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Post by Whitemuzzle on Mar 1, 2020 17:50:04 GMT -5
Skypaw's head jerked up when he heard the other cats wail over Coalkit's death. No! It can't be! We saved him, didn't we? His eyes fixed on the lifeless form of the kit laying in the wet sand. Their secret impromptu excursion meant only for fun resulted in a kit's death. Nothing like this was supposed to happen! A rock formed in his stomach as he thought about them having to tell the clan about this. "What are we going to do?" he asked in a voice that was barely a whisper.
Poppypaw looked positively pale. She hadn't been able to move a paw when Coalkit was swept out into the roaring darkness nor did she try to help when he was retrieved from it and dying. As far as she was concerned, this was a cursed place, perhaps her ancestors had been the ones to put up that wall, not the twolegs, "Someone carry Coalkit and let's just get back to camp," She said solemnly, turning around, not wanting to watch the scene behind her. This was so uncool. She hadn't really known the kit but she was distraught over it, although now was not the time to show it. Everyone else was freaking out so she was going to have to be the sane one this time, given that she was among the oldest.
Speckledpaw looked up from hiding behind his paws. Tears stained his face and sand covered his body. He was still soaked from racing into the water to grab Blackberrypaw and Coalkit but it was beginning to dry and a few pieces of fur stuck out in spikes against the rest of his drenched pelt. He wasnt thinking about going back to camp as a hero anymore. Now, he was dreading it. This was suppose to be a fun adventure but it ended with the death of a clanmate. Not just any clanmate, a kitten. They were now going to have to face his distraught mother and admit that the reason her kit was dead was because of them. If they had stayed in camp, Coalkit would still be alive. "Your right. We have to get back. We will have to face them sooner or later. I'd rather get it over with..." With a heavy heart, Speckledpaw rose to his paws and lifted the stiff and cold kit in his jaws. His usually bright green eyes were now dull and full of grief. He hadn't know Coalkit very well but that didn't make this any easier. Coalkit was a clanmate and was also too young to have his life taken from him. He should have grown up to be a warrior or a leader. He should have met a nice she-cat and had a family. But because of them, he would never have that chance again.
Blackberrypaw mewled like a kit as Speckledpaw lifted Coalkit off the ground, sand falling from his drenched pelt. It clung to his little body, making him seem even smaller. Almost newborn. Blackberrypaw struggled to stand, his heart feeling like a stone that was weighing him to the ground. His legs trembled as he took a step forward, leaning on his sister, and not only for physical support. There was a sickness growing inside of him. He couldn’t even imagine Lemonspeckle’s face when they reached the camp. He would know that Blackberrypaw had tricked him away from the entrance. He thought about how heart broken his father would have been if Blackberrypaw himself or Peachpaw had been the one being carried back now. He shivered, not even minding the sand that had worked its way into every inch of his pelt. He followed Speckledpaw across the shifting beach, his head lowered in despair and guilt. He would never live down this night — it would always be his fault. The queens would never let him near the nursery again. Ratstar would make him be an apprentice for the rest of his life. And he knew that he deserved it all.
Peachpaw dreaded what was to come. How would Lemonspeckle react, seeing two of his kits hauling the body of kit into camp? How would he react knowing it was all their fault? Maybe they would be kicked out of the Clan—sent off to fend for themselves. They—she—deserved it anyway. At least Blackberrypaw had tried to save him, that was something Lemonspeckle could be a little proud of. But she? She had sat there, frozen, so unlike a warrior she know wondered if she should become one at all.
Zoning back into the real world, away from her thoughts, Peachpaw nodded her head slowly. She said nothing, still too shocked to speak. They would go back to camp and await any punishment given—any punishment they deserved.
Blackberrypaw tripped as he scrabbled over the fallen wall of rubble. He hardly felt it as his paws scraped open, as his tail fur snagged on a loose twig. He followed Speckledpaw and Poppypaw without complaint, completely numb inside. His ears felt clogged and his paws heavy. He didn’t raise his head or scent the air, but he was vaguely aware of how close they were getting to camp. Suddenly, his skin crawled, feeling as though ice was seeping across his skin. He could feel his father’s gaze, normally warm, full of confusion and concern.
