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It was with Sootstep's words still heavy on his conscience that Devotedcrow fled the territory, being mindful this time of making sure everyone was settling down to sleep. He was thankful now that he usually spent his nights in the nursery with Orchiddrop so that no one would notice his absence, with his loyalty under intense scrutiny now more than ever, but this had to be done and it had to be done tonight. When he stepped into SwiftClan's makeshift camp, noting that there were supplies gathered that made it obvious the clan would be moving soon, he made a beeline for the warriors' den and poked his head inside. "Dad?" he called softly. "Captain Desert? Spiritlake? I need you guys."
"It's awfully late for a visit, is something wrong?" Spiritlake had been curled up snugly next to Ghostcrown. Since the two had the same black-and-white coat, when she lifted her head it gave her the appearance of being connected to a much-too-big body. She didn't stay glued to him long, however, as the young Warrior wasted no time stretching to her feet and touching her nose to Devotedcrow in greeting, "I'm hope nothing is wrong with your little ones."
Sleeping beside his daughter was a relatively minor development that meant the world to Ghostcrown. It might take a lifetime to earn back his family's trust in him, but he would fight tooth and claw to make it up to them, and he had to hope that just maybe it was working, and they could forgive his mistakes. He lay beside his daughter with his eyes closed, unable to sleep for the warmth in his heart keeping him awake, treasuring the moment.
"Devotedcrow?" Ghostcrown's ears pricked at the familiar voice and he hurried to his paws, bounding after Spiritlake to greet his son as well. He nuzzled his ear fondly and stepped back to look him over. Healthy as always. "They must not be so little anymore," he reflected with a happy mrrow. "Kits grow so fast!"
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Apr 4, 2021 17:38:02 GMT -5
Desertwind was sleeping away from his father and sister, still to angry with Spiritlake to sleep any where near her. His eyelids slowly fluttered open revealing the golden globes underneath. He snuggled back into his nest putting his paws over his eyes and murmured softly still mostly asleep "Go back to sleep brother" his tail curling tightly around his form "I'm sure whatever it is can wait until morning" in a few moments he was softly snoring again
He felt some relief when his sister and father roused from sleep, greeting them in turn, and prodded Desertwind to wake the last of the family up as well. "This can't wait." There was an obvious urgency in Devotedcrow's breathlessness, something he wasn't even trying to mask. "Everyone is okay... It's just... I've been chosen to be Ratstar's deputy in SummerClan, but there are...certain cats that aren't pleased about that right now. I haven't been there long enough and they want me to prove myself so... After this, I won't be able to come back." It was the last thing he wanted to do. There was a raw pain in his eyes as he glanced between them, feeling his heart sink into his paws as he registered for the very first time the fact that he wouldn't be able to see his family again, at least not for a long time.
Clearing his throat and stabilizing himself, he lifted his chin. "I know you all have roots here now and I know this is going to be a lot to ask, but... I could really use my family right now. I don't have a lot of cats to turn to in SummerClan and it would mean the world to have your support. I understand if none of you want to come, but I needed to ask before I had to say goodbye...again." He swallowed thickly. He'd just reconnected with his family and now he was torn between them and his clan, an impossible choice to make and one that weighed heavily on his heart.
Ghostcrown blinked twice. Had he heard that right? His son was a deputy? "That's great news," he purred, but Devotedcrow's urgency unsettled him, so he held back and didn't hug him or offer any smart comments about how his uncle would react. When the deputy continued, he understood why he had rushed here in the middle of the night.
"I understand," he reassured, his voice quiet as he processed this change. He had only just gotten his son back, could he really stand to lose him? Being this far apart was hard enough, he didn't even have a chance to meet Devotedcrow's mate and kits yet, and now they were going to be separated again. Ghostcrown couldn't let that happen. He had seen the look in his mother's eyes when she thought of their wayward brother, living so far from home or potentially dead, and he still felt the pain of Raystrike's false death. He hated to leave his mother, siblings, and Jetfire behind, but they were all secondary to his kits. He would leave them in an instant.
"What do you think?" Ghostcrown asked, turning to face Spiritlake and Desertwind. Despite fighting to keep his posture neutral, it was painfully obvious that he wanted to go, and his eyes silently begged the pair to come along. "We could be a family again, all of us. Butterkit can come too if she wants." Could he leave these two to go live with his other kits? He wasn't sure. Ghostcrown was desperate to repair his lost relationship with Raystrike and Devotedcrow, but how could he choose them over the kits that had never left him side, had trusted him through everything?
