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Another open trial thread, featuring none other than Primrosetuft, former Loyal Guard member under Aspenstar. Feel free to bring in characters to witness, heckle, or commentate! Evidence, good or bad, false or true, is always welcomed. This also counts as an assessment for any kits or apprentice you want to be promoted.
After the disaster at the last trial, hopes are high that this one will end on a more exciting note — and that doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility. Kier seems to have taken a spot in the audience this time around, leaving two remaining judges: Snowblister, the overseer, and Cascadepaw, daughter of the accused. You can skim the last one hereif you're confused ♡
@ian @ash
The last trial had left a bitter taste in her mouth, and Snowblister could admit that it had made her all the more cruel, and much worse to be around. She paraded around camp, stilling glares with a chilling look, dishing out harsh chores, snappish words and insults. The lower class feared her, the higher ups heeded Kier's words not to take her seriously, to undermine her authority, to brush off her demands and requests because 'that was just bitter old Snowblister.' While she met them with fake, threatening smiles and passive-aggressiveness, as most received when they dared approach her, she was reluctant to realize that they bothered her. They irritated her. The previous trial had left her high-strung, and the aftermath hadn't helped at all. It was obvious she did it just to be petty, Snowblister wasn't exactly known for her graciousness or her kindness, especially when it came to rule breaking — she was naturally strict, and the first thing she taught in all of her classes were the specifics of each and every rule and how to follow them without a second thought. Order was important, yes, but sometimes there were reasons to disrupt it, like pettiness.
Snowblister had arrived first, taking a place just beside where the second judge, Cascadepaw, would sit. She didn't move until the clan streamed in, the majority taking their places in the audience, along the curiously developed cave edges that formed natural stands, as if made for the events that would take place in side of it.
Duskpaw trailed in, slow and reluctant, face drawn and eyes darkened. She looked like she hadn't gotten a single night's sleep, and the observation would be true — what rest she did get was interrupted by streams of nightmares, of dying, of the apprentice that had died in her place, of her family, of the authority. Snowblister had approached her in private only a day prior, naming her the executioner at the last trial and giving no other details and no room to decline. She'd resigned herself to her fate, thought it over while counting down the hours to the next trial. She took a place underneath the judges' stand, purposefully avoiding the stain of blood that still stood out starkly, menacingly. She could feel eyes on her but kept her head down, gaze on her paws. Snowblister had watched as she entered, eyes lighting up, and briefly made her way down to meet the apprentice, eyes cooling over as she demanded her attention. There was a sneer on her lips, "the least you could do is not mess this up. I don't want to hear a word." Almost in contradiction to herself, she sent a smile that could nearly be encouraging, had it not been terrifying. Duskpaw wrapped her tail tightly around her paws.
Everybody settled in, filling the room with incessant chattering before it fell quiet at the entrance of the accused, lead in by two guards on each side. Snowblister gave her a smile as Primrosetuft was placed on the podium, cruel and spiteful. "I'm sure you all know why we're gathered here today," she began, voice bouncing off the walls, "finally, after being placed in the prisons to await her trial following her escapade into neighbouring territory, her disruption and her disrespect, her disloyalty to Nightclan and the authority in charge, it shall commence. She's a stain on the very idea of what we have built for ourselves, a reminder of a past we shouldn't dwell on. A traitor in every sense. Her kits may have gotten off easy," thanks to her, of course, but she didn't mention that, "but that doesn't mean we shouldn't take care of the root problem."
She narrowed her eyes, still fixated on Primrosetuft. "I open with the same question to you as was directed at your daughters: what are you feelings on Nightclan as we are now? What would you change?"
When most of the audience was already seated, Kier finally made his entrance. He stalked in, head down, shoulders sharp and ears slightly back; his air was quiet, dangerous, angry in such a subdued way. He took a seat at the far side of the audience, closest to the entrance, a dark, ominous presence watching in silence from far too close beside the subjects he ruled to be comfortable — not among them, but close enough that it was clear something had shifted, something had changed. Close enough that if they stood, he was lost in the crowd. Close enough that he was just a small, sinister shape at the periphery, shoulders hunched and eyes narrowed. It was difficult to understand why he had taken a back seat this time — was he now taking the role of official assessing the performance of the deputy? Was he too humiliated, too miserable and petulant, to put himself back on the judge’s platform? Was he sulking? — but it was clear all the same that this wasn’t a sign of weakness. There was too much dangerous observation; too many unknown things passing between the leader and the deputy that only they were privy to, even if those things were just tension and anger and silent, resentful daring. In the weeks following the last trial, it had felt like they were circling each other. They had stopped talking. The cavern of NightClan had finally grown too small for them both, and everyone else was suffocating under the animosity of them.
His position at the edge of the crowd left him far closer to Snowblister than he wanted to be, and when she spoke to Duskpaw, he slowly turned his head to watch them, his ears back and his eyes icy. Even the way she directed the apprentice spoke of her growing confidence, of her maneuvering towards the crown he still wore. She sounded like a leader. And that was the dangerous thing about Kier when he was angry, truly angry: he went silent. He shut down and closed off, and when he finally spoke again, when he finally reappeared, it was with a field of poisoned corpses littered behind him. He’d dealt with the problem. It was just a matter of who got to who first now. The claws of his right paw curled and scraped slightly against the stone, like he were imagining some poison vial beneath them; if it hadn’t been for the uproar in the trial cavern around him, the screeching sound would have been piercing. As it was, it was quiet. Swallowed up. They had had the same idea, to put Cascadepaw up as a judge and Duskpaw as the executioner. What a terrible artisanal cruelty. That knowledge, the knowledge that their minds were so alike that Snowblister had done it without any consultation, ate at him. Beneath all the anger, it felt almost like grief. Niggling, howling grief, empty as a steeple. They were the same. And one was going to kill the other.
The beginning of the trial felt just as empty, and Kier sank into himself further when Snowblister began to speak, his bony shoulders pulling up, bitter disgust at the sound of her voice roiling in his gut. His head twitch had come back lately, after the stress of the last trial. It had faded long before he’d come to NightClan, and he’d almost forgotten it. Now, it was just another thing that gnawed so quietly at the strength of his image. His head twitched slightly and he rubbed his cheek against his shoulder to try and hide it, repositioning his paws; for a few moments, Snowblister’s voice faded to the background of his self-consciousness. When he finally tuned back in, looking slightly more miserable and with his cheek still faintly leaning against his shoulder, she was up to the root problem. He could have heckled, could have interjected. He didn’t. He stayed silent. He couldn’t stomach speaking right now. He hardly remembered why Primrosetuft had to die at all.
