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"I've seen enough." Her words were curt as she waved her tail to conclude the final assessment. "I've seen what I needed to see."
Aspenstar's gaze was locked on Sagepaw, it had been for the last hour as the apprentice had her final chance to demonstrate her skills. Her expression betrayed nothing about what she thought of the she-cat's performance, lest she sway the other's perception of how she did. She sat down, before motioning for the apprentice to do the same. Her tail wrapped around her paws and the leader tilted her head to the side. Her gaze never moved from the apprentice, although her posture relaxed slightly. Still, the look in her gaze was expectent; it seemed that there was still more to this assessment, after all.
"Did you pass the examination? If you did, what were your strengths? What errors did you make? If you didn't, what caused you to fail?"
This was Sagepaw's final test. You see, Aspenstar had not quite made up her mind about Sagepaw. While she knew that her training partner, Moonpaw, had the aptitude to be put on the Loyal Guard, she had remained unconvinced that Sagepaw had what it took. It wasn't that Aspenstar doubted that Sagepaw was skilled enough to enter her guard; no, Sagepaw was more skilled than even Moonpaw, who had a definite position. So why, then, was Aspenstar unsure? She had reservations because Sagepaw constantly acted as if she had something to prove. The perpetual chip on her shoulder made her a bully, one who peacocked to hide what Aspenstar could only assume were the same insecurities that the leader herself felt. Aspenstar wasn't sure that Sagepaw could put this aside. If she was to succeed on her guard, Sagepaw would have to be able to put that part of her aside in order to make sound and unbiased assessments of the situation around her. This was her test. You see, Aspenstar wasn't looking for Sagepaw to be aggressive or hyper defensive. Sagepaw didn't need to defend her performance. Instead, she needed to make a fair assessment of her strengths and weaknesses. If the apprentice passed the assessment, she would know. The results of the initial assessment were crystal clear. So, instead, she just needed to be honest and humble about what went well and what didn't. If she couldn't do this, Aspenstar would definitively know that the young she-cat hadn't matured enough to enter the guard. If she could, if she impressed the fawn colored she-cat enough, the position was hers. Of course, though, Sagepaw didn't know this, didn't know that her future quite literally hung on this moment.
Sagepaw stopped her demonstration as soon as Aspenstar spoke, her sides expanding with her quickened breathing. She sat, tucking her tail over her front feet, and listened with an attentive gaze as the question was posed. The she-cat, though she was warrior aged now, was still undersized- as she always would be. But she'd learned to use that to her advantage in her trainings with Larkspur, Moonpaw, and Phantomfox. Her hunting had always been her stronger skill, but no one could deny that she'd trained like crazy over the moons of her apprenticeship, and the fighting style she'd shown off today was something completely her own. Instead of relying on brawn or strength, she'd been intuitive, precise, and wickedly quick with her blows.
Of course she'd passed. Sagepaw knew she had. If anyone other than Aspenstar or Larkspur had asked her that, she probably would've bragged about it non-stop. It was only because of her respect, and (dare she admit it?) admiration of the two she-cats in leadership, that she didn't peacock now.
As it was, she took a moment to collect her thoughts. Though her size hadn't changed, her demeanor had shifted slightly in the last moon. The emotional fire that had driven her had mellowed into a slower, more bitter ember that glowed in her stomach. She'd been less angry and antagonistic and more sullen, more self-deprecating than anything else. She'd been a bully because she wanted to keep others at a distance, so no one had the power to hurt her ever again. And yet, when Rosethorn had left, that had hurt almost as bad as the first time someone had abandoned her. Sheer aggression hadn't helped the pain any more than her original sweet disposition with her father. Sagepaw wasn't sure who she was becoming any more, but she did know Aspenstar had asked her a question and she needed to answer.
"I passed," she said, her whiskers twitching thoughtfully. "I made no errors during the hunting session. My fighting demonstration was good, but I misjudged my footing during the dodge move I did towards the end. It was clumsy, and left my right side open to attack. I should've planted my feet wider, especially considering the mud from the recent rain- it would've strengthened the stance and given more power to the counter-strike I executed after. But," Sagepaw added with a smile twitching on her lips. "I was good. You can't deny that, Aspenstar."
Her tail twitched. On one hand, she was actually quite impressed with the apprentice's ability to reign in her normal disposition. Maybe she had been too hard on the youngin', after all. She'd have to remember to congratulate Larkspur on taming a beast. On the other, though, she was mildly amused at her last comment. You can't deny that, Aspenstar . Ah, yes, there it was, Sagepaw's charm. It had been that charm that had drawn Aspenstar to the young kitten the first day she got there; it wasn't every day, after all, that a half-starved pile of fur came to NightClan swinging so hard from the get go. It had been endearing, and Aspenstar wasn't lying when she said there was a part of her that was proud to have had the chance to watch her go from Maia to this.
