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(impromptu ber, esh and jester thread because gold i saw u said you wanted more of them and my ass is too lazy to go and reply to our old one uwu THO I MIGHT EVENTUALLY, IT WAS FUN. no idea when this is set, sometime before she one-shots aspenstar- and, scene) goldcrestachromatic
Ah, how things change.
The last time Eshek and Bermondsey saw that little black cat, she'd been tormenting Ber about him being her husband and he'd been insisting (me thinks he doth protest too much) he felt noo attraction to her whatsoever. Now they'd done the do and she was carrying his kits like the scandalous out-of-wedlock, not-couple, best friends they were.
Eshek stood atop a great, tall rock, her eyes closed as she breathed in the fresh leaf-fall evening. "Isn't this lovely?" she asked dreamily, while Ber was probably getting eaten alive by mosquitoes or something. Being pregnant had opened her eyes to the simple beauty of the world and made her more appreciative of everything in it - the small moments, the dew on flowers— okay, not that far. Opening her eyes, Esh looked around happily for a moment, letting out a contented sigh - and then spotted a familiar black shape in the distance.
"THE GODS SEE YOUR CRIMES, JESTER," she thundered in a booming voice, but it quickly gave way to an excited "eeeeeee!" as she jumped in place on the rock. Rushing down it, she jumped past Ber and sprinted at full speed towards Jester. She tackled them to the ground and gave their face a sloppy lick from chin to forehead. "Hi!" Without taking her eyes off Jester, she ordered in a way that was cheerful but that made it clear he was going to obey, "Ber, say hi." Her grin didn't falter for a second.
Luckily for them all, mosquitoes hated the cold and the fall weather had quickly settled upon them, the wet rain of this temperate rainforest and the frosty chill of the cold nights would make anyone miserable, except for Eshek it seemed. Bermondsey still appeared as if he wasn't 100% sure about having these kits at all, but he supposed his whole control freak issue was relaxing a little bit. For now, he'd let the gods roll their dice, and he'd see how they turned out later on.
If the air wasn't so humid, he might've admitted that it was a rather nice day. Still, it seemed as if the grey tom always had something to complain about. "It's not bad," he spoke, squinting as another gust of wind blew past them. The weather was strange during these times; the sun started setting way too early and it was both too cold and too hot, he was never sure whether to stay in or to go out. Still, the warmth wasn't going to last for long, and he might as well make the best of it now.
Spotting the other familiar cat, his whiskers twitched in amusement. So they were still around, huh? It seemed as if Eshek had beat him to it too, tackling the other cat as if she wasn't pregnant at all or putting them in danger by crushing them against this other cat. He gave her a look, but it seemed as if she was unaware. Whatever. It wasn't his loss if they didn't make it, he told himself despite his internal unease.
At her command, he rolled his eyes. "No," he replied flatly just to spite her, but as his eyes met Jester's, he gave the cat a nod, as if they were bros doing that bro nod that only bros knew. Not that he was all that familiar with this cat though. They had just nearly died together down in that underground labyrinth, right?
They weren't exactly sure what had brought them to Primal Instinct again, especially when there was so much more they had yet to see. Their forest was nothing really interesting, though the mountains in the distance were nice to look at, they supposed. But really, what was the harm in hanging around again? There was no other reason, definitively nobody familiar whatsoever. Just Jester having a nice stroll. Something caught their eye; two figures, distant murmured words in voices that sounded vaguely familiar, but they didn't place it immediately. For a moment they paused, staring as if trying to figure out a particularly hard puzzle. Really, it was obvious, but there was no reason not to double check. For no particular reason, once again, it wasn't like they were friends or anything like that.
THE GODS SEE YOUR CRIMES, JESTER. There it was. Her shriek, her almost startling voice no matter the volume. Before they could even respond with anything, they were on the ground, frantically rubbing at their face, "God, I see you haven't learned any manners from the last time we met," they pushed Carriondare off, standing up with as if they had never heard the word 'grace' in their life. Steady now, just in time to catch Bermondsey's nod, they gave one back, the familiar teasing glint in their eyes.
"Well, I hope they're entertained enough." They gave a grin, "Been a while." Had it really? Time was really a blur, wasn't it, they could hardly tell the difference between two months ago and yesterday, hours and days tended to blend together.