Once, these trials had made him feel so alive. Because the first rule of tyranny is this: keep the masses busy. Keep them occupied. Terror alone isn’t enough: you can’t sit back in satisfaction and say, there, now they’re too busy being afraid to spend any time scheming. Fear is the great companion to resourcefulness. Fear always bleeds into fearlessness. No. The finest way to ensure your own safety, your own position, is to give them little tasks to do. It’s as simple and as horribly sad as that. And god bless the fact that it is. With them squabbling over scraps of information they think so terribly important and that he’ll toss into the mire the second they look away, they don’t notice his shadow stretching further and further beyond their borders. Because the first rule is this, hear, the first rule is this — we will all become the weary, the weak, the old. We will all some day be the feeble and the defenceless, at the mercy of those who we had once been so much like. So what point is there in being better now? What point is there in not lording your power today, your strength at this very minute, your untouchability in this exact moment? When you are so young, when you have armies and disciples, when cruelty had given you each and every one of them — why not lap it all up hungrily, suffocated by the knowledge that one day, in a month, in a year, it will all be stripped away and you will again thirst without promise of water? Why not, then, be a monster in a palace today when you will be a beggar on the street tomorrow? Why not indulge the worst evils right this very second, when your money can buy every single one of them? Morality is a very easy thing to think of when you’re not the one feasting at the top of the pyramid. Really, being a tyrant was utterly joyless — paper-pushing and meetings till the early hours and his mate already asleep when he finally crawled into bed. So let him have this. Yes, let him have this. Far better to die a liar in a castle than live a crumb on the streets.
But now, he just felt hollow.
Afraid. Like the church bells were tolling down his hours. The inevitability haunted him. All Kier ever did now was push back, back against the flowing sands, but they didn’t stop. They never stopped.
Leveretpaw cowered on the flat ground at the lip of the podium, half lost to shadow and visibly shaking where he sat. He hoped they would forget he was here, hoped they would so consume themselves with Primrosetuft that his crime seemed so insignificant, that they ran out of time — and then he hated himself for hoping that, because he was shielding his own life with a mother’s. As subtly as he could, with tiny, jerky movements, he turned his head, trying to seek out Oleanderpaw’s gaze in the crowd, or even Bumblebeepaw’s. She might speak up. They had promised they would explain what had happened. His heart hammered in his chest, in his ears, so violently he felt he was going to faint; he could hardly breathe with his chest trembling so hard against his lungs. Sucking in a breath that held a faint, involuntary cry, high and terrified and desperate, he turned his head back to Primrosetuft, gazing wretchedly at the back of her head. A tear spattered onto one of his forepaws, staining the pale fur dark grey; they shook so terribly his dew claws clattered together, his bones aching where they met. But he remained silent. Even as he shook, he remained quiet. He wouldn’t harm Primrosetuft’s defence, not even if it would save him.
But even as he thought it, he didn’t know. If he could conjure up evidence, if he could lie, if he could play the witness from the accused’s podium — if cowardice, if treachery, would spare his life… He drew in another trembling breath, setting his jaw. The fact was, he didn’t know.
Brat sat in silence beside Bumblebeepaw, slightly more sombre than usual. The atmosphere had gotten to even her. Everything felt so heavy, so immediate, like the grey air was all gearing up to something terrible and immense, the end of everything; even she couldn’t laugh in the face of it. She drew her forepaws closer together and leaned slightly against the apprentice, letting out a breath, her eyes not leaving the podium. It felt like the trial cavern was filled with discordant, quivering violin notes. This one wasn’t fun. It was deadly. It was a solemn, hateful power-play, cold and storming and barren, one that would drag them all down with it.
i cannot stop listening to rule #4 fish in a birdcage for this thread
For once in her lifetime, Cascadepaw's gaze was not focused on the ground. It swept the clearing, taking note of every cat who sat in the audience. It lingered on Kier for a moment, finding him in the back. She had never actually looked at the tom, or at least, any more of the tom than his paws. It was strange, taking his visage in. He looked... different than she had expected. It made her lips want to twist into a maniacal grin: Not so happy now, are you? Your little game getting a little too real? She said nothing, though. Instead, her gaze flickered to the others, just in time to see the tear pass from Leveretpaw's eye. Again, a feeling of cold defiance ran through her. The entire crowd had purred at the site of her and her sister's in the hot seat: where was the pomp and circumstance now? The only cat who seemed to be enjoying herself was Snowblister, the other cat who stood next to her. Then, finally, her gaze shifted to her sister. Gone was the anger that had infiltrated her gaze the last time they had been in that particular position. When Duskpaw survived that night, all had been forgiven. As much as she wanted to deck her sister in the throat for her stupidity, all was well now. Or at least, all was as well as they could be. After all, like pawns in the leadership's sadistic games, both she and her sister were part of this now, suffering similar fates. Their mother would die, and the weight of that decision would be similarly suffocating. Her gaze rested on her sister, and she gave her a nod. It will be okay, the look in her gaze suggested. But would it? At least Cascadepaw was up here, protected by her role as judge. Duskpaw... well she was a little more screwed. She could feel another wisp of resentment pass through her, this time directed at their other sister. Where was Pantherpaw in all of this? If she had to be the judge, her sister the executioner, why did Pantherpaw get out of it? By this point, she knew her sister was pregnant. Was this the only reason? A bitterness washed over her chest as she thought of that: why did Pantherpaw get around sentencing her mother to death? If this was a way to divide the sisters, she was almost certain it was, it was at least partially working.
She blinked away all of those thoughts, her outer shell never faltering once. No matter what she felt - and at the moment, she felt a lot of things, wrath, anguish, heartbreak, anger, disgust - the clan would never see her sweat. There was a quiet defiance in this refusal to let the others sense weakness in her, pick up on any sign of emotion. To the rest of the world, she was a stone. Even to her sisters, this ambivalence seldom broke. By the time Snowblister had started to speak, her gaze moved to the deputy. Her head tilted slightly. Her kits may have gotten off easy, that was laughable. Of course, the deputy had intervened to save Duskpaw's life, Cascadepaw couldn't deny that. But to call this easy? To be sent to the throne of your mother's death, was that easy? Was knowing that your word would end your mother's life easy? Was the execution that laid in wait for Duskpaw easy? Maybe it was, maybe she was being ungrateful.