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Apr 4, 2021 19:21:57 GMT -5
Desertwind yawned sleepily as his brother continued to poke him awake. He wasn't easy to rouse once asleep, and his brother's words seemed to blend together as he spoke making it difficult for him to make sense of everything his brother had just said "Don't worry I'll still visit you, of course you have our support" he purred, not understanding the implications that it might have on Devotedcrow now that he was SummerClan's deputy. In his mind not a whole lot had really changed other than his brother wanting him to come and see him more often "Who would have thought? I'm a captain, Raystrike is a ray, and now Devotedcrow is a deputy" he turned his eyes onto Spiritlake "I guess your the odd one out sister" he said smugly, being careful not to wake up Butterkit that snoozed on top of his form
"Desert." Dropping all the honorifics, he silently urged his brother to understand the gravity of his new situation, which would not so easily be solved by them visiting SummerClan instead of Crow visiting SwiftClan. Sootstep was already weaponizing Raystrike's presence and loyalties against him; he had no doubt the tom would have something to say about this too. "When I leave here tonight, you won't be able to visit me either. You won't be able to meet Orchiddrop or the kits. You won't be able to see Ray either. Not...for a while, at least. I don't know when. Look," he sighed, "I know Ratstar doesn't have a problem with this, but the clan does. They're not sure if they want a deputy if they can't be sure I'll choose SummerClan over my family." And he had to ask himself, could he?
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Apr 7, 2021 12:42:10 GMT -5
“And why not?” He replied, blinking looking at Devotedcrow with utter confusion “The more you talk, the more SummerClan sounds like SunClan...he paused tilting his head to the side “Summer..Sun...” hmf, that had to be more than a coincidence “If they are that controlling maybe you should just bring Orchid and your kits here” he suggested, “you may not be deputy here, but they won’t tell you who you can and can’t see” His eyes widened “they aren’t holding them captive are they? Don’t worry brother, uncle firetooth are really good at rescuing queens and kits” he scrambled to his feet unceremoniously rolling Butterkit into the nest “Let’s go get him and come up with a rescue plan! Don’t worry, if they could pull Jetfire out of a fire unconscious they can get your mate and kits out to!!”woofTigerclover
Spiritlake's ears were pinned back slightly, her blue eyes boring into Devotedcrow's, cold as frost-bite. She was proud of him, of course, but whatever admiration she'd had for her brother was overshadowed by just how revealing the request he made of her was.
"Sneaking around in the night... begging us to come live with you, so you don't have to choose between your Clan and your family... it's pathetic. When the cats in SummerClan called out your alleged divided loyalty, I'll bet you lowered your head and told them they were right to be concerned. You probably even apologized. What you should have done is looked them in the eye like I am you and told them to shove it. Ratstar chose you for a reason, and it was a good one, I'm sure. But it doesn't really matter what I think or what you think or even what he thinks. Every decision leaves hurts someone and those someones are always the loudest."
Spiritlake lowered her head slightly and her expression relaxed some. She was aware that her fiery temperament had caused a rift between her and Desertwind and she was not looked to have that kind of relationship with her other brother, too.
"Don't give those who speak against you an inch because they'll take a mile. Instead, just prove them wrong," She leaned forward and lightly touched her nose to his, "I love you, Devotedcrow, but don't make me choose between my home and my family."
Spiritlake's words stung, enough to keep him from smacking some sense into Desertwind, but they were earnest and they were right. Except Devotedcrow was not mature enough to accept that, damn it! "You've made your choice then," he replied coldly, feeling as though something was coiling around his heart and threatening to squeeze the life right out of it. "It might be pathetic to come begging for you, but I'm not doing it for nothing. Do you think I want to do this? Not every clan can be SwiftClan and be merry about cats leaving whenever they please for whatever they please. Some of us have to prove ourselves at some point." And suddenly, he wasn't just talking about SummerClan and Sootstep and the division forming between him and his new home. He was speaking back to an old wound, one almost as old as he was.
Crow always felt the need to prove his worth and earn his place. He felt a drive to be worthy like none other and would stop at nothing to achieve that, even if he never felt satisfied with his accomplishments. His curse, his name, the effects of SunClan's treatment of him would follow him for much of his life, an.insufferable poison in his veins. It was his fuel, but it was also his fuse.
"This is my opportunity to be what no one expected me to be and it's in jeopardy. I'm sorry if that scares me and I wanted to have my family close by, rather than having to guess where they might be. I suppose I'll see you when I see you then." He glanced between them and then turned to leave, his pelt prickling from the intensity of his feelings.