She gave the apprentice a half smile and a nod. "Correct," she meowed. "If this had been a real battle, I would have been able to easily subdue you. However, other than that moment, you did an agreeable enough job. I can see that Larkspur was the one to teach you to hunt, though; your form is impeccable." It was rare for Aspenstar to give such a large compliment. Sagepaw should consider herself lucky.
"I assume you've been told that you and Moonpaw were the top training pair?" she asked, her voice curious if Sagepaw would pick up on the sublte note in her voice. There was a proposition there, if only Sagepaw could locate it.
Sagepaw puffed a little with pride at Aspenstar's words, resisting the urge to wriggle with glee. This was the payoff for her moons of hard work, her dedication to training. She had wanted to be recognized, and here it was, and it felt better than she had imagined. Then those words, those magic words- top training pair.
The tabby nodded, then paused, clearing her throat. "I heard that, but I was wondering... doesn't only the top apprentice get the offer of the Loyal Guard?" Sagepaw had hyper-focused on that opportunity from the second she'd heard about it. Of course she knew that the top apprentice often got an offer to join the Loyal Guard. That had been her chance to prove that she was the best, that she was indispensable, that no one should ever try to get rid of her again. To think that she hadn't gotten the position was soul-crushing. "So... which of us is it?"
Aspenstar blinked at the other's sudden eagerness. It was the same eagerness that perhaps she had when she had been top of the class herself. It was endearing to see Sagepaw get all worked up; the pure excitement of youth was a breath of fresh air to the she-cat who had now grown far too familiar with the warfare of adulthood.
"On a normal occasion, yes, there is only room for one," she meowed with a flick of her tail. "Although it isn't necessarily top apprentice out of the pair, rather, sometimes, it's which of the pair I believe would best fit the role." Leading the she-cat on in the manner the leader was was probably a little bit cruel, but Aspenstar couldn't help it. It was fascinating to watch the younger cat's reaction. "While you are the top apprentices, perhaps the best I've seen since becoming leader, you were not my first choice for guard."
There was a pregnant pause as she let her words sit in the air. It was probably a damning reality, and she could imagine if she didn't speak quickly, the apprentice was going to have a nervous breakdown. Yet, she waited another beat before continuing. "For that first role, I selected Moonpaw. Despite his lesser skills, he was the better fit to the guard." Her tail flicked back and forth, her gaze trained on the younger cat. She imagined that at any moment, Sagepaw would interrupt.
"That doesn't mean that I didn't want you on my guard, though. It came down to my fear that you were not ready, were not mature enough, to lay down your life at the door. Membership of the Loyal Guard costs a life; at any point, my guard may be called to put theirs down for me or another member of the clan. It is their job to act without challenging the order. I was unsure if you were ready to do that." Aspenstar didn't dare say that there was a part of her that still was.
"As you may or may not know, Z has elected to leave us," she meowed, the topic changing fast enough to cause whiplash. "This leaves an extra position, one of particular importance. Any time that Phantomfox was busy, any time I assigned him a mission or that he was with his family, Z served as my personal accompaniment. Now," she paused, tilting her head, "this loyal guard position has historically been given to a feline who has the most skill and dedication to the cause. However, for our purposes, I was thinking that it could serve a slightly different purpose. If you step into that particular position, it would give us all the time in the world for one on one examination. Until I am absolutely sure of your dedication to the cause, it will allow me to keep a close eye on you. This would be good for me. If you step into the position, this would place you at the top of the guard's heirarchy because it suggests I trust you most with my safety. This would be good for you. It's a win-win."
Sagepaw was honestly and thoroughly befuddled about how she was supposed to be feeling right now. There was the elation of being recognized as the best apprentice Aspenstar had seen as a leader followed immediately by the revelation that she was not the first choice for the Loyal Guard position. It didn't really make sense in her head. Be strong, be chosen, right? That was the deal she thought she'd signed up for. Now there was all the hub-bub about dedication to a cause. Wasn't being talented and choosing to stay in Nightclan cause enough?
Sagepaw was more than willing to die for the cause. Perhaps it didn't come off that way, but some days dying seemed easier than living. It would be one way to eternally solidify the respect she craved. Though that didn't sound quite right, so she didn't vocalize that part. Instead, she spent a minute working through the proposition Aspenstar was making.
"So... I get to join the guard, be- what, second in command, basically? In charge of your safety? Because I'm strong. But I also will be watched until you're sure I'm fully dedicated to the cause? Because I'm less mature than the others? Just confirming that I'm fully understanding what you're saying." The russet apprentice spoke slowly, trying her best to summarize.
Aspenstar let out a slight laugh. She wasn't surprised that Sagepaw was confused by the proposition: it was yet another one of Aspenstar's convoluted plans that only she herself truly understood. "Don't get ahead of yourself," she meowed with a flick of her tail. "I'm trusting you with my safety because I have a few extra lives to spare. If I didn't, I'm sure Phantomfox would look at me even more strangely than he did when I pitched the idea." To say her best friend had been fond of the idea of a child taking over her care would be a lie, but he knew better than to challenge her.