The tip of her tail twitched, and the marbled she-cat turned her gaze to where her mother stood. There was a part of her that ached to see her mother in the position that she was in. She hated that she was going to be the one to sentence her mother to death. Would she understand? Had she accepted her fate along time ago? Would she know that if Cascadepaw had her way, this stupid game would be over? Guilt bubbled in her chest, but her eyes stayed empty, devoid of all life.
There had been many times in their life when they had been told they couldn't read the room, but luckily, Bumblebeepaw could most certainly read this one. It felt odd now, like a twisted sense of deja vu, like a fun-house mirror of a memory that still lingered in the back of their mind. Last trial had been grand; a show, a circus. And they had been in the crowd just like this, excited and eager to prove that they were loyal, devout to Kier and his version of Nightclan. The horror of it, the brutality of it, it had all been hidden behind the grandioseness, and the facade of it being something of an act. To Cascadepaw and her sisters it had most certainly been all too real, but for a casual audience member, Bumblebeepaw recalled it as something of a festival, a show, all in some sick version of fun where adrenaline and horror had mixed with ambition and a corrupted sense of jovialness. It hadn't felt serious, it hadn't felt like the consequences were real, it felt like a chance to move up in the world and a little amusement, all for the measly price of 3 bodies of soon-to-be carrion.
But this, this felt real. The dreariness of it pealed back any curtain that had held up the feigned sense that this was all some graphic theater play for their amusement. It felt like a real trial, and the precepice of something more deadly. There was a tension in the air, and they couldn't help but feel a burning unease at the thought of Keir sitting somewhere behind them all, watching them. The same wasn't made better by the sense that Snowblister was also watching the crowd as well from above. There were two sides filled with a bitter, hateful tension, and they were stuck inbetween the two of them. All of them were.
Bumblebeepaw did their best to ignore it, wave away any thoughts or feelings they had. There was a certain stoicness they were trying to uphold, as if to not show anything at all was their best bet of getting out of this without upsetting either party. It was rare that the apprentice tried to go unnoticed, but the tension that buzzed in the grim atmosphere of the cavern was enough to tell them that anything else was likely not ideal. For a while their eyes traced the crowd, trying to get a sense of expressions, of thoughts, of feelings. What did everyone else think of this? What did eveyone else feel? But they stopped when their eyes landed on Leveretpaw, small and pathetic near the podium, the rise of memories they quickly realized they'd rather not think about rushed back to them. There was brief moment, the smallest span of a second, where the two made eye contact, but the apprentice quickly broke it, turning their gaze down. They hated it, the feelings they felt seeing the apprentice cowering in the audience in front of them, and they felt a slight resentment that was aimed only at themselves as pity bubbled up in their chest. It was pathetic, it was shameful, Leveretpaw was a traitor and they had even agreed to help him; why should they feel anything? But that line of logic wouldn't prevail, and so instead the knawing emotions that stirred inside of them continued.
It was perhaps a good thing, though, that their eyes glanced down right as Brat pushed into them slightly. They weren't sure they wouldn't have done something stupid like slightly jumped at being taken out of their thoughts by the feeling. Luckily, instead they had noticed, and so they made sure to stay still, solid, firm. As if somehow that resoluteness was a comfort; perhaps in some ways it was. They wanted to, for the sake of lightening the mood, make a joke. They had a few that played in their mind; maybe a dry joke about how this time it sounded like the frogs were croacking, or some quip about how the mood was so dreary one would think they were about to watch funeral processions, but none came out. Their throat itself felt heavy. So instead the just sat there, waiting for an answer from the accused, as if somehow, some way, that would make this somber gathering better.
Centurykit sat somewhere in the middle of the crowd. They preferred this. The somberness, the quiet, the seriousness. It all felt fitting, it all felt right, like everything was properly in its place this way. Not because of the looming implication of death and the tension between the two heads of clan which had moved past them and swallowed everything in the air between them. All that was off, and they hated it as much as they hated anything when the atmosphere felt off, but at least it seemed like the logical feeling for this sort of event. That was a start, that was better than the cheering and amuesement that had filled the last few trials. This at least seemed right.
It didn't show on his face of course, on the outside he was perfectly placid. Sat there like every little wide eyed kit trying to look like a very polite audience member, posture straight, tail coiled around his paws, mouth turned down into a serious little frown that scrunched up his little muzzle with a single, tiny wrinkle. He was the perfect picture of a cute little gentleman. But inside, he was brewing with a cold mixture of an unabashed love and a dreadful, chilling hate for the scene that he had found himself a part of.
There was one thing a cat could say, and that was that Primrosetuft stood by her words from the moment they had uttered from her lips. She had grown tired of pretending to be loyal to a clan she could not find herself to be in agreeance with, a clan she was not proud to call her own. Being a part of the 'loyal' guard was simply a joke at that point, and she found no pride in what it had become. Once she had finally used her voice as defiance, the world had changed for her. Perhaps, one would say, for the worst. Yet, now she could say with pure confidence that she was being true to herself for once in her life.
The black and white feline was led to her spot. The podium was nothing but her death sentence, and she knew that she would be taking her last breath that day. She'd thought about it for many of nights as she was beaten. Though, when that Primal Instinct league cat had been brought in, there had been much more attention brought to her. She remembered it as a relief, even. Primrosetuft had grown to be rather thankful that it was not her taking the brunt of the beatings anymore. However, she also had felt guilt in such thankfulness. The bobbed tail cat had seemed to find it almost humorous. Primrosetuft had not been able to understand that. She'd found that once she had dropped and couldn't get up, the beatings would typically end and resume at a later time. Yet, the league cat always seemed to get back up, jeering at the guard or Eris. Oh how Primrosetuft found such hope in the way that little cat fought back, the way her attitude flared instantly and she always had a sharp tongue. She'd never lost that spark, but she herself had long ago.
