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Aspenstar was either entirely too observant or completely oblivious, to have commanded Sagebristle and Moonblight to walk home together while she traveled with Phantomfox and Larkspur. Sagebristle had been avoiding the tom for weeks at this point, always becoming conveniently busy when he was in the vicinity. It was no fun for her, as she missed their conversations and their witty exchanges- she missed her training partner, her friend.
But good god, it confused her to be around him. Her heart beat faster, her paws felt warmer, her eyes were drawn to every one of his movements. So she'd distanced herself, but that had done very little good, if any. When they were apart, she wondered where he was and what he was doing.
And now they had a hike back to Nightclan together, and Sagebristle wasn't sure what to say. So she said nothing, walking with her amber gaze straight ahead, pointedly ignoring her companion.
Post by achromatic on Oct 18, 2021 18:23:14 GMT -5
"So, what did you think? That was pretty scary, huh?" he asked brightly, completely unaware of the awkward silence that had followed them. As clever as this tom was, he was often completely oblivious to the fact that he could be too distracted for his own good. He was still young after all, and young warriors often made silly mistakes and chatted out of turn, but it was rare even for apprentices to be chatting in the background of some war-declaring patrol or something.
"Do you think they'll actually you know...fight us? I heard they have scary assassins back there; do you think that's true?"
Oh dear heavens- how was he so oblivious? And why did she spend all her free time thinking about a tom this oblivious? Why couldn't he tell that she was ignoring him?
"They might fight us," she grumbled sulkily under her breath. "But we'd win. And god, do you think I know how true their assassin rumors are?" Sagebristle snapped, overwhelmed with all her conflicting emotions, before she quieted down again. "...Sorry. I've got a lot on my mind."
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Post by achromatic on Oct 18, 2021 18:44:55 GMT -5
He frowned. Sagebristle was always grumpy, but hey, he was just trying to make conversation. He knew she had been ignoring him for the past few weeks, staying in SummerClan instead of NightClan. In fact, he had taken a post as a guard for a couple of days just to stay with her, but she had gone on patrols when he was awake, returning only when he was asleep. What was up with her anyways? Did something happen?
His brow stitched in concern. "Is everything okay?" he asked, eyes brimming with concern, "did something happen to you back in SummerClan?"
"No, nothing happened!" Sagebristle snapped again, flushing at the concern in his eyes and staring down at the ground. Before she could stop it, it all came spilling out, to the one cat she felt she could really talk to. "I just- there's so much going on. And I don't always agree with what Aspenstar or Stormstar ask me to do, and I keep seeing Rosethorn and Foxpaw around, and all this going back and forth between clans, and I can't stop thinking about you and it's pissing me off-"
Sagebristle cut herself off swiftly, eyes widening rapidly with the realization of what had come tumbling out along with everything else. Foxdung, she had never ever intended to say that out loud. With a loud, wild laugh, she tried to brush past it. "And that whole meeting was crazy, right? You know maybe that assassin thing is true- do you think they'll send one?"
Post by achromatic on Oct 18, 2021 19:24:31 GMT -5
He had nodded along to her words. He could understand what she meant; he had disagreed with some of the things Aspenstar and Stormstar were doing too, especially with SummerClan, and he knew she always had a close relationship with Foxpaw even if he didn't know the other apprentice well. They had left to SummerClan after some incident, he could remember, but he didn't know why. That must've been difficult too, to be left behind like that...
Wait. What?
His brow furrowed. What was Sagebristle talking about? "You can't stop thinking about me?" he echoed slowly, furrowing his brow. What did she mean by that? His first reaction was to think back to whether he had done anything recently to make her mad, but he had barely seen her the last few months, and...wait. He could remember making a joke about her falling in love with him. His eyes widened and he felt a flutter within his chest.
"Are you in love with me?" he blurted out without thinking. Oh wait, did he just say that out loud? He laughed awkwardly, trying to pretend as if he hadn't just said that. "You know if you wanted to confess your undying love, you could've done it in camp," he teased, trying to get over the fact that his face was heating up.
God damn it. Of course he wouldn't let it go. Sagebristle could feel herself sweating bullets- if cats could sweat and sweat could be bullets- trying desperately to get this spiraling situation under control. "I didn't mean to say that- I meant, er- I can't stop thinking about the pressure of being a loyal guard member? Because we both are?" Was that an acceptable cover up?
His joke made her choke a little, and she delved into a coughing fit as her heart slammed into her ribcage. "It was a slip of the tongue. Let's just... pretend it never happened. What do you think Aspenstar and Phantomfox are talking about right now?"
