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[Suicidal thoughts trigger warning] Jetfire's eyes followed after Mountainsound as she was left to rest in the nest that she shared with Bloodystar after collapsing at the morning prayers. Ghostcrown was set to be executed the next morning... All because she had tried to take her own life and he had been kind to her. Her heart was heavy, and she knew that she had to stop this from happening. She couldn't let him die because of her mistake, he had kits of his own and was single dad. Without him, they would have no one. She made up her mind, a new determination setting in. She would stop this, not matter the cost....
As soon as Bloodystar came to her she looked him in the eyes "You know Ghostcrown didn't do this, let him go"
"It doesn't matter what the truth is. A crime has been committed and the Clan needs answers. For their sake, and your sake, Ghostcrown did it."
He sat down next to Jetfire, but did not touch her, knowing that she wouldn't want that right now. He didn't blame her. He'd nearly lost a friend to a public execution, too. It sucked. But there was a method to his madness.
When Bloodystar spoke next, his tone was softer, more honest, like the tom he used to be before he carved the moon into Littlecrow's forehead, "If your kits knew the truth, they would hate you and curse your name. The Clan would see you as a basket-case and a hazard. There is always a price to be paid, and I picked Ghostcrown's life to protect our family."
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Sept 26, 2020 23:03:05 GMT -5
“No you choose him, because you knew it would hurt me” she bit her bottom lip nervously, despite her determination to be strong a tear slid down her cheek “Bloodystar, how much more do you plan on taking from me? How far are you willing to go to get your way?” By the time she finished she was sobbing, tears following the same track that had begun to stain the fur under her eyes “I have nothing else to give you” she choked out “why can’t you just let me go? You have already broken my body, my mind, and my spirit. I was willing to die to get away from you, yet even that couldn’t free my from your torment” it was the first time she had been able to admit to what she had done “I can’t do this anymore” she laid her head down upon her paws, claws tearing at the soft flesh of her cheeks “what ever others may think I won’t let him take the fall for me” desperation glimmering in her gaze “I will rip these bandages and march out there to tell the clan the truth, even if it kills me. She was almost in hysterics bubbly laughter coming from her lips as she tried to rise to her paws through the pain “Your nothing but a monster incapable of mercy”
She was more lost than he thought. Looking at Jetfire break down like this, well, it would pull at any cat's heartstrings, and for the first time in a long time Bloodystar felt... guilty. But the emotion was fleeting, the chaos in his heart had infected his soul, if he turned back now he'd be in worse shape than his broken and sobbing wife. So he sealed it away. It was easy, he's being doing it since his mother dumped him in SunClan as a kit. It couldn't last forever, of course, but it had worked this long.
"It'll be okay," Bloodystar said, gently pulling her claws away from her face, "Ghostcrown is one of many sacrifices that have been made in SunClan for generations. Our decisiveness is what makes us strong. But I will tell you what... I exiled Foxbane for far worse crimes than the one that Ghostcrown 'committed.' I'm not opposed to exiling him as well. I can be merciful..."
He paused, letting his suggestion sink in before he gave it life, "... so long as you work with me here."
She wouldn't have listened to a word he said, but she was to weak to even hold up her own weight causing her to fall back into the nest with a dull thud as she tried to stand, the blood from her cheeks smearing onto Bloodystar's pelt as her face pressed against his shoulder. She pushed weekly against him with her paws, before continuing to hit against his shoulder repeatedly like a child throwing a tantrum. There was no strength behind her blows, as he paws merely glanced off her shoulders causing her wound to ooze but the new stitches Mountainsound had place still held. The tears falling freely now "Stop pretending to care and making excuses!" she wailed "You are not doing this for SunClan, you are doing it for you!" her paws continuing to rain down upon him as she spoke
"i used to admire you, but your not the same cat that you used to be" her blows getting weaker each time they connected"You were the cat I turned to when I needed someone the most, the one cat I thought I could trust to help me raise my kits. I trusted you to take care of us, and all you have done is torture my family. My mother, my father, my siblings, my niece, my nephew....me" her paws came to a stop unable to keep it up, her strength failing, collapsing into a heap of fur and tears "The cat I went to that day wouldn't force cats into marriages. The cat I went to that day would have never been so cruel to his mother and mentor. The cat I went to that day... He wouldn't execute his wife's only friend and comfort, leaving SunClan kits with no parents. He wouldn't have kept kits away from their their mother. And most importantly he would have never hurt his wife in the ways you have hurt me"
"Knock it off, you are just going to reopen your wounds," Bloodystar said although he let her keep hitting him. His delicately applied body pain was smeared and twisted into messy shades of orange and brown with some of Jetfire's blood mixing into it all, but even then, he stayed resolute. If this is what made her feel better than he'd bear it.