Ghostcrown's face fell and he was forced to look away from his family. He knew it wasn't fair to ask his family to leave. They had already switched clans once for him, and he was eternally grateful for that. But they had a life here now. Desertwind had a kit to raise, and he had friends in the clan he wouldn't want to leave. Traveling was good for the innovative young warrior, there would always be some new discovery for him to explore.
And Spiritlake, she wouldn't let herself be pushed around. He was proud of the strong cat she'd grown into. She had her mother's ferocity and his loyalty, but she had her own limits, and she knew what was best for her. It didn't surprise Ghostcrown she wanted to stay with the clan she knew best. SummerClan was foreign to all of them, and they hadn't lived with Devotedcrow and Raystrike for moons. He couldn't ask them to leave. But he couldn't go without them, either.
Ghostcrown lifted his head as he heard his son turn to go. "Wait," he insisted, darting toward him. He blocked the entrance to the den and looked back at his family. "Nobody is being held against their will," he assured Desertwind first, fighting to keep calm. "Not even Devotedcrow, though I'm really, sorely tempted. I could block the den entrance as I used to when you were younger. Remember that? When I'd haul a branch in front of the nursery so you couldn't sneak out?" Ghostcrown smiled tearfully, remembering how upset the queens had been. "I can't force you to stay here, and I can't force them to leave. Please don't be mad at them." His voice trembled. "I used to think I had something to prove too. To my clan. To my father. But Devotedcrow, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. You're going to be a great deputy. We'll see you at every gathering, and as soon as you're ready, we'll be waiting at the border to visit you. You will be great," he promised again, fiercely. "I know it."
He hesitated then, at a loss. Had he said the right thing? He had never been as eloquent as Firetooth, especially not now. His heart was breaking, he was losing his son again, and there was nothing he could do. No. Unlike last time, he could leave now, he could go home with Devotedcrow, and he was choosing not to. He hated that he had to make this choice, but he couldn't abandon Desertwind and Spiritlake now. He owed them better than that.
"No, I didn't make a choice. You made it for me," Spiritlake said sullenly, raising her paw to her eye to wipe away the tear she hoped no one had seen, "Just please promise me one thing before you go... stop apologizing for who you are."
She put her paw back on the ground and turned to look at Ghostcrown, only to realize that he had moved. The fur along her neck began to raise as she realized that he had chosen to pursue Devotedcrow. Her life was basically a bonafide sitcom, huh? She decided to hold her tongue and just watched the rest of the play out since she'd already made her case and had nothing else to say.
"Don't come to the border." Ghostcrown sounded genuine and optimistic underneath the sadness in his mew, but Crow had walls up now that prevented anything from reaching him. "I'm here pleading for your help when I need it most, not as an afterthought like we were. I wouldn't be forcing an impossible decision on you if I didn't need you with me. So don't come stop by when everything's all good and the hard part is over." He didn't care if he was being callous or unreasonable. He'd only left his family due to a feeling of betrayal, hearing Ghostcrown say he was there to rescue Jetfire and his kits could choose to tag along. They'd been optional, but Crow still was. "This will be the last time I come here as a family member. The next time, it will be as SummerClan's deputy. I should return home now," he growled, indicating his father should step aside.
Devotedcrow's words tore at him like claws. He wanted to go. Devotedcrow needed him, but did the others? Desertwind would be fine on his own. He might not even notice if his father left. Ghostcrown could leave now, return to this new clan with his son, help raise his grandchildren and settle down for a new life. It would be nice, having a home again, not having to be constantly on the move. He hadn't planned on staying in SwiftClan long anyway, he had assumed his kits would return to their clan soon enough, and Jetfire wouldn't need him once she was rescued.
But as he looked past his son to study Spiritlake, he knew he could never leave her now.
"Someday, I'll be ready to leave," he murmured. "When your borders open again, I'll be there. It would be an honor to serve under you. Even if you don't see me as your family anymore." Finally, he did step aside, but his eyes desperately sought his son's, one last silent plea for forgiveness, however undeserved.
Woo boy. Spiritlake was right; this family was a freaking melodrama. Honestly he was pretty sure Swiftclan only kept them around for entertainment value at this point. Firetooth had been sitting right outside the den's entrance, listening in just out of sight of his brother, niece, and nephews. There were quite a few times where the fiery Medicine Cat considered stepping in, but after everything they'd gone through, he knew better than to interfere. Ghostcrown had been insistent that he needed to atone for his kits' perceived abandonment on his own. Firetooth respected his brother for that, and decided to hold his tongue at his own personal experience of being separated from family in a different clan...when Breezestep and Ghostcrown had refused to leave Sunclan with him. At the time, he'd been devastated and resentful, but in hindsight he respected the difficult choice the two of them had made. Devotedcrow would understand, in time.
