terrible.
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POSTEDJun 9, 2019 21:43:37 GMT -5 TO General Discussion
I will squish your face and love you forever. I will come and make you ramen in bed. Your guinea pigs will have to hug you for me. I love you and your mom was a sweetheart. I appreciated how nice she was to me when I came down and how understanding she was with me when I mentioned there was no mom. I know at the time I wasn't there for you as much as I should have been. And that's another failing on my side. As I said I feel uncomfortable with emotion and I was worried about having to confront old forgotten feelings about my moms death when helping you through yours. Woodrow and I still have a card for you and one for you dad/sister that was never sent. But it does get easier, though I won't lie and tell you it doesn't take a long time. The dreams will continue for years probably, I know after my moms death I had dreams about her coming back to life only to wake up and take a moment to remember she was really gone. You'll hear her voice for months afterwards, and at times you'll want to tell her something and have to remind yourself she's not there for you to tell.
My sister sobbed when she had Antonella because my mother loved loved children and she never got to me Karen's kids. And that's another thing that hurts. You'll go through life and remember the things she won't see you do. And that might hit you hard, I know it's something Karen and Rachel struggle with. But that doesn't negate the fact if she was there she would be proud and you've still accomplished something. There is so much more I want to say but I don't want to go on forever. ❤️
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POSTEDJun 9, 2019 21:56:04 GMT -5 TO General Discussion
I sometimes forget that she's not around anymore too. I find myself still sneaking down the stairs as not to wake her while I grab a snack at 1am, only to peek in on her room and see that all her belongings are gone. I think one of the hardest things was the fact she died before my graduation. She kept telling my entire family that she was only trying to stay alive to see my graduation. She was too sick to go to my high school graduation, so she was determined to come to my college graduation, and if she couldn't make it she planned to at least watch it on tv. She went downhill so fast though. She was only on hospice for a few days and watching her wither away was so upsetting. The day she died I had gone upstairs because she was making this gargling noise. I couldn't sleep so I gave her medicine one final time and went upstairs to sleep. I still regret leaving her.
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POSTEDJun 9, 2019 22:23:48 GMT -5 TO General Discussion
We should start a support group or thread for dealing with loss. There's a support group for just about everything, and while I hope no one needs to use it I think perhaps it will be a nice thing to have. Just a place to put these thoughts and the sort of things you feel when dealing with this sort of thing. So when you think you have heard your moms voice only to remember that's impossible, or watch and old video with her there is a place for your to voice what you're feeling.
It helps to put it into words.
And your mom knew you loved her, and I'm sure she maybe liked you weren't there. I can't claim to know for sure, but I think she would have wanted you to have last seen her in a better light than what might have been in her last moments. I hope that doesn't sound wrong. But I am honestly glad I didn't see my mom in her last moments, I scarred Christina so bad and I just. In the months after I think it was easier for me to remember how she was that morning rather than how she probably was in her last moments.
Edited Jun 9, 2019 22:26:13 GMT -5 By Deleted
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POSTEDJun 12, 2019 0:54:33 GMT -5 TO General Discussion
My step mom passed away a year and half ago, I knew she was sick but, I didn't know it was as serious as it was because, the last few months we didn't really talk as much as we should of. The last time we spoke was me off highhandedly complaining about how the laundry soap she used on my clothes attracted ants. I still regret that. I ended up moving to be closer to my dad and little siblings for awhile and it really sucks cause, She wasn't there to see my sister start preschool and my little brother is so young so he might not even remember her. My dad is okay most days but he's still not over it. I'm mostly fine except for days like today when I know her birthday is coming up on Saturday or, when her favorite song comes on the radio.
I know I don't know you both very well but, I'll still be here for support if you need it. Everyone grieves differently and sometimes it hits harder than others.