"I'm still that same cat. Jetfire, it's you who has changed. You used to be so vibrant and full of life. Playful, cheery, you are still beautiful but I haven't seen you smile in moons. Watching you wither away like this breaks my heart, as does what you just said to me. Don't you think all of this has been hard on me, too? I loved Littlecrow like a mother, in fact, I loved your family as if it were my own and still do. But my heart has always belonged to the Sun God first and foremost. He choose me as the Priest Promised all those moons ago because he knew I would stand up for him when no one else would. Everything I do for him, and I do it for you, too, our kits and our kits to come. You feel hurt now but that's not my intention..."
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Sept 27, 2020 12:11:46 GMT -5
Jetfire sobbed hear sides heaving from the effort of of the blows, the pain coursing through her limbs and sides despite the pain killers she had been given. Her words sinking in, and despite all her anger and pent up rage she believed him. This wasn't an act, not this time. The words he spoke rang true, sending pangs straight through to her heart as he laid out his feelings before her, feeling the raw emotion in his voice. It didn't stop the swirling storm of emotions that raged within her though, the harm had already been done
"If what you said is true then prove it" she pushed away from him, turning onto her side so that her back was to him with a huff "Don't just whisper sweet towards, do something about it. Show me that you mean what you say, do something for me instead of for yourself for once. Let Ghostcrown go..." her heart couldn't take being broken any more, the thought of the gentle tom who had helped her through her heartache. The though of his kits being left without any parents in SunClan "If he dies, I'll soon follow"
Bloodystar responded by pulling away from Jetfire and padding out of his den. He returned and repeated the motions three more times until all four of Jetfire's kits were lined up on the warm sandstone floor. Unseenlights hovered in the background - she'd been pretty adamant about not moving the kits, but the High Priest always got his way - and Bloodystar used the amulet to make sure she would be unable to make out what he was saying even though her ears were sharper than most.
"Are these kits not proof enough? If I had not done what I did, they would not be alive. A hard decision. In the moment I had to choose between you and them. Praise the Sun God he let me keep all of you... but there will be costs... This little gray tom has already had numerous seizures. The sandy-furred she-cat seems to have some sort of breathing condition," His gaze genuinely softened as he looked at them and the cat she knew before all this happened had returned. She'd known he'd be a good father an he was, always checking in on them, making sure they were safe an healthy. Bloodystar gently stroked the back of the white-furred tom kit with his paw, "I decided not to name them. I want you to do it, so they will grow up knowing that their mother loved them. It's all I have left from my own mother... my name, I mean..."
He returned his gaze to meet Jetfire's.
"But what will happen if the knew the truth? That their own mother tried to kill them before they even breathed their first breath. If I don't punish some cat for what happened to you and them, then they will live in fear that the murderer will come back for them or, worse, find out that the murderer was you all along. They will hate you, and rightfully so. Executing or exiling Ghostcrown is the only way to give them the life that they deserve."
Jetfire closed her eyes, as Bloodystar rose to leave her heart aching. Even after all that he had put her through, he could even fulfil the one request she made of him to save Ghostcrown. The glimmer of hope she had seen in his gaze quickly fading, not even having the courtesy to give her an answer. Then the shrill sound of kits reached her ears, as Bloodystar appeared laying down the newborn at her side. Followed by another, then another, and another, until all four of the blind and helpless newborn were laid out before her. She was already crying again by the time that the last kit was placed beside it's sibling, her heart shattering into even more pieces as she spoke of their ailments. Until now she new that she had kit, but having never laid eyes upon them it had been easy to push them away. To tell herself that she had done the right thing by trying to kill herself and her litter. She began to quiver, looking at the long lives that she had almost taken. The way that Bloodystar gazed upon the with love in his eyes, a protectiveness she hadn't seen from him since her sister passed...
Guilt ate away at her. So many cats had suffered because of her own selfishness. Her ear fell flat, gaze falling to the floor "Then exile him" she finally muttered the words barely audible "Just don't take his life... I'll do whatever you need of me, just don't kill him.... please?"
The truth was that Bloodystar did't really want to execute Ghostcrown. For one he didn't perceibe the black-and-white tom as even remotely a threat, but also he could recognize that that tom's existence was integral in controlling Jetfire. He'd stopped her from ending her life before so in many ways he held her life in his paws. While exile wasn't an ideal option for him either, it would surely prove a point the Jetfire, namely that Bloodystar could be reasonable. Giving the small victory was one way to keep her spirits up while also keeping her in line.
He stroked one of the kits along its back. The little thing let out a squeak but calmed down quickly, he had a soothing touch, it was hard to believe he was talking about life and death at the same time, "But you will need to do your part too, you know. I'm not an idiot. The cats of SunClan seem to trust you more than they trust me."
