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Post by Honeystorm on Mar 16, 2019 14:00:59 GMT -5
She was back.
Many moons later, and she was back. And yet, unbeknownst to her, everything had changed. She simply hadn't been given the opportunity to hear about it.
What happened exactly, Shule still didn't have the whole picture. One minute, she was taking a walk to breath, and the next, she was seemingly halfway around the world, stuck in a little cage who knew where, with rogues talking among themselves about their payment for this little plot. Yet, the cats who had taken her were infinitely stupid, and when she'd complained about having to make dirt, they'd let her out without a second thought, which was a rather grave mistake, in retrospect. They'd gotten the drop on her last time, likely tainted their claws with something to make her go down easy, but this time, they were unprepared. Shule was a Sentinel at heart, one of the strongest cats the Regime knew, and half her captors were dead before they realized exactly what was going on. In addition to her natural strength and proud lineage, after all, she had been a new mother, and nothing, nothing, was going to keep her from her kits. She'd kept a few alive, two crammed into that abysmal cage, and one to get answers from. He had sung in a heartbeat, faced with his own demise. They had been paid for her capture, and handsomely too. Who sent them, he didn't know, because naturally, he was low on the totem pole as far as things went, and didn't know much at all. Unfortunately, that had been where her information ended. The tom had given her a location of a headquarters, and though for a few days, she tried to investigate and get answers to where she was, there were none to be had. Whoever had orchestrated this, the top cats of this rogue group, had made themselves scarce the moment they heard the fighting break out.
This left her on her own. With no knowledge of proper hunting techniques, let alone any idea where she was. If either of these had not been the case, or if it had been greenleaf, instead of leaffall and leafbare, things might have progressed much more quickly, but as it was, it had taken her more than half the time just to keep herself alive and find her bearings. From then on, she'd followed rumors wherever she found them of where the clans were. She spoke with the rogues, with the kittypets and the gangs, had made her way through bitter cold and nights without prey or shelter, to make it back to her kits.
By the time she found the tunnels again, half a year later, she was almost unrecognizable. Her ebony fur had lost it's unearthly shine that the tunnels brought, and her paws were dirty and gray, crystalline gaze harder and colder than ever. Her frame was muscular, but thinner than it ought to be, with different portions of her body more toned than they used to be thanks to all the hunting practice. She walked the tunnels like a predator, her paws as silent as the Scouts, step as gentle as a Guider's touch, hope flickering like a Raiser's heart behind her harsh blue eyes.
She would see Slawn, Roon, Mars, Diana, Venus, Apollo, Sean, and her kits and step-kits again.
His hamster, or Snowy as he was calling her, but wasn't recognizing the hamster as a her, was guzzling down a worm she had found. Sean had only eaten insects as a kit during his imprisonment, but that hamster was really enjoying them. One thing was for sure, he didn't admit it to anyone, but eating bugs honestly wasn't that bad tasting and sometimes he craved a big beetle, but who would want to be around him if he admitted that? He watched the hamster for a moment before suddenly there were a set of paw prints he hadn't seen before entering his vision. He looked up, then sat up. She looked so much like her and yet not at the same time. He could pick apart the pieces that didn't match, but then even if he did he could only see her. Shule. His everything.
He lifted a careful paw before pressing it numbly back to his side. If he didn't touch her, if they just talked and if she happened to vanish he could always believe it was her. Even if it never was. Even if he was dreaming right now. If he reached out to touch her face and his hand went right through, if this was all his imagination he'd lose it... But he owed Shule too much to behave like a coward. He reached out his paw and this time put his paw over hers and his eyes lit up with life. Not half way or some remnant of happiness he once felt, but it was real, raw. He could feel a weight on his heart lift and then float because this was her and she was there. He found himself speechless, he didn't say anything. Not when his paws moved back and forth over hers and not when he found himself immediately nuzzling into her neck. Words couldn't do enough justice to how magnetically destined it felt to feel himself against Shule's fur again and breathe in her scent no matter how strange and foreign it was now because it was her.
Post by Honeystorm on Mar 18, 2019 14:27:19 GMT -5
She heard him before she saw him, his familiar scent wreathing around her as he came into her sight. He hadn't changed one bit, not really. Still, Shule couldn't bring herself to take the few steps forward and reach him. She stood there, watching him, staring as the emotions flickered across his face, frozen as though she were struck by a curse that made it impossible for her to move. And then his paw touched hers, and it felt like lightning shot up her leg and throughout her body, an electrifying feeling that shattered the spell and made her vision go blurry.
Tears clouded the she-cat's eyes as she leaned into his touch, a broken purr escaping her throat as she started sobbing in his embrace. Half a year's worth of suppressed emotions, moving one purely for the hope of seeing him and their kits one more time. Somewhere in her soul, she'd doubted she'd ever get to experience this moment again, and the reality was completely overwhelming. The usually stoic and cold feline couldn't hold herself together anymore, and she didn't try, either. He was here, he was real, and that was all she could have asked for. If the worst happened, and she didn't live to see another day after today, that would be okay, because she got to see her home, and those she loved, one last time.
"Sean." She whispered hoarsely, words thick with the tears that soaked into his fur, "I've missed you so much." The words were so inadequate, couldn't convey just how right it felt to be at his side once more, couldn't express even a fraction of how much she had actually missed him and his antics. Nothing, nothing, could stop the swell of emotion that surfaced in this very moment.
He could feel the eerie guilt he knew he would feel in this moment. If she ever came back. The guilt of having fun without her, of moving on when she was somewhere suffering or gone. Had he missed her everyday? There were days he hadn't even given her a single thought and then there days where all he did was think about her almost to make up for those moments. At this point, he was a professional at grieving, it felt less real every time he lost someone and more like going through the motions. And seeing how she missed him more than he allowed himself to miss her hurt. Because she'd never know how traitorously unemotional he forced himself to feel. There was too little time that had passed since grieving for his kits, then her, then the kits he forced himself to part with.