Though Primrosetuft was set on keeping true to herself, she was tired. She felt pain with movement from bruises hidden underneath her pelt, she felt exhaustion in her bones, and had accepted that she would die. Perhaps, any prisoner had. She wondered now, if that calico league cat felt the same, but brushed the thought away. Kate had said to the very one that was to sentence Primrosetuft to death,I am getting out. Oh how that young cat's eyes had shone with determination so deep that it radiated in the entire prison. It gave some hope, and at some points in time had almost managed to give Primrosetuft even a glimmer.
It wasn't enough, because here she was now, her eyes moving to find her two daughters. How cruel for it that they were to be the very ones that had a paw forced into it. She swallowed, green eyes filled with a deep sadness that only a mother could know. "My girls." She whispered, more to herself than anything. Duskpaw looked so defeated, so broken, down, exhuasted. A sharp pang hit her chest as she forced her eyes away from one daughter to another. Cascadepaw looked so... so set into survival mode. Primrosetuft knew that Cascadepaw had always been the strongest of the three. She had once called her the protector of the three. Her mind was sharp and always on the ready. Yet, she could see right through what she had put up for this theatrical event. Her daughter was holding together well, despite.
A wind rippled through the crowd, and with it she caught Pantherpaw's scent. Of course she did, it was her daughter...
___________
Black fur was mixed within the crowd of multi hued cats. She sat in silence, her eyes fixated on none other than her mother. Pantherpaw watched as she observed her other two daughters, the emotions twisting on her mother's face. Yet, Pantherpaw managed to keep hers devoid of emotion. Her lips pressed together as she sat, her sides slightly budging outwards at this point. There was no hiding her pregnancy any longer. Her tail tip flicked against her own stomach back and fourth nervously, her nerves clearly making the little kittens within wiggle anxiously. As green eyes met green, she found herself staring right back at Primrosetuft. They held the gaze, but made no movement and their faces simply held nothing on them. However, Pantherpaw knew. It was almost as if they could talk back and fourth without talking. Moments passed where the world felt like it were in slow motion, and felt as if the two were the only in the forest.
Then suddenly...
________
"My feelings of NightClan are simply put: a disgraced clan that does not deserve to inhabit this forest. Honorless and shameful, with no apathy. I find myself repulsed by the thought of living another waking moment, as the life lived here is a deep torment for the mind as well as a festering wound on every inch of my being." Her shining green eyes met Snowblister unwavering. "I find a deep sadness that my daughters, and grandkits, will have to continue to make this place their cage. I only pray that StarClan forgives me for standing firm on my words and damning my kin to live without me. However, for this cause, I'm ready to die. There is nothing I would change."
When Pantherpaw entered, Kier turned his head to look at her, gazing for a long few moments, but his eyes were slightly vacant, like he wasn’t really seeing her. There was some vague sort of thought that drifted along at the back of his mind, something like well, she’s really starting to show now, and even to him it felt strangely harmless, strangely delicate, like faint happiness. The more conscious Kier would have felt sick, cocky pride, would have looked at her like she was a keepsake, a conquered little trophy that everyone would know was carrying his kits, his — would have wanted it to be the last thing he said to Primrosetuft, the last thing she heard, sidling up to her on the podium and making some crass, sneer-smiling comment close to her ear about how he’d had his way with her daughter and it had stuck. But this Kier, the fearful, quiet one, the one that could almost be called gentle, felt nothing but faint concern for her, faint hope that she was doing alright, like a thought wisping on the breeze, his stomach clenching slightly with responsibility for her and her kits. He wanted to go sit beside her, fuss a bit, make sure she was alright, keep her company even if he knew his company was the last thing she would have wanted. And then it was gone, drifting away as he turned his head and his uncomprehending eyes back to the trial with slightly jerky, disjointed movements.
His eyes found Cascadepaw, slightly pitiful, and on her they stayed. Everyone knew he was devoted to Eris, everyone knew she was the queen and the terror who could send someone to the gallows for daring to look at her, everyone knew he was nothing but a worshipful idiot for her, but with her so often hidden away, he needed the image of someone at his side — the First Lady of NightClan, someone sophisticated and elegant and willing to raise toasts at dinner parties, someone who would sit beside him at the head of the table and make him look all the stronger for having such a beautiful, unattainable prize nodding along with a silent, knowing smile at his words. He needed a mindless figurehead, a perfect lady, an example to everyone, a symbol of the old order joined with the new — bowed to the new, but equal. He needed Cascadepaw. So that the cats who weren’t swayed by Kier, by his charm and his smiles and then his slimy, whispering threats, could be swayed by her. Especially now with Snowblister fracturing the Clan down the middle, he needed that insurance policy, that added half-half to pick up where and what he lacked. Anyone who didn’t like Kier could like Cascadepaw. She could be his perfect lady companion in the eyes of the public, platonic and demure and politically savvy but politically silent, married to a loyalist in his entourage and plucked out to raise red wine at state functions and lend his upstart image elegant legitimacy — and always at his side. It pricked at his gut to see her beside Snowblister now — if she got to her first… But she wouldn’t. She didn’t think like that. Even though Kier, beyond the stubborn, dismissive misogyny that clouded so much of his conscious thought like a wilful, desperate haze, knew that Snowblister was so much more than he dismissed her as, knew she was clever and resourceful and cunning, knew that, beyond his half-truths about needing her might, was the true reason he had approached her — because she was an equal. Even despite all that, he still comforted himself with the knowledge, however untrue, however delusional, that she didn’t think like him. That she was less than. It was the only thing keeping him going, the only thing preventing him from bundling into a corner and rocking back and forth.
The stress of this, of being hounded on every side, had taken the clear-thinking, brilliant young leader and turned him to a paranoid wreck. And the answer to everything was Cascadepaw. The answer was young cats like Bumblebeepaw, like Lilacpaw, like Ratsneer — like Laertes. If he had them— if he had them, he had NightClan. Now, the strength of their rule had crumbled into a matter of campaigning, of who was the better one to die for — and Kier, if he was good at anything, was good at getting cats on his side with promises and quiet, intimate words, however panicked his eyes. He needed them to stay loyal to the idea of him on the throne. He needed them to be willing to fight for him, if the worst thing happened — needed them to get back his crown, to conspire and undermine and betray if he lost it, if it was taken from him, which was becoming more and more likely. He needed their loyalty in NightClan.
He needed Cascadepaw.