God, I see you haven't learned any manners from the last time we met. Eshek giggled, in the way a self-aware, bashful psychopath might giggle. She let herself be pushed off, rolling across the ground before sitting up in one swell swoop with her hindlegs pressed together and outstretched between her forepaws, her toes wiggling in the air. Well, I hope they're entertained enough. Esh squirmed on the ground delightedly. They were so charismatic; if anyone had to do an off-the-cuff narration of her life and give a lot of dry commentary she'd definitely want Jester to do it. Been a while. "Yeah! Bermondsey and I are having babies! He's worried that they'll grow up to be insane and kill him in his sleep but I'm trying to convince him that, why would they wait until he was sleeping? He's so insufferable they'd just kill him in broad daylight during breakfast." Even though Jester always seemed to bring out the worst of her teasing Ber, since their last meeting she'd grown much closer to him and now she looked over at him like she was making sure he was okay, her eyes genuinely caring and gentle for a moment despite her big smile. She knew she was one of the only ones who'd get away with making fun of him like that, especially about the curse that was a source of genuine trauma, and she didn't want to have her privileges revoked.
Rolling over to him, her forepaws holding onto her hindlegs, she bumped into him and came to a stop sitting close beside him. "But they won't," she promised in that same quiet, teasing voice even though her words were genuine, looking up at him. "He's gonna be a great dad and they're gonna love him." Realising she was being mushy, Eshek whipped her head back to grin at Jester. "What have you been up to? Have you been on a pirate ship or gone to space yet? Your fur is looking so shiny, you have to give me your night-time routine. And whaddaya wanna do? Ber won't let me do anything fun anymore because he thinks it's the 18th century and that confinement periods during pregnancy are still a thing." She wiggled her back toes again, still clutching her thighs, and looked up at him adoringly like it was just a cute, oh Bermondsey thing that he'd done. As if she hadn't verbally clawed his ears off when he'd hinted at restricting her freedoms and stopped that train of thought in its tracks. She always was twisting the truth to make someone else look bad for the fun of it.
Bermondsey snorted at Eshek's description of their last couple of months, before grimacing at Eshek's mushy description about being a dad. Yeah, he still wasn't used to that idea; Chelsea's return and her roasting session really confirmed it too. "Yeah, if we're lucky enough, they won't be killing me in my sleep because she'll be giving them a heart attack before then," he grumbled under his breath, knowing very well that Eshek surely would try to claw his ears off for that comment. It was just so hard not to be mean, especially when she was telling everyone some twisted version of his actual advice, that if you were pregnant and wanted to keep those damn kits alive, you'd stop putting yourself in life-threatening situations. Who would recommend a pregnant lady to go on a rollercoaster in the first place? Certainly not the people who operated the rickety theme park.
As much as he absolutely loved Charlotte, getting any real medical advice from her felt like flipping a coin. Heads? You might survive, tails? You're dead. You are so dead. Why risk that anyway? Cat medicine was unreliable.
"Whatever you've been doing, it sure beats miss temperamental over here, the wilds do anything good for you?" he asked in that natural deadpan voice of his, making yet another 'god I hate my wife? ex-wife? what were they anyway?' jokes like the boomer he was, though the fact that he was sticking around probably said otherwise.
"You've got—" His eyebrows raised in disbelief; it was the last thing he had expected to hear, he'd never considered them the parent types. He looked over them again. No need to get caught up on it. He laughed, though there was a slight note of tension there, something that not even Jester had noticed, "They're yours, I'd be shocked if they didn't at least attempt it."
Whatever you've been doing, it sure beats miss temperamental over here, the wilds do anything good for you? He kicked a stray pebble by his foot, "They've been fine. Nothing too interesting, really, thinking about leaving soon," strangely, something inside of him was reluctant about that. Usually he'd have been gone by now, onto the next thing, stepping into another life, but he'd been holding it off. "Actually, I visited Nightclan recently. Well boring, in my opinion, but the lady running the place really is something."
And whaddaya wanna do? "What a drag," there was nothing really mocking about his words, simple light-hearted teasing. Some sort of relationship built of jabs and taunts and nothing else because what else could there really be. Certainly nothing sentimental.