Of course, being empathetic didn't mean he was gonna go any easier of him. When it looked like his older brother had lost his will to stand up to his son, he decided it was tough love time. "Devotedcrow? I think he'd have been better off named as Devotedduck," he snarked, alerting his presence to his family. "As in: you should've gotten your ducks in a row long before you took responsibility over an entire clan. Don't you dare try and put blame on your father and siblings after giving them an impossible choice. You're a birdbrain for thinking the fickle opinions of your clanmates are more important than being loyal to those who genuinely love you."
"Holy Sun God in all his grace, you walk too damn fast..." And Raystrike came to join the party, maybe even blow it up even more. Really, probably that last one. Her smoke-scared lungs still making these long treks a hazard, she panted as she made her way onto the scene. "Just gimme sec..." She took a deep breath in, and out. In, and out. "I just got here, but... I'm in agreement with what Ugly's Brother here has to say. " She gestured toward Firetooth. "They have their own lives in SwiftClan. You can't expect them to uproot and go with you." The silver bengal walked up to and swatted her brother across the face. "They're still family, ya Devoteddingus! Don't give'em any of that crap about not being family. Or am I not family because I'm a Ray?"
He wrenched past his father, not bothering to acknowledge his words or his promise, and pushed into the SwiftClan camp, only to be halted in his tracks by the medicine cat. His rage peaked as he listened to Firetooth speak, and truthfully very little of what the tom said held any weight to Crow, who had no relationship with his uncle. He knew of him, but that was all. He was prepared to interject and fire something back when Raystrike approached from behind, startling him, and he reeled when she struck him. "Don't touch me," he snapped, instantly regretting it but feeling cornered by her and Firetooth, backing himself away from them to get some breathing room.
His anger seemed to diminish some. Not fully, because he still had something to say to Firetooth. "I don't care how right you might be, but you definitely aren't my family. You might be my father's brother, but I don't know you and you don't know me. Shove it." That was about as mature as that conversation was going to get.
When he looked back at his sister, Crow softened considerably, enough to allow him to seek Ghostcrown's gaze and offer him a nod, though it was clear there was still unresolved hurt behind his wildfire eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said and I'm sorry for my request. I can't say I'm not hurt by your choice, but I'll respect it. But I won't be coming back," he added, resolute. No matter what they said or how they judged him for his submission, nothing could erase his fear of losing the blessing of his clan, because if he were to lose that, he feared losing the respect of Ratstar and himself. Crow still wasn't sure how his family's love could outweigh the support of the clan he hoped one day to lead, not while they were in a completely different clan themselves. If he weren't so wounded by Firetooth's interjection and mockery of him, maybe he would have asked.
If Firetooth was effected by Devotedcrow's harsh words at all, he didn't show it. In fact, the Medicine Cat seemed to smile a little at the hotheaded Deputy. "I wasn't aware there was a rule that life advice could only be given by family," he remarked to Ghostcrown with almost playful incredulousness, raising a brow at his nephew. "You'd think that my being older, a Medicine Cat, and someone who's lived in three different clans separated from my siblings would make me worth listening to, but what do I know? I feel sorry for Graythorn though; he loves giving constructive criticism." Striding past Devotedcrow, he turned his attention to the brand-new cat who happened to slap Crow in the face and call him Devoteddingus. Truly, a feline after his own heart. "And you must be Raystrike, is that right? I've got some herbs to help out your breathing for the trek back to Summerclan, if you need them."
Post by Tigerclover on Apr 11, 2021 12:22:41 GMT -5
Butterkit's eyes flew open when she toppled off of her papa into the nest. her face scrunched as she scrambles to her paws and looks around trying to figure out what had just happened. Of course, she couldn't see anything but the nest. She scampers to the edge of the nest and eventually manages to make it onto the edge hanging there for a second then of course she falls over to the ground outside of the nest with a thud. Butterkit immediately jumps to her tiny paws and scampers over to the entrance to see who or what the weird voice was that had come there and inadvertently interrupted her peaceful sleep that she was finally managing to get in a very long time. She weaves her way through until she reaches where the strange voice was coming from. She stops with a tiny stomp of her paws and looks up at the towering cat with an angry glair in her bright eyes, then smacks his foreleg with her tiny paw without a peep and she stomps her paws again keeping her gaze locked on the tom. Ok, Mr. I'm waiting on an apology for the disruption of my sleep and for you upsetting my papa and everyone else. she says internally fussing at him expecting him to answer her even though she hadn't said a peep aloud.