He needed the shield of her. It was all he thought of when he lay awake beside his mate, a nervous mess. Somehow, he’d pinned his hopes to the golden image of a traitor’s daughter. He would do anything.
If someone were to sit him down and explain everything rationally, clearly, calmly, logically, explain precisely what he needed to do; if they had said ‘there’s an easy way to fix this — your Clan is still under your control — they’re following your lead, not the other way around — you’re the conqueror, not the victim’, he would have backed away in blind fear, would have shook his head with wide, helpless, pleading eyes and said ‘no, no, no, you’re wrong, it’s beyond fixing, there’s nothing left.’ He felt hunted. He couldn’t think, couldn’t take the time to lay it all out for himself like he always did, couldn’t close his eyes and breathe and let himself how easy, how simple, this all was — there was just terror, an unintelligible tangle of limbs and parts, and the need to act first, before Snowblister could— He wished his mate were here; then, just to show off for her, he could gather some energy and vitriol. Some of that narcissistic flair. He wished, he wished—
My feelings of NightClan are simply put. When Kier looked up, startled by the speaking, his wide, uncomprehending eyes and slightly open mouth looked almost innocent. And when Primrosetuft went on, when she called NightClan shameful and lacking all honour, a loud, single bark of laughter left Kier’s mouth, shattering the silence and disrupting the grandiosity of everything — because it was so funny, it was really so very funny; she was right, she was absolutely right, and she was telling it to Snowblister. The laugh was so startling, and his attention so unsteady, that it took him a second to realise he had made the sound. It was only when a few cats at the edge of the audience turned to look at him warily, uneasily, that he sat up straighter, looking bewildered with his eyes darting about and his paws shuffling closer together, and clamped his mouth shut tighter. He realised then that he hadn’t remembered to tell Duskpaw to make the execution quick like he’d promised, and even though logically he knew Primrosetuft’s daughter would, the thought panicked him. He rearranged his paws again, heart hammering in his chest. “Yes, yes,” he spoke up from beside the audience, and his voice sounded strangely stammery compared to his usual silkiness as he addressed Primrosetuft, a manic, mocking sort of look on his face, half a smile. “What a good thing you stood firm to your beliefs — what a good thing. You’ll be honoured for centuries, not forgotten the second your body starts to rot in the ground. Yes, what a good thing. Then you’ll know a festering wound.” He almost laughed at the mention of StarClan, almost tossed his head and cackled, but he held back — by whatever brittle string was keeping him together, he held back. That was one bargaining chip he wouldn’t lose, his divine right. “No, no — rest assured, Primmy, your daughters will be well looked after. Cascadepaw will make such a fine centrepiece for my little empire.” Not Snowblister’s; never Snowblister’s. “Goodbye, Primrosetuft, you won’t be missed.” With that, smiling to himself and lost again to the spinning fog of his own head, Kier looked back down at the stone ground like it held the mysteries of the universe and half-lay where he sat, brushing circles in the dust with his paw.
“Oh! Oh!” He looked up again, like the world had faded out and then suddenly lurched back in. His eyes were wild with excitement, with joy. He wasn’t a judge, but he was leader. Leader trumped judge. He could do anything, anything. This was his Clan. He was high on parading how the rules didn’t apply to him, not realising how embarrassing he was being in his insane, desperate show of untouchable self-importance, sounding like an audience member interrupting the proceedings — and no one could stop him. “Cascadepaw, do some interrogating — come on. Ask a question or two. Hit her! Hit her! That’s the wonderful thing about this life, my dear, this life with me — no one can stop you. Wring the final confessions from her! Who did she love most? Not Duskpaw — what’s to love about the runt of the litter? Anything you’ve ever wanted to know, my dear — clock’s ticking! Be a good little judge and show her how fine you’ll be by yourself when she’s gone. Show her just how little a traitor to our fine home means to you. Show her what a mother’s pitiful, meaningless love is worth. Break her heart!” It was a joyful threat for his own sick, manic amusement: be cruel to save yourself; ruin your final minutes together and know you can’t ever take it back. He was almost bouncing where he sat, eyes darting between the mother and daughter. His head twitched; he didn’t care.
When her mother spoke, a tendril of ice wrapped around her chest, strangling her slightly. It wasn't that Primrosetuft's response was a surprise to her - it wasn't. She had been expecting it since the day that she entered the prison, that her mother was going to fight tooth and nail for what she believed in. She knew her mother had it in her to be a martyr, and that she would be a martyr. Still, hearing the words come out of her mother's mouth made a chill run down her spine. As she spoke about damning her kin, the very tip of her tail twitched, almost imperceptible. A swell of anger rose through her: how dare you, she wanted to ask. How dare you leave us, and for what? Why was Cascadepaw the only one in the family who knew when to shut up? Why had her mother been so explicit? Cascadepaw felt like an island, detached from all that she loved. Pantherpaw, she was distant from because of resentment; of course, she imagined that her sister had become pregnant for similar reasons as Cascadepaw did much of anything - self-preservation. But self-preservation was not enough for the she-cat to have sympathy for her sister, no matter how much she had repeatedly told the others that they needed to keep their heads down, that they needed to do what they needed to do. The reason for the distance was simple: Pantherpaw didn't have to bare the weight of their mother's execution. Cascadepaw would always be haunted by it, she knew that as she stared down at her mother. It would be a wound that never quite healed, an angry scar that she wouldn't forget. Her distance from her mother was also strong. She wanted to go to her mother, to press her side into her. Primrosetuft ensured that would never happen, that never again would they share a tender moment of mother and daughter. There was a part of her that was angry at that, no, furious. Betrayed, really. A mother was supposed to do whatever she could to ensure her children thrived. How could Primrosetuft do that from beyond the grave? As much as she respected her mother's choice - she really did, and she was stunned by the transparency of her response - there was a part of her that took it as an abandonment. Things were horrible and within the hour, she would no longer have a mother to help her deal with the horror. The gulf between her and Duskpaw had not opened yet, but Cascadepaw knew it was going to happen. How could they look each other in the eyes, both complicit in the bloodshed of the one cat that was supposed to be there alongside them? How could she even live with herself? The thoughts raged inside her mind as she stared forward, only distracted when Kier again started to speak.
Cascadepaw will make such a fine centrepiece for my little empire.
