"You don't know what I will or won't want." Was her snarky response, as she raised a brow towards him, as if daring him to argue with her. Before she shook her head, realizing she didn't have time for her normal antics. Not if she wanted to get all the way to the borders and back before dark, not if she wanted enough time to explore. "Nevermind, sorry that was rude." She called over her shoulder before she set off once more, being rude once again.

The setting sun didn't help Phobia keep an eye on her surroundings, in fact she blundered through the undergrowth without a care. More intent on reaching the border than anything else, paws blindly walking where perhaps they shouldn't. Cutting a trail towards suspiciously untraveled territory as if mercenary's and scouts had been avoiding it. To blind to notice such a thing her focus never strayed until she found her steps touching nothing, and then she was tumbling. Down, and into true dark, for a moment thinking she had fallen into an old tunnel entrance. Until the deep resonance of a growl echoed through the space. A panicked mind realized she had fallen into a badgers den, before she was sent scrambled by the sound of movement. Her flashing eyes caught sight of the twilight sky and she struggled to escape towards it. One paw was on the surface when she felt sharp jaws clamp on her tail and was releasing a panicked yowl. Other paw flashing out as she struggled to pull away, feeling tendons and fur tearing as the badger refused to let go. Adrenaline drove her forward, helped her ignore the sharp sudden pain and lack of weight, pure shock and panic driving her forward and stopping her from questioning how she had escaped it's grip.

"We need to run, lets run!" Phobia babbled, barley paying him any attention, just enough to spare a feeling of gratefulness as him placing himself between her and the badger. Her now stump of a tail was dripping blood and still had dangling bits of flesh that hadn't ripped off clean. Luckily the cadet hadn't seen it yet or she might have fainted right there. Instead adrenaline had her turning and bolting back towards a cusp of trees, scurrying up one and onto a branch that still retained some foliage despite the winter. She was almost positive badgers couldn't climb, and was panicked that Basil hadn't followed her.

Wide eyes turned back towards the den she had run from, but the badger showed no signs of chasing her out. Were they nocturnal? Was it content it had driven her off? Was it not hungry and didn't find chasing her worth it. While staring at the den her eyes then saw the blood strains in the dirt and her mind flashed back towards the badgers crushing grip on her tail. The tail that no loner had any pain. Her heart seemed to slow as her sluggish mind started piecing things together. Holding her breath she turned to look behind her, trying to swing her tail and seeing nothing, craning more she almost became sick at the sight of her ripped and shredded tail. Feeling faint she wobbled on the branch, claws digging in at the last moment to keep her plummeting from it. "Ba-b-Basil." She hiccuped as she stared at her wound, afraid to look away.

"I- I can get down. You go first though." She stuttered as she shook upon her branch, claws dug so deep she wasn't sure she'd be able to pull them free. But now that Basil was up in the tree with her she felt the calm from shock washing over here. Realizing the mercenary was right, they needed to get back to the tunnels. She didn't dare glance back towards her tail again but she knew a guider or the chaman would need to help her.

"I don't want to rest here, we're to close." Her teeth were chattering, though she wasn't cold, small spasms wracking her frame. Her eyes flitted over in the direction of the badgers den, as if the animal would come lumbering out any moment. They refused to go any further though and look towards her tail. "Lets just head back. I want to go back." She urged and started hurrying forward like a starving man seeing their first meal.

Cadet Phobia let out a series of hurried nods, teeth still chattering and refusing to speak. She was amazed she managed to feel a form of embarrassment in her shock. Despite her burning desire to return to the tunnels she also felt an urge to get away from Basil. The tom who had seen her foolishness. She was a mercenary cadet and instead of acting with any sort of bravery she fled like a true coward. Perhaps she wasn't meant to be a mercenary cadet? To be above ground. Perhaps she was meant to stay within the tunnels, as perhaps a raiser or a guider.

"Am I going to be in trouble?" She stuttered slowly, turning nervous eyes towards the tom. The question seemingly came out of nowhere, Phobia hadn't had it in mind when she decided to speak. Had just wanted to make an affirming noise but instead she was now getting anxious. She wanted to be back in the tunnels, but she also didn't want anyone to see her. To realize what a failure as a mercenary cadet she truly was. But the shock was wearing off and pain was setting in, wracking her steps to stutters and causing her to grit her teeth.

[ here I am one month later ! ]
sunlight

She slipped into the tunnel, taking deep breaths and feeling steadied by the toms comforting motion. She could do this, she could get through this. She.. just the thought of ever leaving the tunnels again had her insides shriveling up. So different from the fresh cadet that had told Lark all about how she was going to constantly be exploring above ground. How much she loved the dynamic nature of it compared to the tunnels. Not to mention how much she feared looking up as they moved through the tunnels, were the others looking at her with judgement?