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Post by achromatic on Oct 19, 2021 5:54:24 GMT -5
He had that grin on his face. "Are you sure?" he questioned, his eyes sly and his whiskers twitching in amusement despite the way his cheeks felt warm, "is that why you've been ignoring me? Or trying to get assigned to SummerClan so much?" She was trying to escape the conversation, but Moonblight wasn't about to let it go.
"Slip of the tongue?" he questioned, "you know that usually means you were thinking about something...I'm a good listener. You can tell me." His expression was serious now. "You know, if you wanted to tell me something, or if there's something I really did to affect you, I want to know."
"I have to use the restroom," Sagebristle said suddenly, unable to speak clearly under his gaze. He was going to make fun of her, or turn her down, or- no, it didn't even matter. She wasn't going to give him the chance, she wasn't going to tell him. The words would never come out. Her mouth was overly dry as she turned on her heel, darting off for the cover of the underbrush.
Sagebristle was faster than him, she knew, and she could've evaded him for a long time if her body didn't feel so weak. She stopped by a small stream, her legs trembling as she sat, staring at the water as her breath came in short gasps. Her mind wasn't working properly- she couldn't think straight, trapped in a spiral of fear and overwhelming dizziness. Her amber eyes darted around, flitting from rock to water to tree as she struggled to think through the tightness in her chest and feeling of something lodged in her throat. Why couldn't she think? What was wrong with her? Why had Moonblight's words made her feel this way? Her one coherent thought was a wish that he wouldn't find her until she could get herself under control, but she knew that wasn't likely.
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Post by achromatic on Oct 19, 2021 6:45:46 GMT -5
He knew she was evading her, but he wasn't going to give up so easily. With a shrug, the tom followed behind, when she darted away. Damn it. Moonblight knew that she wasn't the type of cat who ever addressed anything head-on, and it frustrated him more than anything, but he was persistent. He wanted to get to the bottom of this.
She wasn't the only one, after all, to entertain feelings about their partner. He had long admired her and she was his best friend. He hated the thought that she'd find someone else to hang out with, and hated the thought that she was avoiding him even more. He just wanted to have their relationship–or well, friendship back.
Scouring the surroundings, he followed the scent trail she left behind, trying to pick up the pace and to find her soon, before a league cat caught them on the territory or anything else.
"Sagebristle?" he called out, only to eventually find her sitting by the stream, gasping for breath. His eyes widened in panic. "Sagebristle!" he called out once more, rushing to her side, "are you okay? Did something happen? Please, I just want to help."
The fur along her side seemed to light on fire where he brushed against her, and she struggled to take a deep breath. Sagebristle held up her tail, asking for just a moment, while she forced herself to focus on a nearby rock and take long breaths to slow her gasping. It worked- at least enough for her to speak- but the panicky feeling in her chest was still gnawing at her.
But she knew why now. Sagebristle was forced to confront the fact that she was in love with Moonblight, that she’d been in love with him for some time now. She’d known it, deep down, but had been avoiding it like she avoided all her emotional problems. Despite her best attempts to distance herself from her clanmates, to make herself unlikeable and mean, she loved Moonblight on a level she was terrified of.
“Maybe I like spending time with you, and maybe I like when you bring me flowers. Maybe I even miss you when you’re gone. But I won’t say I love you. You- you can’t make me say it.” Sagebristle said quietly but defiantly, looking thoroughly miserable as she made the statement.
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Post by achromatic on Oct 19, 2021 8:25:14 GMT -5
He had expected her to divert the conversation once more and at this point, his concern overrode the need to hear it from Sagebristle, but she said it. She told him, wholeheartedly, exactly how she had felt. The tom's eyes were wide in surprise as he stared for a few moments, truly processing what she had just told him.
His chest fluttered at that. Oh. He had been planning to do this right, to really woo her and win her over and all of that, but she had just admitted it all to him and gods, he felt so giddy. She wouldn't admit that she loved him, but she had all but done so already.
"What if I say it first?" he asked quietly, tentatively nudging her in an affectionate nuzzle, "what if I say I love you first?"
It wasn’t clear what she had been expecting- a laugh, maybe, a joke, or a polite refusal. Certainly not Moonblight’s own almost-admission. Her mouth dropped open into a little o, and she stared at him, searching his eyes for some hint of teasing. Finding none, her heart turned a somersault in her chest. Joy and terror waged a strange war in her gaze, and she swallowed hard before answering, feeling every nerve in her skin where he had touched her.