There was a hint of relief that settled in her chest. She had done it. She had sold her soul and she would be rewarded for it. If she was to be a centerpiece, if Kier saw value enough in her to make her a symbol, she had survived. For the first time in a moon, she felt the target ease from her shoulders, felt the wisp of freedom. She had destroyed herself strategically, offered the world only what they wanted to see, and she had saved her own life. Yes, if Kier wanted a symbol, he would get a symbol. A perfect lady, submissive but endearing. She could see it now, becoming NightClan's dedicated housewife. The clan needed a feminine touch, after all. Of course, Snowblister was a she-cat herself, but it was hard to picture the deputy as a lady. Ladies weren't powerful; they did not make the clan tremble. Ladies cleaned the house and set the table for dinner, hosted parties, smiled. She could do that. If he needed a centerpiece, if that's what it meant to stay alive, she would do it with a resolute nod.
That's the thing about this life, my dear, this life with me - no one can stop you. When he continued, there was a moment where Cascadepaw's lips twitched. It wasn't quite a smile; no, a smile would be improper for the fact that she was being instructed to interrogate her mother. But it was a shift in her facial expression all the same. The idea that no one could stop her made her, for once in her life, feel powerful. The power came at a cost, one that she would never quite recover from, but it was power all the same. She had felt so powerless since her mother had first been thrown into the prison. Simply playing the part was exhausting and had made her feel like her fate was so far outside of her own paws. But if no one could stop her, it had all been worth something. Not only had it saved her life, but it restored some of her control. There was a part of her that hated herself for even pondering that in this moment. After all, this all was coming at a cost. Her path to freedom was paved with her mother's blood. The part of her that still clung to humanity knew that this was an unacceptable bargain, would have given up anything to change it, was willing to give up anything to make sure her mother survived. But, after her mother spoke, the part of her that wanted to - needed to - do what she had to do was getting stronger. Primrosetuft knew exactly what she was doing when she spoke: she was ensuring in plain terms that there was no other option but her own death. If living here really did make her mother's skin crawl, was it really worth fretting? When her mother spoke, she spoke with the knowledge that this was the end. If she had said anything else, if she had even attempted to show any sort of defference, perhaps the guilt would have been more consuming. Her mother had made her decision. Now it was for Cascadepaw to make her own, and at the end of the day, her own decision would be whatever it took to see tomorrow.
When given her task, Cascadepaw offered a nod of acknowledgement. Of course, most of the questions that he had prompted her to ask meant little to nothing to her. She didn't care who her mother loved most - from her vantage point, it almost felt like Primrosetuft loved none of them. If she loved them, she would have offered more than an anguished My girls, offered more than a statement of her sadness that they would have to continue on without her. Perhaps she was being cruel, working too hard to assuage her own guilt. Perhaps this was a sign of unending love, that her mother knew that while she was alive, her daughters would always be questioned. In the end, though, it didn't matter. The choices that had led to this moment were already made.
She blinked once, before opening her jaw to speak.
"I have one question for you," she meowed. This time, she made no effort to conceal the soft anger that radiated through her voice. "How dare you? How dare you come before us and speak like that?" How dare you do this to us would have been a better question, perhaps. How could you be so stupid would have also been a better question. "StarClan might forgive you, but do you expect any of us to?" Of course, when she said us, she really meant herself and Duskpaw, perhaps Pantherpaw as well. "Does this show make you feel good about yourself, one last dig at NightClan? Knowing how this ends, knowing what you are forcing us to do, have you no guilt?"
She knew that her words would perhaps mince her mother, slice her open in a more cruel way than Duskpaw would. She knew that they were laced with poison. She knew very well that she could be doing exactly what Kier asked, breaking Primrosetuft's heart. She knew her sisters may never forgive her for the question, that her mother herself might spend the last few moments of her life hating her. But, she needed to know. She needed to know if her mother had any defense, anything that could prevent her from resenting her mother. She needed to know for herself.
Disgraced clan that does not deserve to inhabit this forest. Snowblister laughed very nearly the same time Kier did, the sound leaving her mouth sharp and quick and genuinely, sincerely amused at her words. It was an insult. Immediately it cut out, her eyes finding him, scathing, before drifting back to Primrosetuft, very much the same look. Where Kier found it amusing because he felt her words were right, Snowblister was amused at the ridiculousness of such a statement. They were so different, but the reaction spoke of a certain synchronization, a similarity between them, a rhyming note, and it was that that bothered her the most. She listened to Kier's words with a grimace, watched the shadows rise around him as the audiences' faces melted away into obscurity, and for a moment it looked as though there was a spotlight on him, like he was the only thing illuminated in the room. Snowblister's fur prickled, an unusual yet subdued display of unease. Cascadepaw will make such a fine centrepiece for my little empire. She could only muster a quiet huff of annoyance. She turned her attention back to Primrosetuft, letting her face set into one of dignity, straight-faced and unreactive, though it took a minute for the prisoner's features to return.
My girls. The words hurt Duskpaw much worse than they should have. The crowd was quieter this time, all the charm and the excitement of the previous trial left behind when it had ended, now remaining only the dull knowledge that it would end in tragic bloodshed. She tried to block everything out, sitting still and focusing on the way her tail tapped rhythmically on the ground in front of her paws, counting the times, making a tune in her head, doing her best to ignore it all until her name was called, until the verdict was decided. She knew what it would be, everybody did, there was no denying it with the way Primrosetuft stood steady in her beliefs, didn't try to defend herself once even though she would be leaving her three daughters behind. She took a few deep, steadying breaths, but it didn't seem to quell the anxious knot in her stomach. Cascadepaw, do some interrogating — come on. She looked up to the judges' stand at her sister's name, blinking up at her though not trying to meet her eyes. She didn't feel she could. Should. Duskpaw could understand her anger, but where Cascadepaw felt a fire, Duskpaw always felt a rainy day — her hurt was never angry or bitter, it was quiet and sad, pitiful and detrimental, all mixed with nauseating anxiety and panic, like the emotions were always too much. Knowing how this ends, knowing what you are forcing us to do, have you no guilt? She forced herself to look at her mother, still so defiant, yet there was resignation. She knew her fate. She didn't try to wriggle out of it. Briefly, she wondered where Pantherpaw was, assuming somewhere in the crowd, granted the luxury of watching instead of participating, an onlooker to Cascadepaw's sentence and Duskpaw's execution. Her mind had been too buzzy to fully grasp the pregnancy, the implications and the reasons, the obvious nepotism that Kier showed her sister despite Pantherpaw not doing much to deserve it at all. She just knew that she herself were the poisonous one, the one that the title of family traitor would fall to when Primrosetuft was put to death. By herself. The thought hit her like claws to her face, a sudden, jarring realization, the fogginess she had dipped her mind in clearing all too suddenly — she was the executioner, she was the reaper, the enforcer, of her own mother. Her breath hitched, and Primrosetuft's stubbornness felt much more vile than it had before.