"But, essentially, yes," she then continued with a flick of her tail. "You and I will be inseparable until I have evidence that you can handle yourself on your own. Although I personally find your fighting spirit endearing, I don't trust that you can separate that from your work yet, and the last thing I need right now is you inadvertantly starting a war because I empowered you only to leave you to your own devices. This isn't to say Moonpaw won't be watched carefully as well, only to say that I want to watch you myself. Once you prove to me that you are mature enough to be let off the leash, I'll give you the option of staying in position or transitioning to the standard work of the guard. I imagine, though, that you will like the work that we do together."
Aspenstar flicked her tail. "Do you accept the proposition?"
"Absolutely," Sagepaw said, her whiskers twitching. "I'd be an idiot not to." Who cares if Aspenstar was keeping a closer eye on her? That was nothing compared to being in charge of almost everyone on the guard (even if her power was conditional). "I absolutely accept," she repeated, another incredulous smile coming over her features. Maia, Sagekit, Sagepaw, and now a member of the Loyal Guard. Who gave a damn what her father thought of her? Aspenstar clearly thought her capable, and she could prove her loyalty over time.
"So what's my warrior name gonna be? And when do I start?" The russet tabby asked, tail tip twitching in excitement.
"Sagebristle, for your absolutely lovely personality," Aspenstar meowed, flicking her shoulder with her tail. One might read the action as affectionate; after all, she did have some semblance of pride for the young warrior. It pleased the leader that she was willing to take the position, despite it's particular uncertainties. She and Moonblight would be excellent additions to her team.
"As for when you start, I have business to attend to tonight, so if you're ready, we can leave now," she then meowed, rising to her paws. The leader was always some level of busy, it seemed, and soon, Sagebristle would be too, if she lasted by the leader's side.
The newly named Sagebristle grinned, almost flushing under Aspenstar's attention. "I think it's catchy," she said, standing as soon as Aspenstar did. She found herself eager to get started, to prove herself, to keep working towards the next goal- Captain, perhaps? Not that she wanted to take it away from Phantomfox, but she still wasn't the best.
"Lead the way." Sagebristle nodded, trying hard to be composed and business-like despite her childish desire to wriggle with excitement.
She smirked at the she-cat's words, before turning towards the direction of the border. "Before we get too far into the journey," she meowed once they'd gotten a bit aware from the hallow, "I suppose I should establish some other ground rules for missions." She spoke quietly as they walked, quiet enough that no one but Sagebristle would hear her words.
"There are two key rules you must follow when you are on mission for the NightClan crown, whether you are with me or not with me. If you keep these guiding principles in line, most of your decisions in the position should be easier. The first is that you follow my mission order to the letter at all costs. Sometimes, missions will be... how do I put this?" She didn't want to scare the young cat off. "Sometimes, you may not agree with the order. However, no matter your beliefs, you are not to disobey." The Loyal Guard didn't need to know why she made the decisions she did, they didn't have to believe they were right, but they had to follow them. "The stakes of disobeying orders are high. If you disobey an order in a way that I believe puts the clan at risk, you will leave NightClan." Probably not in a very good state, she could have added, but she felt that might be a little too much.
"The second one is more relevant to us tonight. All missions are strictly confidential. Now, there are two levels of confidential. Most missions will be confidential to anyone but fellow members of the loyal guard. In cases where this is appropriate, you all may freely communicate with each other and only each other about details of the mission. We call these level 1 clearance. The missions Moonblight will be on will be in this category of confidentiality."
The leader sounded bored with the explanation of what was going on, but it was necessary that Sagebristle understood.
"However, you in particular will rarely go on a mission that is level 1 clearance. This is simply by nature of the fact that more often than not, you will be with me. If you are on a mission with just me, you may not discuss what happens during the mission with anyone other than myself or Phantomfox, unless I give you direct and explicit permission." Would Sagebristle comment on the fact Larkspur was not included in the group?
She paused as they reached the border. "Follow the two rules and you will be an excellent guard. Fail to follow the rules and you will not be a loyal guard. Do you have questions before we begin? As soon as we cross the border, the mission starts."
Sagebristle followed at her swift pace, listening intently to the rules. Sure, sure, she could follow orders she disagreed with. How bad could the orders be? She could also certainly keep her mouth shut. Sagebristle wasn't a blabber- there were plenty of her own emotions, insecurities, and memories that never left her lips.
The omission of Larkspur's name did catch her attention, but she didn't comment. Instead, she just nodded as they stopped at the border. "Got it. Follow every order and don't talk about missions unless you tell me I can. I can do that." She bit back her eagerness, trying to convey how sincere that last statement was. "I'm ready. Where are we going?"