"I was hoping there was something around here, any more secrets you guys got?" While his posture was relaxed, sitting as if there wasn't a care in the world, his eyes lit up at the mention of it. He had enjoyed their last little escapade, even if it had almost killed them, wasn't that the best part?
They're yours, I'd be shocked if they didn't at least attempt it. "Aww," Eshek replied thankfully, like Jester had given them well wishes and a cute little baby jumper. She looked up at Ber with a smile before turning back to the black cat. "Thanks, Jes."
"Nooooo, don't leave! Or if you do leave, come join the League. We have a raffle every Thursday and then you get to kill someone. No we don't, I just made that up, but it sounds good, doesn't it? Can we do that, Ber? Can we have a raffle every Thursday? Will you put your cute little paw print on the documents?" She lifted one of his forepaws and looked down at the dark grey pads adoringly, like she wasn't a cat as well and didn't have the exact same paws. "Widdle feetsies, you're so cute." She dropped his paw and looked back at Jes. "Nice, we're having a raffle, come check it out this Thursday. Don't know exactly when that is but you'll work it out." Actually, I visited NightClan recently. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah, I hate those guys! I haven't killed any of them yet but I'm gonna, I can feel it in the air like a premonition. I'm a witch. Just made that up. But yeah, I hate them. I was there once when Aspenstar got her eye taken out by a dog and it was soo funny. Now I'm on a hit list cuz apparently I fought for the wrong side. Stuff happens, y'know? Heat of battle. How was I meant to know he pushed her in front of the dog? I did, though. Hey, we should go do something funny to them. Like- like bake all their kittens into a pie. Is that macabre? I can't tell." She looked up at Bermondsey for verification. "I like pie. Never had it. Probably like it, though. Oui, oui, ooh la la."
Any more secrets you guys got? "Mmmmmmm." She looked up at Bermondsey again, thinking. Then she turned back to Jes. "Ooh!" She suddenly shook her forepaws really fast from where she was sitting like she was so excited she couldn't contain it. "Wanna go to a haunted corn maze? I once had this crazy dream where I was in SwiftClan with the old leader Cradlegrave and this apprentice called Buckwheatpaw and we-we had a dance-off and were chased by clowns and stuff, it was crazy, but anyway I saw a corn maze near there. You ever been?" She was practically vibrating with excitement, her eyes wide and her teeth bared in a grin, like she was hoping more than anything that Jester would say no.
Post by achromatic on Oct 25, 2021 18:01:30 GMT -5
Honestly, Bermondsey had tuned out Eshek's babbles, like he always did. One day, he was going to miss out on some important information because her voice immediately sent him into his dreamworld, but today was not the day. She was talking about his witty feetsies as he yanked his paw away from her with a growl, but at Jester's mention of NightClan, he raised a brow.
Any information was useful information, especially in a clan he had kept a special eye out for.
He was almost about to ask Jester about it a little more when Eshek was now rambling about a SwiftClan dream...were all of her dreams like this? Did she really live, love, laugh like this? "What's a corn maze?" he asked blankly.
"The League?" She admired her claws, "Not sure if it's my type of crowd, but maybe I'll consider it." She definitely won't, but Carriondare didn't need to know that. Murder wasn't exactly her thing, but maybe she'd make another exception, just for the satisfaction of winning a raffle that didn't even exist.
Jester hummed, listened to her rambles only half-way, the other half occupied with crushing a leaf that looked particularly crunchy. Her face fell in slight disappointment when it hardly made a sound. "Can't blame you," she shrugged. She recalled her encounter with Aspenstar, and while usually Jester held no strong loyalties for Swiftclan at all, the way she seemed to speak their name had struck some sort of nerve within her. She'd tried her best to intimidating, but Jester couldn't quite take her seriously.
I like pie. Never had it. Probably like it, though. Oui, oui, ooh la la. "Oh, you've got to try it. Technically stole it from a human I was staying with a bit ago, but I wouldn't consider it stealing, really." She remembered they weren't too happy about it, either, but it wasn't her fault they had left it in such an easy to reach, tempting spot.
Wanna go to a haunted corn maze? It was almost comical how out of the blue the suggestion was, because really, who's first thought was a corn maze? A haunted one at that—what was with her and haunted things? She couldn't complain much though, it was true, she'd never been, though she wanted to say yes anyway just to see Carriondare's face fall before she was hit with a 'just kidding!' or something.