Oleanderpaw had quickly gotten bored of searching for Leveretpaw, not risking calling out his name and looking for a good few minutes before giving up with an annoyed grunt, taking a place beside Bumblebeepaw instead, side-eying Brat out of the corner of her eye but not saying a word to her. How long could she hold a grudge? The answer was forever. She could die and her last words could be 'I hate Brat,' and she would be content with that because they were so incredibly true. She gave Bumblebeepaw a confused look, a slight pout in her face, before nudging them, "cheer up. This one's boring now, but it'll be interesting soon, look —" She pointed to Primrosetuft as she started to speak, Oleanderpaw's face forming an open-mouthed 'o' look, totally having expected her to defend herself in some way.
"That's probably where Duskpaw gets it from," she laughed, looking at the other apprentice briefly with a slightly uneasy look. "But, like, at least they're honest."
Bumblebeepaw had been about to respond, about to make a small joke or warm comment, or something to lighten the mood at least in some vague reassurance that they were fine, all was well, that Oleanderpaw was right and that things would soon be livening up. Of course it would have been a lie, but it would have been enough of a group lie that in-between the three of them it could have been convincing; that everything was well and dandy, that it was almost the same as the last trial.
But then, Primrosetuft spoke, and their blood ran cold. They felt disgust burn away at them at the she cat's words, and it was probably good that Kier and Snowblister laughed when they did, because it helped to drown out the hint of an involuntary growl that briefly rumbled in the apprentice's throat. For Kier the she cat's words were amusing because they were right, for Snowblister's they were amusing because they were ridiculous; to Bumblebeepaw, they were disgusting because they were an insult. It was funny really, that perhaps Bumblebeepaw was more innately patriotic than either of their two heads of authority were, or perhaps that was only natural, because to be at the top meant you could see everything for what it was, or peel off some of the illusion, or feel like things were molded in the shape you wanted it to be, and thus such unyeilding devotion to what you created was too below you, and so that bred a very different sort of attachment. Patriotism was for the masses, but that's precisely what they were. The fact that the she cat dared to insult the very system that they worked so hard to fit into, that they fought every day tooth and nail to uphold, that they had been formed and brought up and created by, it made them seethe. It was the exact sort of unbridled loyalty that Kier probably would have adored to have seen he had fostered so well, if he wasn't making an entire scene out of the moment, if he wasn't so focused on Cascadepaw and upshowing Snowblister.
To everyone else Kier's little spectacle might have come off as an insane display, but in some ways, it was a comfort. It somewhat soothed the rise of distaste that had gnawed at the apprentice at the she cat's words, because it made them into some absolute joke. It made it into something worth mocking from the audience's seat, into a thing worth being put down and derided and treated like something pathetic; and to Bumblebeepaw it was all it was worthy of. Such inane drivel and treacherous statements; from where they sat it didn't seem like honor or steadfast belief, it looked like a last attempt at stabbing back at the clan, and it deserved to be treated in a way that made it look as pitiful as it was.
And then once more another voice rose; Cascadepaw spoke, and the last bit of the rage and disgust faded, and in its place was the harsh blow of reality. The fact that two daughters were sat on stage, turned against their mother, the very person who had indirectly sent the two on the stand before. They felt something stir, a pity -- though they would have desperately labled it as anything else -- at their situation. It was perhaps something similar to how the two felt, something similar to the anger that had fueled Cascadepaw's words, it was disgust that she was putting them through this, disgust that she had indeed ruined her three daughter's lives by her own choices. She had to be stupid, she had to be vain and heartless and self-centered; she had nearly killed her own daughts and now was doubly humiliating them with her own pathetic resilience to, as Cascadepaw herself said, make "one last dig at NightClan."
"Stupid too." Was the only response the apprentice dare to make, biting back a snarl. Though unlike Oleanderpaw's original comment, it wasn't aimed at Duskpaw. Of course, they did think Duskpaw's display last trial had been stupid, but at least it had been pathetic, remorseful, and it was easy to pity her -- even more so now, seeing her as the executioner to her own mother. No wonder she had ended up like she had last trial, it felt like fate. If treason didn't breed treason, it was more assured to the apprentice than ever that it did breed broken homes and ruined cats; and all for what? What had Primrosetuft even accomplished, bar throwing her life away and almost her daughters with it? It was almost impressive how fast Primrosetuft had earned the apprentice's ire, she might have been the fastest to gain it yet.
The scene around Ratsneer felt like a comfort, making him startlingly different from those that were around him, those who seemed to just want this to be over quickly. To him this was what he waited for, the only excitement and pleasure that really seemed to light his life; it was pure entertainment. And, of course, it was an intense outlet for his rage and disgust. Admittedly the tom wasn't on the smart side, and perhaps that's why he fed so easily into the tyranny that was his life, why he ate it up like he was on the verge of starvation, why he held onto Kier's every last word; maybe he was just a sick, sadistic cat. The scene unfolding was something he wanted to savor, and savor it he would.
Unfortunately to him, there was not near enough attention on Leveretpaw. Ratsneer knew this trial was for Primrosetuft, that it was inevitable what was going to happen to her, that it was an example. Oh, but Leveretpaw. How much he wished to see their blood flow across the podium, to meet their gaze as their life dwindled so he could smirk back. There was a twisting feeling in his gut that he wouldn't get what he wanted today. Yes, he wanted to see Primrosetuft suffer at the paws of her own daughters, it was so laughable, so sick and twisted and perfect. Truly something to marvel at while you munched on a warm piece of prey.
But Leveretpaw. The name squirmed around his brain like a bug, multiplying like a colony of cockroaches that were infesting his mind. It was all he could think about as he watched everyone on stage. His claws scraped the hard rock beneath him and his hungered gaze fell to his prey that huddled so pathetically at the edge of it all, too cowardly to own up to their treason.