“I’d say you were making a mistake,” she answered in a whisper. “I’m no good for you, Moonblight. I’m no good for anyone. Everyone I love leaves me- and I can’t risk losing you… it would be the end of me. Can’t we just leave it at that?”
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Post by achromatic on Oct 19, 2021 10:08:32 GMT -5
He always knew Sagebristle was difficult, and he had assumed that a lot of it was related to being left in NightClan when she didn't want to be, but gods, he just wish she knew that there were cats who really did care about her. She wasn't just some wanderer with no tethers to anywhere in this world; she had friends. She had family, even if it wasn't the one she was born to.
"You're good enough for me," he spoke insistently, "and the Sagebristle I knew wouldn't let the fear of striking out stop her from playing the game, you know. I know how hard it is...being left behind...but you can't let that stop you from living your life, and all I know is that life doesn't last forever, and you're my best friend. Is it really so hard to think that I might care for you the same way you care about me?"
Sagebristle searched his gaze for a long moment, searching for something. When she found it, her shoulders relaxed slightly, a hesitant ghost of a smile on her features. She wanted to ask if he was sure, if he knew what he was asking, but he had been her training partner. He knew her flaws, he knew she was prone to outbursts and flares of temper, he knew what it would mean to be in a relationship with her. And yet he still wanted it, and his gaze was nothing but sincere.
“I believe you,” she said after a moment. “And if you’re sure… I’m willing to try.” There was a flush along her cheeks and ears, a new kind of embarrassment that stemmed from the butterflies in her stomach. And she’d been determined to hold out forever- damn him. Moonblight was the only one who could get through her defenses like this. “But you still have to say it first- and not as a question this time.”
Post by achromatic on Oct 19, 2021 11:22:55 GMT -5
His eyes immediately brightened as she spoke. Moonblight had been nervous to even approach all of this, and he had been prepared for rejection, but her words made him sigh in relief. I believe you. Thank the gods, he thought, as his lips broke into a grin, the goofy, overjoyed expression that seemed too big for his face.
"I love you," he spoke breathlessly, before crowing it out louder. "I love you, Sagebristle, will you be my mate?"
Sagebristle watched as his face broke out into an overjoyed smile, her own features echoing his with a smile that seemed almost shy- a new feeling for her. "I love you too," she said, much softer than he'd said it, trying out the words with a soft glow in her amber gaze. "Yes, of course I will, you absolute dunce."
Oh, was she supposed to do something now? Mates were supposed to be physically affectionate right? That was certainly an area she was rusty in, but she said she'd try and Sagebristle followed through with something when she'd set her mind to it. Uncertainly, almost awkwardly, she stepped forward, resting her cheek against his shoulder and closing her eyes with a soft exhale. As unused to physical touch as she was, it did feel natural to press against him and feel the warmth of his body on hers. "I missed you."
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Post by achromatic on Oct 19, 2021 16:37:06 GMT -5
He couldn't help the way his heart was beating so loudly against his chest as she leaned in, her smile looked more beautiful than anything else right now. As she leaned into his touch, he gave her forehead an affectionate lick. "I missed you too," he admitted, "I was worried you were angry at me when you were out in SummerClan all the time...not to mention how much they hate us, you know?"
Of course, he trusted that she knew how to figure things out and she could protect herself as well as anyone else could, but it didn't prevent him from worrying about her nonetheless. "I'm really glad you said yes, you know," he murmured, "I thought we'd never get to this point."
“I was angry at a lot of things, but not you,” she responded, smiling as she leaned into him, resting in the comfort that the physical touch provided. She thought back to that night when they’d fallen asleep in the log, and flushed. “I never thought I’d get this chance with anyone,” she admitted. “I never planned to. But I’m glad it’s you.”
“So… what now?” She asked, glancing up at him. “I mean… do we announce it? Move our nests together in the warriors den? How formal is this whole process?”
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Post by achromatic on Oct 20, 2021 12:38:38 GMT -5
He could feel his chest rumble with a purr, as he rested his head onto hers with a smile. To be honest, he didn't really know what mates did anyway; he was young and didn't exactly have parents to look up to, being the poor orphan kit he was. He was almost certain that Sagebristle was in the same boat as him.
"I guess we figure it out as we go," he offered with a sheepish smile, "to be honest I don't have much of a reference for how things work...but I'm sure we'll be able to handle anything. I mean, what's love got against the best two apprentices of our class?"