Lemonspeckle froze as he heard the muffled, defeated paw steps coming through the forest toward camp. He knew that it wasn’t an attack — the train of cats was slow and tired. He stood from his perch, his ears tipped forward, when he smelled the scent of salt and two of his own kits. He took a pace forward when he saw them appear. A line of apprentices. Poppypaw, Speckledpaw, with something dangling in his mouth, Blackberrypaw, Peachpaw, and lastly, Skypaw and Turtlepaw.
“What’s going on?” His voice was deep and rough, a lump in his throat though he couldn’t be sure why.
Speckledpaw stepped forward, his ears droopy and his tail dragged the ground. He avoided the warrior's gaze as he came forth and set the lifeless kit before Lemonspeckle. "We-we're so...we're so sorry" he choked out, standing on trembling paws. "There was an accident...we-we tried to save him but...I-it was too late..." his voice shook and cracked, making it hard for Lemonspeckle to even make out the words Speckledpaw was saying.
Blackberrypaw couldn’t look at his father. He slumped down beside Speckledpaw, pressing his nose into Coalkit’s fur and closing his eyes as he breathed in the kit’s scent, diminished by the smell of salt and sand. “He followed us. We didn’t know,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and rasped.
Lemonspeckle stood before the apprentices, the fur raised along his spine. He closed his eyes and nosed Coalkit’s limp body. It was freezing to the touch. The deputy sighed, raising his head to look at the despairing group in front of him.
“Wait here,” he murmured, turning into the camp to fetch Ratstar.
Peachpaw followed reluctantly, making sure she was the last in line. She selfishly feared that, due to her stress, a seizure would occur, but she tried her hardest to push it from her mind. It felt as if a million ticks had crawled under her skin and she was sure she looked insane. She tried to resist—really, she did, but the feeling of dread and that stupid itch wouldn’t leave her alone. Her head jerked to the side. She nearly broke into sobs right then and there. It was too much. It was all too much.
They had made it back to camp, she noticed as they reached the entrance. She braved herself, trying to still herself. Her nose twitched as they faced Lemonspeckle. Peachpaw clung close to her brother. Her throat burned.
“Late—Late! Late, late!” She blurted, tears spilling. She cleared her throat, trying to fight the itch and most importantly the guilt. But her efforts were futile. “We—We—We’re sorry! It was a mistake and—and—“ She cut off, crouching low in shame. Her heart dropped even more when he turned and left, fear draping her in a thick, heavy blanket.
Post by Whitemuzzle on Mar 2, 2020 14:56:49 GMT -5
Skypaw had been bringing up the rear of the small procession, a funeral procession. He walked all the way back with his head down and tail dragging. Maybe he shouldn't have come to SummerClan after his parents died. Maybe he should have stayed a loner and just fended for himself. That way nobody would ever get hurt from his actions. Then a thought struck him. Maybe he should leave SummerClan. Sure he had family here but they were all distant cousins he had just recently met. But then he thought about the friends he made and the comradery he felt from living in a clan. He was having fun, even the work and training were fun. He enjoyed living in a clan. No, he would stay here and face whatever punishment he deserved. Then another thought struck him full in the face. What if his punishment is banishment?
He watched as Lemonspeckle went to get Ratstar. He felt numb from head to tail and it wasn't from his half dried fur.
Usually it wasn't difficult for the new leader of Summerclan to get a deep, restful sleep. The hollow inside the old beech tree wrapped around him like a warm, comforting blanket, silencing even the deepest, harshest anxieties of the day. For even just a few short hours, Ratstar was able to rest easy with the knowledge that he had put his absolute best in for the clan that day, feeling secure in the fact that Starclan was proudly watching over him from Silverpelt above.
But not tonight. Something was amiss tonight.
No matter how hard the tabby tom tried, sleep refused to come to him. He couldn't explain it; there wasn't a single source to blame for his tossing and turning, but rather just an overwhelming sense of...wrong. A nagging feeling, as if there was the tiniest thorn in his bedding, pricking at his skin just when he was starting to drift off.
Finally, after what felt like hours, his single eye managed to flutter closed pure from exhaustion...only to be met with the sensation of being dragged beneath waves, his lungs burning as they screamed for air, but were instead filled with a mixture of water and salt. He panicked: kicking, thrashing about in wild movements to swim back up to the surface...but eventually his body gave out, and darkness overtook him once more...