"Traitors. Both of them." His voice echoed in the empty space between the conversations at hand, and he hoped it would find Leveretpaw and let fear sink into him like a parasite.
It was then that Primrosetuft turned to look Cascadepaw in the eyes. She locked them there and studied her daughter carefully. There was one thing she was not worried about, and that was this one. She knew that Cascadepaw was smart, and would do anything to live and protect her sisters. Even if it meant acting as she was not. She could still see the hurt in her eyes, however. She could see the hurt in all of her kits eyes, and knew that they wished it had not gone this way. As do I, my loves. I am so very sorry. It was one last thought, if even to herself. She pressed her lips together and the black feline lifted her head straighter and nodded to the apprentice.
"Take care of them." It was simple and she seemed to have ignored the questions. To her there was no point in answering it. It was simply something to get a rise out of the others in the clan, to put on a show that Kier would enjoy. Something that, she truly... could not entertain. Cascadepaw knew why, her other two daughters knew why.
As she stared at her daughter a little longer, she begged with her eyes for forgiveness. For one last glimpse of love and understanding. For her daughter to see her as her mother one last time.
Though Bumblebeepaw's words were edged with a snarl, Oleanderpaw gave a sharp laugh, as if the entire situation was the most entertaining thing in the world and Bumblebeepaw had just made it better. In truth, it was, because it wasn't like there was much entertainment material that she hadn't already seen fifty times already, but a trial that was sure to end in bloodshed was certainly a step-up. Perhaps they were set up like this, with a crowd, so that the enjoyment factor could be focused on instead of the horrible cruelness of it. If that was the case, Oleanderpaw didn't pick up on it. She said nothing in response as she leaned forward to get a closer look at Primrosetuft as she began to speak.
Take care of them.
From where she sat overlooking the crowd beside Cascadepaw, Snowblister gave a rough, angered snort, close to laughter, though there was no humour to be found. She stepped forward, eyes hooded but alight, staring down at the podium where Primrosetuft sat, pathetic but unwavering. She didn't admire her bravery, her defiance, in the same way she admired Kate's, because where Kate was a spitfire, Primrosetuft was just a thorn in her side. She stopped at the edge of the stand, claws gripping the lip, head lowered and leaning forward, a curl in her lip.
"This is taking too long — clearly you have nothing intelligent to say, and no defense, either. Well —" she stood up sharply, stepping back, "I'm sure Cascadepaw would agree on my sentence," her biting words left no room for an argument, "Primrosetuft, for her disobedience, your treason, your disloyalty, and your stupidity, you are sentenced to execution. I would ask you to say your last words if I cared, but traitors don't get that privilege."
Snowblistered leaned over the edge again, eyes finding Duskpaw where she stood at the side of the stand, hunched in on herself, and she gave the apprentice an encouraging, poisonous smile. "Go on, dear, make my decision worth it."
Once more, she stood back, taking a seat a little way from the edge and waiting, tail twitching impatiently, for Duskpaw to approach. Traitor, she would have thought, had she actually cared for Primrosetuft's loyalty to Kier — it was then, sitting back and staring at the old Loyal Guard's form, did she realize her hatred was entirely personal, not because the she-cat had ever done much to warrant a grudge, but because of her name, her likeness in her dark fur to her own sister. She couldn't look at her and not feel a sickening curl in her stomach, without feeling guilty, and it was that fact that made her arrest Primrosetuft in the first place — it was Kier who decided on the trial, to rid Nightclan of most loose ends from Aspenstar's reign. Looking at Primrosetuft again, she could see the she-cat get smaller and smaller and smaller until she looked like the very shadow that followed Snowblister around, tauntingly, at most hours of the night, the same shadow that never left her alone and swarmed her like an annoying fly. When she blinked, it was fine, and she reasoned that when she got rid of every last reminder, that everything would be fine and she could move on to her life as if it had never happened. Her impatience grew.
Go on, dear, make my decision worth it.
Duskpaw's feet felt rooted the ground, and no matter how much she willed them to move, they didn't. The threat in Snowblister's words was clear, ringing in her ears, and the sound around her almost drained away as her eyes focused on her mother. It was only a few seconds later, when the realization that her lack of action would get her in more trouble set in, that she was able to walk forward. Her pawsteps rung out in the cavern, slow and heavy as if they already carried the weight of murder on her back. She thought of the grave her mother would be laid to rest in. Looking up at the podium, she faltered only briefly before moving to climb it, to meet her mother face-to-face.
At the top, as the crowd stared in anticipation, Duskpaw stopped in front of Primrosetuft, head low and shoulders hunched as if she were the one on trial — it felt like it, all over again, and she couldn't get the image of the young apprentice who had been slain in her place out of her mind.
Stopping, still at the edge of the podium, she stared at Primrosetuft, and she would be entirely still had she not been shaking, but she was utterly silent, mouth agape slightly to let her teeth poke out, brows knit together in a mix of fear and sorrow. She stared at her mother and she couldn't move. If she did, she would have to carry the weight of her murder — it wasn't fair to her, it wasn't fair to her sisters, and it wasn't fair to Duskpaw herself. Her eyes found Pantherpaw in the crowd, then Cascadepaw on the judge's stand. Taking another step forward, it almost seemed like she would strike, finally get it over with to the relief of the anticipating crowd, but then she hesistated, retracting her paw and edging leaning back towards the edge of the podium.
Her voice was hardly above a whisper, quivering and soft and completely, utterly defeated, "I can't." Physically, she couldn't; her paws wouldn't move, her claws itched where they uselessly hid, and the short distance between her and Primrosetuft seemed more like a mile. Mentally, she couldn't, because carrying the weight of that would destroy what little was left. In a flash of motion, Duskpaw turned and ran off the podium, half-tripping down, though it hardly detered her course for the exit, and in the next moment she was gone, leaving behind a yelling crowd, exasperated and confused. The last thing she heard was Snowblister's shouts of 'leave her, leave her,' presumabely to guards or eager warriors ready to catch the two-time traitor. She had disobeyed a direct order, she couldn't do the one thing that would redeem her, she couldn't do anything, and surely she would once more be put on trial with nobody to save her this time — she was supposed to kill Primrosetuft to repay Snowblister for sparing her, but she had failed. Duskpaw ran.