Because at the end of the day it was his pity party that made him lose his fourth litter. Not any act of violence, unnatural disaster, or plague. No one in this entire Regime had lost as much as he had. He knew she was going to ask. Holding her close he could almost count down the moments when she'd whisper in his ear where their kits were. What ranks they had chosen. What they were doing. The questions he wondered too. She would never understand because he didn't let her in. He didn't tell her he had nightmares every night after killing Kenya. He never told her how trapped and utterly depressed he felt realizing he didn't love Abiliana, losing Brizo, and the pressures he felt as commander. There was a depression inside of him and everyday he fought against it. But losing his kits to Kotori and then Shule's disappearance, he didn't and couldn't take care of the kits.
"My neck was beginning to really hurt, every time I heard a sound I kept turning around think it was you," He said with what was meant to be a laugh, but came out as a sob.
He pressed closer into Shule, he didn't want to cry, not when she had been strong for so long, now it was his turn.
Post by Honeystorm on Mar 19, 2019 14:32:29 GMT -5
In so many ways, Shule felt as though she didn't know Sean. Even so, she knew he never seemed to think himself good enough for, had seen him alone when he didn't think she was watching. To see how he'd reacted in her absence, wouldn't have really surprised her, not really. She'd seen his reactions in the wake of Abiliana, of Kotori and the deaths of his other kits. The tom had lived a life of pain, and maybe one day, she'd understand why he hadn't been able to cope seeing their kits every day, reminding him of yet another thing he'd thought he'd lost. But for the moment, she was blissfully ignorant to his inner turmoil.
She curled around him ever tighter as she heard the sob in his voice. Shule couldn't imagine how he'd felt, without her for so long. Wondering if she'd ever come back, having to stay strong for their kits... she expected it must have been horrible. At least she'd always had the hope that she'd make it home one day. Sean never had that. He'd been left in the dark, with no certainty that she'd come back, and after all his time, had faced the reality that maybe she was dead. He was trying to stay strong, but he didn't need to with her, not really. He'd suffered so much, and he deserved as much as she to be able to let it all out. "I'm not going anywhere, not anymore." She assured softly.
Sean pulled away to look into her eyes, "So. Can I get you something to eat?" he laughed anxiously before leaning his head into her shoulder and lifting his head again only to pull her in closer, "I'm taking care of you from now on. You can put on that tough guy face all you want, but from now on. Every little piece of prey I'll take a bite out of, taste test it. I'll stay up as long as you do. I'd rather stay up a thousand hours with you than go to my nest one more time without you. So. Whatever you want, name it, let's just do it together, sweetheart."
Post by Honeystorm on Mar 31, 2019 10:06:32 GMT -5
"Let's go let the Commander know I'm back, then we can gather the kits and share a meal. We can finally be a family again, and make up for all the lost time. Together." Shule pulled back, but only an inch, looking at her mate with one of her rare smiles, the expression so light, so full of happiness and hope despite tear stained cheeks. She didn't know what kind of cats her kits had become in her absence, what paths they had taken, or what they dreamed of becoming. Were they as adept as Zakiyyah had been, rising to the highest ranks even as young as they were? Were they silly and adventurous like their father, or did they work a touch too hard like her? Shule didn't know, but she couldn't wait to find out.
He had promised not to lie to Shule and in order to do that he found that not thinking and just saying what the truth was helped speak it. However that lead little room to letting his word flow out as elegantly as they usually came. Lies were so beautiful, he could phrase them to be as beautiful as gardens, but the truth was always ugly. There was no dressing it up or conveying it in other way than what it was. The kits weren't here, he gave them away to Glowstar cause in that moment he realized she succeeded in a way he never valued. She was a good mom and he never considered being a good father an achievement, it was just becoming a father was enough. He didn't want to see his kits in passing, he didn't want them to grow up and see him depressed and wonder what kind of she-cat fell in love with a guy like him. He didn't want them to know him at all, he'd rather let them know Glowstar as their mother.
Glowstar had told him she'd tell them stories about their mother and that gave him comfort. He was certain they'd grow up happy and live peaceful lives since the dangerous clans were her friends. Of course, he had been right they lived happy and peaceful lives despite the carnage that unfolded around them...
"I was depressed before you left and when you did I couldn't even feed myself so I let Glowstar take care of them just as she did for Adanna," Sean explained softly and decided to let it sink in before offering to take her to DayClan.
Post by Honeystorm on May 16, 2019 19:49:37 GMT -5
In an instant, it was like the feline shattered. The whole world stopped, and you could just hear her very soul crack like crumbling like glass under the weight of her mate's words.
Shule took a single step back, putting distance between them as her face went slack, completely and utterly blank, seeing through Sean more than hearing his explanation.
It was like a clock ticking down as one watched her, counting down the seconds until her now broken heart started beating a new, uneven rhythm.
Three.
Two.
One.
The shift was quick, and it was dangerous, all the emotion slamming back as her scream echoed into the air.
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
She had no composure left. The raw fury on her face showed, and for the first time in her life, the ebony feline had completely lost control of herself. Shule had jumped off he edge of sanity into rage and despair, the two emotions swirling through her blood and filling up every inch of her mind. In that moment, she understood what it was to hate someone. To hate everyone, really. There was no end in sight, and she would do anything, kill anyone, if it meant getting her kits back. And the first target in her mind registered as DayClan, Glowstar, the very cat who held what was hers.