Ratstar awoke with a start, gasping for breath as tears freely ran down his face. For a few seconds he didn't even know where he was. But he eventually regained his bearing on reality, still greatly shaken by the dream...no, nightmare. "Ratstar?" Turning his head, he recognized the figure of Lemonspeckle standing at the den's entrance, his face lit up by the moonlight. The Leader felt his stomach drop with dread; he had never seen his Deputy cry before. Something had gone terribly, horribly wrong. "Lemonspeckle...what happened?"
Lemonspeckle peered in at his leader, the words stuck in his throat. He cleared it, his fur fluffing up from the chill in the air and the chill in his bones. He paused, wondering how to even describe what had happened when he truly didn’t know much himself.
“We had a secret adventure tonight that went horribly wrong,” he managed. Guilt slammed into him like a tsunami for letting his son distract him while the others had snuck out. And how had Coalkit gotten past? It was a mystery for now. “I think you should come with me,” he added, lowering his voice. This was not something that he wanted to wake the clan for. Not yet.
The deputy turned and let Ratstar out of his den and through the camp entrance where the two warriors came face to face with the apprentices and the small, still body of Coalkit.
Post by Whitemuzzle on Mar 3, 2020 11:33:40 GMT -5
Skypaw was sitting with his head hanging down. Upon hearing paw steps approaching, he raised it a little to see Ratstar and Lemonspeckle arriving. "Now we're gonna get it," he mewed softly. "And we deserve it too." He felt so burdened with guilt he thought he'd sink right into the ground. "I bet they're gonna banish us from the clan forever." He felt worse now than he did when his parents died. At least he didn't cause their deaths.
"I doubt that" Speckledpaw mumbled. "But we are definitely going to get it...I cant even imagine the amount of punishment we are going to receive..." he curled his feathery tail around his paws as he shrank down into his fur. But he wasnt shrinking because of the fear of his punishment. He knew he deserved whatever Ratstar would give him. He was shrinking in guilt. If it weren't for their dumb adventure, Coalkit would still be here.
“It’s all my fault,” Blackberrypaw muttered, the tip of his tail lashing as he slightly raised his head from Coalkit’s body. His voice was strong but rough, as though his throat had been scratched apart by the salt in the water. “This whole thing was my idea. I should have never tried to get you guys to come with me. We should have just stayed in our den like we were supposed to. I’ll take all the blame,” his eyes were burning with tears as he looked at all of them. “I’m really sorry.”
Speckledpaw's gaze hardened. "No!" His voice was surprisingly strong. "We are all responsible for this, not just you! You didn't make us do anything! We all agreed to go with you. You cannot bear this burden on your own, Blackberrypaw. I cant speak for them-" he flicked his tail to the rest of the apprentice. "But I can speak for myself when I say that I will not let you take the blame for yourself. I will take part of the blame, too. I decided it was a good idea despite my best judgements. You were not alone in this adventure and your not alone now. We started this thing together and we will end it together."
Peachpaw shook her head, pressing into Blackberrypaw. “We are all to blame—and you almost died saving him.” She said quietly, her voice breaking. The world around her was beginning to blur. She felt strangely. . . numb. She thought she should have been feeling something—anything—but there was nothing there. Her thoughts clouded all at once and not at all. She couldn’t think properly.
Post by Whitemuzzle on Mar 3, 2020 17:46:08 GMT -5
"We're all to blame," Skypaw mewed dismally. "But I can't help think that a lot of it was my fault. Coalkit may have seen my unexpected foray into the water and thought it looked fun." He recalled how the wave sucked him in and then spit him back onto the shore. He was more scared at that time than what he led his friends to believe. He wouldn't wish that kind of death on any cat, especially a kit.
Blackberrypaw shook his head, but he didn’t say anything. Another feeling apart from grief filled him, and it was gratefulness. Despite what had occurred, they could have all let Blackberrypaw take the blame and clear his conscious, but they would not. Perhaps he might have found true friends among this sad group, but that was a thought for another day. He pushed himself into a sitting position and leaned next to his sister, his shoulder against hers, waiting for his father and Ratstar to appear. His stomach churned uneasily, but he knew it was something they had to face.