"Can't say I have," she turned to Bermondsey, having hardly spared him much of a glance at all, he was the quiet type, the one who hardly drew much attention to himself at all, and Jester supposed there had to be at least one reasonable head in a group. She laughed at his cluelessness, "Awe! Look at you're face—it is adorable," she nodded at Carriondare. "It's exactly as it sounds like. A maze—wait for it," a pause for dramatic effect, "made of corn!" Like it was the coolest fact in the world, she spoke slowly so he wouldn't be able to miss a single word. "I assume you know what corn is?"
She was gonna say the League was everyone's type of crowd when she realised SwiftClan was basically the converse of them - the League was a hodge-podge assortment of cats who didn't fit in anywhere else, the place you ended up when you had violent tendencies and nowhere else to go; SwiftClan was where you ended up when you ticked all the other boxes but lacked the violence. So, instead, Eshek made a face like an Oxford professor with a pipe acquiescing to a student's controversial argument, the corners of her mouth pulling down and her forepaw coming up in a slowly-nodding 'okay' gesture.
Eshek laughed, high and raucous and delighted, when Jester explained the corn maze to Ber. "Oh, I love this!' she exclaimed rapturously, springing up and hopping over to Jes like a gazelle. "You, me, my baby daddy escort - the gang is back! Hardly anyone else will make fun of him with me 'cuz they're scared of him. But what's to be scared of?" She slung her paw around Jester's neck and yanked her to her to force the black cat to look at Bermondsey, tilting her head to the side and smiling at Ber without really seeing him, like she was observing a painting hanging in a gallery. It was the equivalent of someone gazing adoringly at their pet rabid dog while they strained and gnashed their teeth and frothed for blood. With a dreamy, contented sigh Eshek turned away, dragging Jester with her like she'd forgotten she was still holding onto her. Jester was the lollipop covered in hair and dirt and Eshek was the little girl dragging it along.
"Where to, partner?" she asked, looking out over the golden, sprawling fields that shone with such enticing adventure in the late afternoon sun. They had the whole night in front of them. "I don't actually know where SwiftClan is," she whispered in Jester's ear, leaning in close, "I just woke up there."
Post by achromatic on Oct 26, 2021 15:27:30 GMT -5
He scowled. "I am not adorable," he replied with the same scowly little pout that had been on his face moments before looking ever so baffled. A corn maze...so one of those yellow things built into an actual maze? "How much corn would you need to build that?" he frowned, "and aren't they round? Won't they just...I don't know, roll off of each other?" It didn't make sense to him. He had yet to see a cornfield after all, only the weird papery yellow thing that they threw into their trucks.
"Oh yeah?" he gave Eshek a sweet, sickly smile, the one he'd use when it was full of malice. "What if I grab our little friend the alarm clock again? I'm sure you'd love listening to that wonderful song I had playing the last couple of nights. Next time I'll hide it somewhere your fat ass can't climb."
Still, he gave Jester a dignified look. "Well go on then, let's see what SwiftClan has to offer," he announced.
"Yeah, you are," they cooed, tapping Bermondsey's face in that teasing sort of way, immediately being dragged away by Carriondare. Sputtering for a moment, less walking and more tripping to keep up, and after a moment they were finally able to push her off. They sat back, dusted off their fur as if the she-cat were particularly dirty. It was something instilled in them since they were young—be perfect, pristine, try to take pride in your appearance, because it was the first thing other's tended to notice about you. As much as they disregarded everything their mother said, it was the one thing that stuck with them.
"I'm sure they use at least ten," they nodded to Ber, almost completely serious in their statement.
Once again ignoring their bickering—though they were quite amused by it—they looked to the sky as if it would give them directions, because sometimes even Jester forgot where Swiftclan was. "I think it's. . . this way." They chose a random direction, only vaguely familiar, a 'hey, haven't I passed that tree before?' type of feeling. Though, no matter which way they turned, Jester supposed they would end up somewhere interesting, even if it wasn't a corn maze.
"It might be a bit messy, we're in the middle of a move." As if they were invited the others into their slightly messy house, "And make sure to wipe your shoes when we get there, we don't want dirt anywhere." That bit wasn't true, obviously. They were sure any group that settled in an old amusement park, filled with rust and molding wood, probably wouldn't mind dirt.
